TW: Choking, Suffocation, Hand Job, Brat Tamer Reader, Teasing

Humans are weird

Have yall noticed how we somehow have strange aversions towards lights?? Like maybe not all of us, but we kind of know that if someone is sitting in the dark, you either leave them or join them. Like last night, I walked into class and there was just one guy there and the lights were off so i just sat down, 30 minutes later everyone else was in and the lights were still off. Only turned it on when the professor came in...

So like imagine aliens finding us huddled in a dark room, with our phones and what-nots, silently laughing at something we read, maybe there are other aliens with us who doesn’t really like light but we don't know that cus it's dark and also we didn't bother to check. Then one crewmate just turns on the lights and we all collectively hiss like a vampire or hide like bugs, so they just turn it back off and stumble blindly into the room until they find—feel through whatever they came for and leaves. No one ever mentions it.

I think it would be hilarious if after making a pact with a demon you strongly feel their sin for a short about of time. Why do I think it would be funny? Cause all I can imagine is Lucifer having to have a sit down with Mc every time they make a pact with one of his brothers. Like after mammon

Lucifer: what did you take.

Mc:…. Nothinggg…

Lucifer: I won’t repeat myself.

Mc, mumbling in shame: ….seventy thousand Grimm..-

Lucifer, slamming hands on table in disbelief: SEVENTY THOU-

After making a pact with Satan

Lucifer, rubbing his temples already: and… after your fellow classmate used your pencil without asking.. you did what?

Mc: broke their nose,

Lucifer: why?

Mc, suddenly shaking in rage: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I NOT THAT WAS MY FUCKING PENCIL!

After making a pact with belphie

Lucifer, shaking Mc: Mc wake up,

Mc: wuh- hhuh, what

Lucifer, annoyed: you’ve been asleep for the past 14 hours get up.

I headcanon that Dabi has ADHD ✨

*Mc minding their business and eating a popsicle*

Random Demon: Ay yo, baby, what that mouth do?

Mc, chuckles: Its about to hurt your fucking feelings if you dont back it up bitch.

Lucifer Facts!!:

- He is actually an affectionate drunk.

- He loves all kinds of music, ranging from classical and cursed records to even metal and rock.

- Lucifer is very passionate about theatre and loves musicals.

- Surprisingly enough, Lucifer hates technopop.

- He refers to himself as a ‘’Demonus Enthusiast’’.

- Lucifer is not a fan of modern art.

- Like Mammon, Lucifer is not a morning demon.

- Lucifer is skilled in playing a range of instruments. Some honourable mentions are piano, violin, guitar and even the drums.

- He is also stated to be a good vocalist.

- Lucifer likes his beverages strong. A valid example would be that he likes his tea that is grown in the ground and covered by solidified volcanic lava that amplifies its sweetness.

I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

⚠️❗️VERY IMPORTANT POST, PLEASE READ!❗️⚠️

everyone. on christmas day, december 25th, we all search up “halloween” to make it a trending search. it would be the FUNNIEST thing ever to see halloween be a trending search on christmas day. tell all your friends, repost this, do everything you can to make sure we can do this. REBLOG AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻

Small General Obey Me Headcanons

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Simeon, Solomon, Diavolo and Barbatos

CW: A bit angsty in each person's parts, nothing too severe, relationships are kept neutral.

Authors Note: I believe I've seen a few of these prior and just absorbed them without realizing- also me projecting onto the brothers. Under a cut due to post length.

Lucifer

He has dyscalclia, and struggles when it comes to doing math and looking at numbers. He's too prideful to admit it though. It's why paperwork and work tends to take him so long- causing work to pile up.

After the fall, Lucifer would find himself wandering the halls, and would sneak into his brothers rooms to make sure they were okay. He'd been caught multiple times by Levi, and learned to be quite good at playing Mario (or the Devildom equivalent) games because of it

Lucifer has another credit card entirely and purposely adds money for Mammon to spend, especially if he thought he was being to harsh on Mammon.

He prefers to be dressed entirely, because clothes cover the scars from where his angel wings used to be.

Mammon

He's way smarter than he lets on, he just knows his brothers have incredibly difficult lives and he wants to take any pressure that he can off of them- even if it makes him the butt of their jokes.

He's incredibly skilled at math, engineering and fixing things- he was quite focused on cars and racing for a while (especially since gambling on them make quite a profit).

Mammon may be greedy, but he often buys small gifts for his brothers and manages to sneak it to them.

Mammon traces over his pact marks when he gets nervous, it helps to ground him if he begins to panic.

Leviathan

Levi's obsession and love for Ruri-chan came from a place of self hatred after becoming a demon.

Levi used to have a mini tub for Henry to swim in as well, but changed it to having a tank so he could fall asleep watching Henry swim around.

Being the Navy's general makes the ocean incredibly calming for him, he will come by Devildoms rivers and oceans and just stare at them at times to relax.

Levi absolutely buys double of almost every manga or anime in case his brothers want to watch it- and he has certain ones saved his brothers in the hope they ask.

Satan

When learning about human culture before the exchange program, he became oddly obsessed with late 2000 Disney movies and would binge watch them when he had the time.

Satan will find synopsis' of Levi's animes and would write fanfictions of them- especially if Levi complained about the ending or way something was done.

Although Satan did have a majority of his Wrath directed towards Lucifer, he was the first and only one of his brothers to learn about his dyscalclia, and has sworn to secrecy about it to protect his brothers pride.

Satan was (and is) a D&D nerd, and has false books full of dice sets for "emergency sessions".

Asmo

After the fall, they got weirdly obsessed with clouds and the sky, and would find places to just watch their beauty, his go to with any partner is to compare them to the beauty of the night sky.

A really good big brother to the twins, used to buy pillows that were "in style" for the twins - ended up getting Belphie the cow print pillow he always has before he was banished.

Every so often they mentally fight to not get piercings. They want some- namely a nose piercing, but don't want to "run the risk of tarnishing their perfect face" if it didn't turn out right.

Asmo has a strange ability to tell what size someone's clothes are- and always manages to get matching sets that fit someone perfectly.

Beelzebub

Beel has super good rhythm, and plays music surprisingly well- especially on the drums!

Beel got into sports to physically tire him out after the long days- it eases his nightmares to tire himself out to such an extent.

He's incredibly comfortable to lay on, there's been quite a few times that Belphie comes over and flops against him to nap.

Belphagor

He got oddly obsessed with musicals, especially since it gives him inspiration for dreams. He's particularly fond of Heathers.

Love language is choking plushie buying, especially if he knows it's something his partner cuddles up to.

He sleeps during class but somehow passes almost perfectly.

If he somehow struggles with sleeping, he goes to Satan to listen to him read.

Simeon

Simeon makes it a mission to better understand technology and makes gifts for those who help him.

Simeon grew a slight obsession with humanity after and during the exchange program- often finding himself wishing he would've joined the brothers in the Celestial War.

Simeon holds study sessions with Luke and often invites Barbatos and Diavolo to talk over tea and sweets.

Solomon

Absolutely covered in markings from his pacts, they travel from his neck to his ankles- and when he starts trying to concentrate he traces over the ones that travel down his arms.

He developed multiple relationships in the Human world, but grew to cherish friendships over romantic relationships.

Has a large collection of Grandpa slippers.

Diavolo

Loves sharing his clothes, especially because he likes seeing how his friends (and partners) look in more royal suited clothes- and likes seeing how his clothes swallow them up.

He grows incredibly attached fast- especially given that his only friends were not usually friends with him of their free will.

He finds sitting on the castles' roof and staring up at the sky relaxing- it makes him feel like every other demon and shortly lifts the weight of being the future king off his shoulders.

Barbatos

Listens to music when cleaning the palace but refuses to tell anyone what's on his playlists.

Accidentally set Diavolo on a rampage by giving him pickles- insures that pickles are banned in the castle from that point forward.

Once managed to pin Satan during a wrathful episode- every one agreed to never talk about it, himself included.

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.