Break Up With Him | B.eilish

break up with him | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. you and billie are broken up. but despite your new relationship, when you meet at a party, the feelings you both swore were gone, seem to resurface.

warnings. suggestive, arguing, mentions of alcohol, cheating (with billie)

masterlist

your hand flew to your face in a weak effort to block the rays of sun, tempting you to wake up. you shifted your body and tried to lift your head but it started pounding violently, reminding you of the events that had transpired the night before. trying to roll out of bed proved to be useless, as you became conscious of an arm holding you back from doing so. you looked down to see billie's hand holding your bare tit. you’d recognise her rings anywhere. and her other hand, littered with fairies, was draped over your naked stomach. you silently cursed yourself. you’d been here before, it wasn’t new.

"what the fuck." you whispered and she stirred. you carefully lifted her hand from your breast, the loss of contact evident in the cool morning air, and you slowly got out of bed. you quickly found your shirt and jeans on the ground along with your bra. you found the bathroom, quickly heading to the sink to splash your face with water and put your clothes back on, not allowing yourself to give the reason they were off, a second of your thoughts.

"i have to admit, you’re exactly who i expected to see." billie said, groggily, as you walked out of the bathroom, she was covering herself with the sheets, her clothes bunched up on the floor next to her. you were really hoping she would've still been sleeping.

"uh, yeah. here we are again." you held your forehead in your hand as you tried to fight the incoming headache.

"you can’t seem to keep away from me, can you?" she grinned at you and you crossed your arms.

"this isn't funny bils, you're enjoying this?"

"a little. you can't tell me you didn't." she admitted still smirking.

"fortunately I don't seem to have vivid memories of the experience." you huffed, gathering some of the things that had spilt out of your bag when you’d dumped it on the floor.

"fortunately? that's an exaggeration, I can remind you." she smiled, widening her eyes, her finger tracing the skin on your shoulder.

"billie, I can't do this with you." you stepped away from her, regaining your self control.

"well your drunk self seems to think otherwise." she got up not bothering to keep covering herself as she picked up her clothes. when you turned away she spoke again. "come on, it's nothing you haven't seen before." your predicament was obviously amusing to her. you shuffled through your jeans and in the sheets looking for your phone.

"your boyfriend called," billie, now fully dressed, held up your phone which she'd found on the floor, "eight times." she swung your phone in her hand and you took it from her checking through it to see eight missed calls from your boyfriend, who you’d forgotten about until this very moment.

"fuck, fuck, fuck. why didn't you stop us if you knew I'm in a relationship?" you raised your voice slightly.

"don't come blaming me, i was drunk too." she raised her hands up in defense.

“fuck.” you repeated.

"hey, it's okay," she held your face as your brain caught up to heart, which was racing violently. "calm down, angel." she whispered sweetly.

"no it's not okay bils i don't cheat, i'm not a cheater.” she stopped herself from laughing but a silent giggle slipped out.

“cut the crap. this is what? the third time you’ve woken up here with the same reaction?”

“i’m in a relationship, get over it. i'm sorry if I got your hopes up, don't call me." you grabbed your bag from the foot of the bed and exited the room.

"wait" she called, and it took all of your strength to ignore it and close the bedroom door behind you. as you crossed the hall you figured out you were in billie’s house, it hadn’t changed much since you were last here. but before you could leave, billies arm pulled you back into the room you’d woken up in.

“we’re not done talking.” she said sternly, before closing the door again. locking it so that you couldn’t escape without her stopping you.

“i’m quite done. we broke up billie, months ago.” you told her, trying to loosen the grip she had on your arms, but to no avail.

“it sure didn’t take you long to move on.” she spat back, matching your own attitude to the situation. her face moving impossibly closer to yours.

“don’t do that.” you looked away from her, considering it a low blow.

“don’t do what? tell you the truth? you need a fucking wake up call. you can’t keep avoiding your feelings.” you were silenced, not knowing how to clap back at her argument. she took your cheeks in her hands when you didn’t answer, forcing you to look at her.

“don’t tell me last night was just a drunken mistake to you.” there was an undertone of hurt in her voice.

“it was.” you replied, lying through your teeth.

“i don’t believe you.” she challenged.

“believe what you want.” it was a shitty response. a non answer to a statement you didn’t want to face.

“you wouldn’t do it again if it was just a mistake.”

“believe what you want.” you repeated and she clicked her tongue, shaking her head in disbelief.

“do you regret it?” she asked, hesitant.

“yes.” her demeanour changed as she contemplated whether she believed you or not. you instantly regretted it though, you didn’t want to hurt her, despite everything. “not because of you bils, because of him.”

“because of him? what does that even mean?” her hands left your body and suddenly you craved for them to return.

“i can’t keep cheating on him with you.” she was laughing out of anger, disbelief planted on her face.

“break up with him.” she suggested, and it took you a while to realise she was dead serious.

“for you?” you asked her to clarify what she meant. she nodded and you sighed, “I don’t know, billie.” you said honestly.

“admit it, he’s just an excuse for you not to date me.”

“your in over you head.”

“you’re going to tell me you haven’t missed me?” she asked, her eyes filled with emotions you didn’t have the courage to face.

“of course, but that’s not why.” she came closer, lifting your chin when she spoke.

“don’t you go home every time you wake up here cursing yourself because you can’t stop thinking of me?” she was sincere now, the fight forgotten.

“billie stop.”

“then tell me why, angel. i’ll make it better, i’ll try my best.”

“you hurt me, you became distant all of a sudden and practically ghosted me.” you recounted the events of your breakup.

“i wasn’t in the right place.” she explained but to you, it still felt like an empty excuse.

“how can i trust that you are now?” your head was spinning with the possibility of being with her again.

“i’ll show you, let me show you.” she whispered on your skin as she kissed down your neck. she made you weak and she knew it.

“i have a boyfriend.” the statement was false in so many ways except literal.

“break up with him.” she repeated. her hands travelling lower and her lips marking your skin.

“billie.” you said her name. like a chant, like a plea, like you hadn’t said it in years.

“baby?” she questioned your call for her attention as she left your neck, the feeling of her lips still lingering. she looked into your eyes when you didn’t speak.

“do you still love me?” she questioned, her eyes never leaving yours. it was hard to look at her and withhold the truth.

“i-” the words were at the tip of your tongue but it was as if you were frozen, her compelling gaze keeping you in place.

“hm?” it was a soft sound, grounding you.

“of course i do.” you gave in and she smiled, her teeth showing.

“you better break up with him after this.” she said before pulling your lips to hers, and they followed like a magnet. your chest tightened as your hands met her black hair, pulling harder than you’d wanted them to. she groaned, her mouth opening, inviting your tongue in. in the end, you’d always find yourself giving in, going back to her. ready to let her hurt you all over again. but you didn’t care. at least not in the moment.

part 2