“They call it dissociation. I call it containers in which I horror-stored. Each of which have to be opened, reheated, rolled out like a lava carpet and crawled on.”
— The Nine | Tara Hardy
I have a medical issue that's triggering sensory flashbacks multiple times a day for the last couple of weeks and I'm SO TIRED AND OVER IT.
There were people complaining about how I'd ruin my rapists life by reporting him but I'm 32 fucking years old and cant function like a normal human. Someone complain about how they ruined MY life.
Being sex trafficked as a kid in broad fucking daylight in the United States is dystopian af, and gave me a dissociative disorder. I'm on three psych meds. Every time I go to the hospital or a new doctor, they see "PTSD" in my chart and tell me my symptoms are anxiety, and that has almost killed me THREE TIMES.
My trafficker is free. My rapists are all either free or dead. The one I took to trial got everything expunged from the records. Somehow he even got the news articles taken down.
And I'm just... Still here. Still trying to cope. Still living in fear of people who probably don't think of me at all.
If you think having uncomfortable conversations is hard - wait until you see the result of not having them.
hey man i haven’t seen a single similar post (concerning???) so i feel like it’s important to make this.
tomorrow is ramadan. your eating disorder will not magically disappear in ramadan.
allah will not hate you if you relapse in ramadan. be it that you faint or you binge, if you need to break your fast because of your eating disorder THEN YOU BREAK YOUR FAST.
You are not supposed to fast when you are sick. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FAST WHEN YOU ARE SICK. IT IS HARAM TO FAST IF YOU ARE SICK BECAUSE IT BRINGS HARM TO YOUR BODY. If you start feeling horribly sick and you know, you haven’t had sufficient suhoor or iftar for a few days or anything of the sort, it is okay to break your fast and even go to the hospital if you need to.
habaybi that have eating disorders, PLEASE take care of yourself during ramadan. It is a month of cleansing and forgiveness, so forgive yourself if you relapse. You can always redo your fast after ramadan.
Jazakallah please reblog this post and ramadan mubarak to you all! ♡
Not me listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack and crying about not feeling like a person anymore after my TBI
One of the most challenging things I’ve had to learn is that healing must be intentional. There is no one golden day that comes and saves you from all your misery. Healing is a practice. You have to decide that it’s what you want to do and actively do it. You have to make a habit out of it. Once I learned that, I only looked back to see how far I came.
I ain't wrong
the more time I spend with kids in my husband's side of the family, the more I love these kids, the more deeply horrified I get about my own childhood- about what my mother did to me. about what she let my stepfather do to me. about how many times I was crying out as hard as I could for help, and didn't get it.
how the fuck, what kind of mental fucking gymnastics did she perform to make her capable of this kind of behavior??? how do you look at a child, your fucking child, and think, "yes, i can facilitate the sexual abuse of this minor for the right price." what the fuck.
33. she/her. disabled. did & cptsd. sex trafficking survivor. posts might be triggering.
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