Art Will Save You, Being Unreasonably Passionate About Something Niche Will Save You, Letting Past Sources

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

Saul Leiter

Untitled, n.d

(x)

running on a different operating system

to brush most people's probing aside

is effortless, deflecting blows so they never see you - I've had to catch myself noticing people in weak moments. they make you feel like some unfathomable pillar

created by something ancient or alien, or maybe just yourself.

I despise the predatory element,

a weakness seen

that could blend in better -

now it’s something kind,

learning what makes people tick. I wonder if other people like me exist

building fortresses of knowledge

no one suspects we possess -

I catch myself studying people,

watching from outside the circle

of normal human interaction.

it’s not malicious,

just different -

a compulsion maybe, or just curiosity distilled into methodical observation.

it started as survival,

now I notice the pause before a practiced lie,

the subtle shift in posture when someone feels threatened -

all these blaring, bright neon signs I used to try to mimic.

sometimes I wonder if they can tell

I’m building libraries of their expressions,

cataloging their reactions

and how they signal belonging - it’s exhausting work.

sometimes I catch someone watching me,

an eye-meet, wonder-if they’re like me moment, or if they just sense something off

and wrong -

we were constellations once,

maybe now there’s just a slight delay

in recognition,

while I wonder if they’re like me

collecting a moment for too long.

I Listened to that Band in 500 BC

Corona of the Egyptian Eclipse, 1882

source

naum gabo : klichee, 1924 / bauhaus bücher

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Cathedral of ClermontFerrand

Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral + Lyrics

diamond rain reykjavík, 2023