when you’re healing, you will fuck up. maybe you’ll relapse, maybe you’ll do something you know is gonna hurt you, maybe you’ll deprive yourself of something you need, whatever. but healing isn’t linear, its wibbly wobbly and weird. you’re not terrible for messing up, you’re not terrible for not being ready to move forward, you’re not terrible for not being perfect. you still deserve healing, and you still deserve respect.
January was a tough year but we made it
I'm getting back to a level of chronically ill where I'm like "wow I am actually very seriously sick all the time and not able to manage and facing the possibility of an incredibly drastic surgery" and I really really don't like it. I'm just over here hurtling towards the point of no return, preparing to have a huge organ removed from my body but having to suffer with it for the next 5 months while I wait for referrals, and I'm just tired and scared and sick.
I hate how abusive parents love to imply that you know nothing about the 'real world', as if they're sheltering you and protecting you from the big evil out there, so you're 'naive and innocent' and don't know how bad it is outside, but what they're really 'sheltering' you from are survival skills and vital knowledge of how to function in the world! They sure are not sheltering you from evil! They're not sheltering you from abuse! They're not sheltering you from cruelty and violence and apathy in the face of suffering! They're not sheltering you from how it feels to be unprotected and isolated in an environment in dangerous individuals! You have all possible experiences of that! You have intimate and extended knowledge of that! You even know how to survive living with them! But self care and taxes, that is the gatekept information. God forbid you know how to live independently.
me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!
“And I don’t think anybody should feel bad if they get diagnosed with a mental illness, ’cause it’s just information about you that helps you to know how to take better care of yourself.
“Being bipolar, there’s nothing wrong with it. Being bipolar is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want.
“And I know some of you are like, ‘But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck those people a little. I don’t know.”
Taylor Tomlinson, Look At You (2022)
in light of recent events, fuck
I know it’s hard but try to resist the urge to say “it’s okay” or “I’m okay” when it’s not true to those you’d like support from.
Try saying things like:
“I’m not okay. I could use some support right now.”
“I’m not okay. Unfortunately, you can’t fix this for me. But I could use the company of a friend.”
“I’m not okay. But I’m not up to talking about it right now. Can we do something else to distract me?”
Often, your loved ones want to help you but they don’t know how.
It’s okay to say you’re not okay. And it’s okay to ask for help.
Crazyheadcomics
33. she/her. disabled. did & cptsd. sex trafficking survivor. posts might be triggering.
232 posts