Compassion Fatigue, Activism Fatigue, Secondary Trauma, All Of Those Are Very Real Things. Being Burned

right a week or so ago i saw a post re: trans masculinity about how it's silly to say the queer community doesn't devalue men cos gay men are often the centre of attention and the main 'representation' of the community, and i hear that, acknowledge it, whatever

but you acknowledge that's a specific type of gay man, right? usually skinny, white, a 'twink', if you will - effeminate if not outright femmy, heavily embellished in drag culture and 'the scene'. rarely (and mostly online, maybe different outside the UK) does it include black men too though they are usually also skinny and 'twinks' (and obviously in different countries this will also centre/include different races. don't be obtuse with me here. they're still usually skinny and ablebodied still).

meanwhile bears are viewed as a rarity, 'actually they're so masculine but they're very nice!' which is backhanded lol; whenever a 'masculine' looking [straight] man is a little bit effeminate they get assumed to be gay, but masculine looking masculine acting men don't get this assumption; masculine presenting and acting trans men (and neither are trans women or nonbinary people who fit this bill) aren't included in so-called 'safe spaces' for cis women, trans people, nonbinary people; any masculine looking guy in a gay space is assumed to be a threat first; every masculine gay guy i know feels a little bit annoyed/irritated that they have to fem themselves up to fit in to the point they reject calling themselves 'gay' and opt for 'queer' cos they aren't effeminate

like, yeah, sure, men are the face of the queer community when they're effeminate, usually white, ablebodied, perisex, and skinny but not when they're masculine, fat, disabled, intersex or of colour. anti-masculinity is fucking rife in the queer community at large, the only places i really see it openly accepted and celebrated IRL and online is in kink and fetish spaces (where they're also presumed to be tops, dominating, aggressors until they prove otherwise - usually by making themselves act more effeminate as mentioned previously - and then society at large considers these types of men predators and pedophiles etc for daring to express their kinks in spaces made for them in a safe-for-work manner)

then older men are better at accepting masculine men, also, but the queer community especially online doesn't acknowledge older people ever. so

no, actually, i do think the queer community has a problem with men, but more specifically masculinity (which isn't limited to men of course). so the moment trans men dare to dip their toes into masculinity, embrace body hair, beards, embrace 'men' mannerisms, to take up space, to be loud, to have masculine-associated hobbies, they're not considered trans anymore. and you barely like trans men when they're more feminine, anyway.

People make it out as trans fems vs trans mascs in every aspect. No! We are gonna join together and overthrow the government! Join me fellow trans brothers, sisters, and siblings so we can rule the world!

^^^^

If your argument is that transmascs had no place in trans culture in its beginning stages...

you should be WAY more concerned about what was happening to your transmasc siblings during those stages, than any kind of 'gotcha'

(Credit to @zaebeecee)

"trans men transition because they hate women and femininity" I've literally never seen a group of men who felt so guilty and ashamed of their masculinity and being male or who loved and supported women and femininity as much as trans men in my life but ok. just throw away their support it's whatever

sorry I couldn't resist

I have been queerbashed.

I have narrowly avoided being queerbashed more than once.

And it was specifically for being a trans man.

So no, I don’t have time. I don’t have patience. I don’t have sympathy or bandwidth or whatever other soft little thing people want me to give when they deny or downplay the very real, very visceral, very dangerous oppression that people like me, that I, live through.

You want to have a thinkpiece moment? Do it somewhere else. You want to play the “who has it worse” game, or twist your mouth around some academic garbage to try and erase or diminish transmasc people? No. Out of my space. Out of my life. Out of my line of sight.

I am not a concept. I am not a theory. I am a human being who has been hunted. I am still here. And I am not interested in justifying my right to speak or exist. Not to you, not to anyone.