Chain Of Command Chapter 2

things in volume 13 that make me insane:

I wish Americans fucked with more foreign music. You don’t have to know the language to appreciate a good record. Folks in other countries listen to our music and don’t speak a lick of english. Music needs no translator

foodjars_

this was amazing

I think a lot about The Bathroom Scene™ and how Kaz's selfless actions towards Inej are contrasted with their discussion about whether he's any different from Pekka, but Chapter 26 as a whole also does a lot to show how much Kaz cares about all of his Crows and not just Inej. He spends a lot of time in that chapter thinking about how he's probably about to die, and yet he does everything in his power to make sure his Crows get out alive.

He specifically zeroes on Inej's safety, of course (because when isn't Kaz focused on her?) but his actions, dialogue, and internal monologue are all entirely centered around how guilty he feels for getting everyone into this mess and how desperate he is to make sure he's the only collateral damage of his own scheme at the end of the day:

Kaz sits down and (more or less) fully explains his entire plan to the Crows instead of keeping them in the dark

Kaz gives Jesper's dad the only protection he's still able to give: his own family's name and reputation

Kaz ruminates on why he called Jesper by his brother's name and implicitly acknowledges that it's because he's scared to recognize Jordie in Jesper (that he's afraid to lose another brother)

Kaz thinks "But they’d landed in a trap, and if he had to chew his paw off to get them out of it, then that was what he would do."

Kaz pays off Inej's contract by liquidating "every asset he had" and explicitly tells her "I don't want you to be beholden to Per Haskell. Or me."

Kaz tells Inej about his emergency money stash and charges her with getting everyone out of the city safely if he doesn't come back from the Slat

Kaz tells her "Whatever happens to me, survive this city. Get your ship, have your vengeance, carve your name into their bones. But survive this mess I’ve gotten us into."

Kaz leaves on a suicide mission, telling Inej not to follow, because if he's going to die he wants to be the only one in active danger

And of course Kaz had already offered to serve himself up on a silver platter to the stadwatch and give them a way out even before he came up with the auction plan (though we don't get Kaz's point of view of The Clocktower Fight, I suspect it's also why he picked that fight with Jesper: he knew Jesper would never leave him to die unless he made him mad enough to "walk away" for once in his life).

What separates Kaz from other Barrel Bosses like Pekka isn't just that he would never sell a person or con/otherwise harm children. It's that at his lowest, when all the bravado and scheming and masks are stripped away, Kaz chooses to put himself on the line and sacrifice his own safety over putting his people in any more danger than they have to be. Because despite his ruthlessness and casual assholery, Kaz simply doesn't have it in him to watch those he cares about get hurt if he can prevent it. He ended Chapter 26 saying he intended to leave damage behind when he's gone, but also spent the entirety of the Geldrunner chapters spending time and effort and money he didn't have to minimize the damage as much as possible for his friends (his new family) if the worst should happen to him.

So he gives them a safe place to land where the gangs won't find them. He tries to push them away and make them mad enough that they won't grieve him when he dies. He gives them multiple ways out even if none of those options guarantee his own safety. He gives them money and as much safety as he can provide with the whole city out for their blood. He gives Inej her freedom. And he gives them time to rest, recharge, and prepare for whichever plan they end up doing while he goes off to stage a coup he's not sure he'll come back from.

This is all to say: Kaz could never be Pekka, no matter how tough of a game he talks about burning everything to the ground, because Kaz cares too much to ever become Pekka. Even as he continues to pretend not to care about anything but the money, his love for his city and his Crows are baked into every one of his thoughts and actions in those chapters. Unlike Pekka, who flees first Ketterdam and then Kerch entirely when his son is in (percieved) danger, Kaz stays to fight for the city he bent to his will. And unlike Per Haskell, who lets other people do his dirty work and sells out at the first opportunity for glory, Kaz puts himself on the front lines first even when doing so comes at a great cost to himself.

Pekka chases money and power for their own sake. Per Haskell chases money and power for the decadence, glory, and laziness it allows him to get away with. Kaz chases money and power because he knows what it's like to be powerless and wants to, in his own weird way, protect others from suffering his trauma and himself from losing anyone else he cares about. And that's why even at his most unhinged Kaz could never become Pekka Rollins: his quest for power and fame and riches comes from a fundamentally different place. Kaz Brekker doesn't need a reason, but he has at least five at all times during the course of the duology...and while those reasons are often filtered through his primary reason (Inej's freedom, safety, and happiness), none of them are ever far from his mind.

"Kill the largest number possible. The baby is an enemy. The first grader is an enemy. The pregnant woman is the enemy." -Israeli analyst and IDF veteran, Eliyahu Yossian expresses Israel's genocidal intent

"Hamas is not the enemy here, Gaza is the enemy. It's not important who you warn or who evacuates a neighborhood. This is what's called flattening the area, leveling the ground. You ask me what I would do? The answer is simply leveling the ground and to kill the largest number possible. Because the woman there is an enemy, the baby is an enemy. The first grader is an enemy. And the pregnant woman is the enemy. We see a boy carrying chocolate in his hand. He will learn to use a weapon. He is a terrorist even though he is a boy."

Video by award winning advocacy group Electronic Intifada

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY TO GRAVITY FALLS!

(click to see larger)

Back in Oct. 2018, my project for inktober was at least one pic from every episode.  Because of the pace, there were restrictions; I did each on a post-it note, limited coloring, and chose things that would fit the square format and that I could get done in time (between working full-time and owl-banding most nights).  I always sort of wanted to redo a bunch of those; but really, what occasion would merit putting in THAT much time and effort for a project of that size?

Well, how about for the 10th anniversary of the premiere of Gravity Falls?

I’m not saying this was a *smart* project to tackle, but I thought it might be “easier” because I had first drafts of most of the pieces; I just wanted to redo them so they’d look better, with 4 more years of practice under my belt and a new move to digital art.  (Narrator: it was not really easier.)  Some I redid completely, or did new to create the full sets above.  Basically, once I’d hit on this idea, and decided to link it to the refrain of “How Far We’ve Come”, I was committed; there was no way I was going to *not* try to do it.

I know that “How Far We’ve Come” gets fanvidded for eight billion different shows.  But, the first time I heard the song was in one of the first Gravity Falls fanvids I ever watched (link  below), so it will always be a GF song for me.

Gravity Falls has meant a lot to me for the past 6 years that I’ve been active in the fandom.  I have no doubt it will always have a big place in my heart. I’m definitely not done with things I’d like to do for it.  I’m so glad to see people coming together to celebrate this big anniversary! 

ALSO: needless to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Stan and Ford!

“How Far We’ve Come” by @findmeinthealps2 / @findmeinthealps

larry the cat slander will not be tolerated

“Larry is bad at catching mice so he’s bad at his job”

You FOOLS

His official duties according to www.gov.uk, the official website of the UK government, are “greeting guests to the house, inspecting security defences and testing antique furniture for napping quality” and “contemplating a solution to the mouse occupancy of the house” which he says “is still ‘in tactical planning stage’.”

He’s doing his job JUST FINE

Incredibly specific moments in atla i think about ALL the time (i am Not normal)

Zuko's eyes slightly widening when witnessing Katara's bloodbending for the first time

Aang and Katara just missing each other looking back at the other after their argument in The Warriors of Kyoshi

Toph holding onto Sokka's arm once on Appa when he didn't have a saddle and once on the boat bringing them to the lake town

The moon being in full view as Suki tries to kiss Sokka in the Serpent's Pass, and the shadow returning as Sokka leaves

The "four seasons for love" motif coming back throughout the episodes of the Northern Watertribe and specifically as Sokka gives himself up to serve in the battle against Zhao's seige and Yue turns away and quietly cries as she watches him walk off

Longshot talking for the first time ever as Jet lay dying

In that same breath, the way Toph says "he's lying" as they walk away from Jet knowing that he's going to die

Aang looking back at the Southern Airtemple ruins along with Momo as they fly away from it, seeing it disappear behind the clouds (this one specifically makes me cry so much)

The chants as Aang gets summoned by the Lion Turtle in book 3 being the SAME as the chants when Aang fuses with the ocean spirit in book 1 (there's other moments with these chants i think but i can't remember them off the top of my head)

Aang taking down Ozai's airship in the finale as his first attack and Sokka cheering him on like a proud older brother

Katara immediately without a shadow of a doubt responding "Aang won't lose" when Zuko questions if he'll be able to take on Ozai

Aang knowing Zuko was gonna fire at him in the crystal catacombs as soon as Zuko laid eyes on him (he gasped before Zuko even made a move) when even Azula wasn't sure what Zuko was gonna do in that scenario

poor donald😢😢hopefully he wont have to resort to selling his versace sweaters to eat now!!

so eye-opening to understand that self-love and self-sufficiency are inherently different concepts. if you enjoy going to places alone, cooking alone, taking a walk by yourself, you’re self-sufficient—able to both rely on and luxuriate in your own company in instances where you’re on your own. but self-love has more to do with how compassionate you are to yourself when you make mistakes: with understanding that failure is human, that it’s unavoidable at times, and that you should be kind to yourself when it happens rather than critical of your shortcomings. this is why the whole adage that “you can’t truly be loved by someone else until you love yourself” kind of falls flat for me. finding someone else who’s emotionally secure & available has been proven to help you become more compassionate/kind/patient to yourself (self-love), even if you already know how to spend time alone (self-sufficiency). confusing these two things has led people to mistakenly believe that wanting human connection means that you can’t rely on yourself, when in reality it’s perfectly valid to want a bond that strengthens your self-esteem and encourages you to pursue life the way you want to