PTSD & Ford's Questionable Choices Regarding Summer Attire

Thanks to @callipraxia for inspiring me to write this.

I know I've joked about how silly it is that Ford wears a turtleneck and trenchcoat in the humid Oregon summer, but as someone who lives in the humid midwest and has dermatillomania, I 100% understand.

Perhaps most important is the fact that he's basically cosplaying as Carl Sagan, which I've mentioned before, but I think I finally found the words to explain why it's so meaningful. I know that modeling my own outfits after my idols provides a huge measure of emotional safety and that is something that Ford would absolutely need after coming back to his old house.

That house is ground zero for his biggest failures. That house is where he met Bill, where he was manipulated, where he slaved on working a damned portal for a demon. He stayed awake for days upon days in that house, bleeding from his eye, unsure if the whispers were only in his head or leaking from the dimension beyond. His brother was branded in that house and it was his fault. Fiddleford lost his mind in that house and it was his fault. The world was doomed in that house and it was his fault.

I'm particularly concerned because Ford spent a lot of time alone in the lab with the portal, just him and his thoughts. He was so close to fixing everything once and for all and what right did Stan have to rob him of his heroic moment? Manually dismantling the portal feels a whole lot less heroic than storming the nightmare realm with a massive gun and it does very little to distract him from how angry and tired he is; he's angry about being tired and he's tired of being angry.

I personally headcanon that Ford is absolutely covered in tattoos and scars under those long sleeve layers. He's been through hell and his body reflects that. But those marks are incredibly personal; a lot of them represent pain and failures and this is the author of "TRUST NO ONE" we're talking about. Vulnerability gets people killed in his experience and there's a reason he's still alive. He has to stay alive to fix his mistakes.

More Posts from Drawbeautifully and Others

drawbeautifully

1 year ago

I haaaaate when ppl treat ford being upset over his identity being taken and his house getting turned into essentially a mockery of his research was completely unreasonable

like, was stan doing his best with a terrible situation? absolutely! would ford kicking him out be an actually fair option? fuck no!

but he's been in this dimension for probably 12 hours. god knows the last time he's slept. he'd been nearly dead prior to going thru the portal and now has to deal with the fact that he's lost everything. he doesn't even have his own identity anymore.

I honestly don't even think half the shit ford says to stan is truly about stanley or ford's opinion of him, so much as it is about his own issues and how weighed down with guilt he is.

I think its worth noting that ford only ever says mean things about stan when he's pissed off- when he's not angry, he's much more willing to actually discuss things and try to find common ground (such as when he invites stan to play d,d&d).

it honestly comes off more as him not knowing how to communicate anger outside of hurting people than it does genuine malice towards stan. and also I don't think ford ever really internalized that stan was homeless in the duration of the show

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drawbeautifully

3 years ago

Winter is just around the corner and New Year is coming soon, and my thoughts are all about summer days😅