Febuwhump 2020

Me with things I don’t know how to do

David Tennant and Matt Smith at Wales Comic Con

So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.

Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.

One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.

All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.

So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.

And Mr. Hargrove loved it.

It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.

Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”

And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.

Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.

One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.

That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.

And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.

And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)

So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.

Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.

tony stark: quarantine edition

“I’d love to stop watching TV, but you cancelled school!”

aka, YouTube series to binge when you’re stuck indoors and you’d like to learn a little something.

ART!

Lindsay Ellis’ entire YouTube channel. It’s like film school for people who can’t afford film school.

Here she is teaching you about film theory… via the Transformers movies.

Here she is talking about the ways the potrayals of various characters have changed and developed over the years.

It’s Lit! A series hosted by Lindsay Ellis in collaboration with PBS, about reading, writing, and the publishing industry.

Brows Held High. Half comedy reviews, half artistic and political analysis of “highbrow” films – often both at once.

Also he has talked about Shakespeare a LOT. Like, so much, you guys.

ThugNotes. Advertised as “classic literature, original gangster.” Sparky Sweets, PhD, summarizes and analyzes some books you may have heard of.

Terrible Writing Advice. Teaching you how to write by telling you how not to write.

Maven of the Eventide. A very nerdy goth lady reviews vampire-focused content, and has thus talked quite a lot about the history of the vampire genre and how it’s developed over the centuries. It’s so awesome. She also has really cute kids who show up sometimes!

SCIENCE!

Sexplanations. One very smart lady answers all your sex ed questions. Yes, even that one.

Tibees. A PhD student explains physics and math… in the style of Bob Ross, baking videos, and shitposts.

Cool Worlds. Videos about astronomy and space and other planets, for when you want to think about how small you are.

Minute Physics. Complicated scientific ideas, in short, easy to digest videos.

SciShow: Hank Green and friends tackle serious scientific queries, like, “Why don’t we just throw trash into volcanoes?”

HISTORY!

Ruining History. Shane Madej infodumps about salacious periods in history that were left out of the books. People have always been weird, y’all.

On that note: Puppet History! It’s a new one, but it’s a lot like Ruining History, but with puppets and songs, too.

BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime. If I get mysteriously murdered with no leads, Ryan and Shane are the only people allowed to talk about it. 

Also Supernatural often has some interesting historical tidbits.

MISCELLANEOUS CRAP!

Adam Ruins Everything. One very earnest, very nerdy man annoys his friends and family by debunking common misconceptions about everything from chemistry to the TSA to the funeral industry.

Last Week Tonight. Comedy news program hosted by a sad British man in America. Depending on the episode, you might see him get in a jockstrap-related feud with Russel Crowe, troll the FCC with robocalls, or interview Edward Snowden. Constantly wastes HBO’s money on stupid shit. Always funny, always informative, and he hates Trump SO. GODDAMN. MUCH.

Defunctland. Our host Kevin gives us the rundown on theme park attractions, and sometimes whole parks, that don’t exist anymore – how they were developed, and why they ultimately shut down.

He also has a side-series about kids’ TV shows that don’t exist anymore.

And a miniseries about the works of Jim Henson.

Daily Moth. American news given in ASL, with full English transcripts.

Ali Abdaal. A Cambridge grad talks about life has a junior doctor, and how to study and work more effectively.

Feel free to add!

Hamilton, at 5 am after his 10th cup of coffee dancing around his living room: Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga I know you can't control yourself any longer!

Eliza, walking downstairs: Go to bed!!

Hamilton: I’LL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD!

Tony Stark – King of making 100% relatable faces

Hey I live in North Dakota, and I’m telling you all five occupants of the state don’t ever go there. It’s something you dare others to go into.

It’s abandoned for a reason...

Abandoned house in North Dakota farm country. [3456 x 2304]

Love it if you asked!

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

is your room messy or clean?

what color are your eyes?

do you like your name? why?

what is your relationship status? 

describe your personality in 3 words or less

what color hair do you have?

what kind of car do you drive? color?

where do you shop?

how would you describe your style?

favorite social media account

what size bed do you have? 

any siblings?

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

favorite snapchat filter? 

favorite makeup brand(s)

how many times a week do you shower?

favorite tv show?

shoe size?

how tall are you?

sandals or sneakers? 

do you go to the gym? 

describe your dream date

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

what color socks are you wearing? 

how many pillows do you sleep with?

do you have a job? what do you do? 

how many friends do you have? 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

whats your favorite candle scent? 

3 favorite boy names

3 favorite girl names

favorite actor? 

favorite actress? 

who is your celebrity crush?

favorite movie? 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

money or brains? 

do you have a nickname? what is it? 

how many times have you been to the hospital?

top 10 favorite songs

do you take any medications daily? 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

what is your biggest fear? 

how many kids do you want? 

whats your go to hair style?

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

who is your role model? 

what was the last compliment you received?

what was the last text you sent?

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

what is your dream car? 

opinion on smoking?

do you go to college? 

what is your dream job? 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

do you have freckles? 

do you smile for pictures?

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

have you ever peed in the woods? 

do you still watch cartoons? 

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Favorite dipping sauce? 

what do you wear to bed? 

have you ever won a spelling bee?

 what are your hobbies?

can you draw? 

do you play an instrument?

what was the last concert you saw? 

tea or coffee?

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

do you want to get married?

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

are you going to change your last name when you get married? 

what color looks best on you? 

do you miss anyone right now? 

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

do you believe in ghosts?

what is your biggest pet peeve? 

last person you called`

favorite ice cream flavor? 

regular oreos or golden oreos? 

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

what shirt are you wearing? 

what is your phone background?

are you outgoing or shy?

do you like it when people play with your hair?

do you like your neighbors? 

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

have you ever been high? 

have you ever been drunk? 

last thing you ate? 

favorite lyrics right now

summer or winter? 

day or night? 

dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

favorite month? 

what is your zodiac sign

 who was the last person you cried in front of? 

Yeah I know it’s not edited... forgive me

it’s QUIZ TIME on tumblr and this is a doctor who zone ONLY so take this & tag which (nuwho) doctor you are

With the idea of being a black man and becoming Captain America, it’s been a daunting task because I think, at this day and age in America, I think we are open-minded to the idea of having my face represent us as a country, my race represent us as a country, because we’re truly a melting pot. So there is no distinctive look or feel or design of an American. We’re all Americans.