If You Have A Long Beak It Must Feel Sooo Good To Hold A Little Red Fruit In It

im fucking sobbing why did they kill him twice in a row in the community notes

NASA's Webb Rings in the Holidays with the Ringed Planet Uranus by NASA's James Webb Space Telescope

A response on a friend's Facebook page to a fundie trying to pick a flight over a single verse because he has a gotcha lined up.

I'm pretty sure you would walk out of my talk too. And a lot sooner.

I don't read the Bible the same way you do. I used to. I used to be a very good fundamentalist and 6 day anti-evolutionist. So I understand where you are coming from. And I empathize with your position. So I’m warning you that what I believe is going to offend you and probably make you think some uncharitable things about me, my relationship with God, and my salvation.

I have no expectation of changing your mind, I’m just sharing what I believe and we are going to have to agree to disagree and live as good neighbors as best we can and discuss things nicely till God sets us both straight in a few decades after you and I have both kicked the bucket.

I am not a gap theorist. I believe, much like CS Lewis seemed to based on some things he said in "The Problem of Pain" that creation stories are meant to communicate deep spiritual truths and they were not meant to communicate historical accuracy or scientific understandings.

Unlike fundamentalist Muslims, I don't believe God dictated the scriptures to a prophet. Unlike fundamentalist Mormons, I don't believe prophets copied scriptures off of golden plates.

I believe that the Jewish scriptures are far more of a team effort.

The Jewish scriptures are the result of imperfect humans trying to hear Holy Spirit's whispers. Being human, they could not hear perfectly and were understanding Holy Spirit through their own cultural lenses and personal experiences/lenses. There is a huge subjective element to the Jewish scriptures as Noah, Abraham, Moses, and the prophets did their best to write/tell their understandings within their very small and isolated worlds.

Genesis did not have Genesis chapter 1 when first put down by Moses.

It only had the Garden creation story that came from Noah.

The creation Week story was written during or soon after Babylon. It does not plagiarize the Babylonian myths as some like to snidely accuse. It uses them like a meme. The meaning is in the differences. Everyone knew the Babylonian myths because they were the main superpower and had been for centuries and would be for centuries more. Using the Babylonian myths seemed a good way to keep their own creation story relevant and understandable for a very long time. The Jews include a huge amount of snide swipes at the Babylonian’s mythology/religion while also communicating the beauty and goodness of God and the goodness and beauty of God’s Creation. Mel Brooks carries on that tradition.

So for most of events in the Bible, the Jewish people only knew the Garden story of how it was all perfect till the snake tempted the woman to sin and the woman then tempted the man to sin too and then God cursed not only the snake and those two humans, but all of their descendants, the animals, the planet and the whole universe to death and suffering. And the sin stories that followed showed how sin ruined everything and that even wiping out all of humanity and starting over didn’t work so God chose Abram and the Jewish people to be God’s special project and that God was a patriarchal suzerain king who demanded perfection to God’s every demand even when it came to murdering your own children. (Or other people’s children who were living in the land God told you you could have.)

What followed was a learning experience lead by the prophets and opposed by the priests/aristocracy to learn how God was different from that and that God really really wanted people to treat each other and even the animals and the land fairly and that caring for the poor and oppressed was the most important thing. While the priests and the rest of the aristocracy and fundamentalists were convinced it was primarily about perfect obedience and worshipping God correctly and within their religion and justice, kindness, and mercy were secondary.

It was not until the priests and aristocracy had their power and wealth stripped from them and were exiled into Babylon that they began to question their understandings without their “promised” land or temple or sacrifices.

When several generations later they were returned to the land their ancestors had lived in, they were a different kind of people. The priests and other aristocrats had lost so much of their wealth and power and pride and were a new people with a better understanding of God. And they wrote a new creation story that focused, not on sin, but on Creation and God’s goodness and generosity. That they lived in a good creation. And that the things other people thought controlled everything were lights and calendars to help them. That the world was full of order and beauty. Even if it wasn’t safe, it was good.

And humans were no longer sinners. They were very good.

And they put this new piece of scripture, not in its own book as you or I might have, but instead they put it at the very beginning of their most important scripture to change the way they read and understood all of their scriptures.

That argument between the Priests/Aristocrats/Fundamentalists vs the Prophets was still going on at the time of Jesus and is still going on today.

I think that if we can let go of our fundamentalist reading and interpretation of the first few chapters of Genesis, and reinterpret things in light of Genesis One as being it’s own little section from a different place/time/context, we will have a much truer understanding of God and, more importantly, God’s heart and the purpose of Jesus and the meaning of Jesus’ death and resurrection. And furthermore we will have a better relationship with God and our neighbors and God’s good Creation.

Sorry not sorry to write so much. But it is a complicated question and a complicated answer and I still only gave you a barebones outline.

McNabb didn't "choke" in the Superbowl. And give Andy a break about mismanaging the clock when he did everything else he possibly could to coach the Avengers into nearly defeating Thanos without any deus ex machina bull shit.

Just pure gumption and genius coaching. But nothing beats 2000's Brady. Even as a fucking AARP member with the fucking Tampa Bay Rays he's still formidable and a regular contender for the Superbowl today.

Back then Brady and the Patriot offense was an unstoppable force that just plowed up and down the field and every possession ended in a TD.

The 2004 Eagles kept up with Brady.

And our defense fucked him up like the spirit of Reggie White possessed them.

They made him cry and throw a tantrum and got dirt on his uniform. And turf in his face mask. Hitting and hurrying Brady almost every down against the very best offensive line money and guaranteed Superbowl rings can buy.

And fucking Brady just got even better.

And yet. And yet with Terrell Owens on a broken leg playing half speed yet doing outrageous plays and a nervous McNabb playing extremely competently using his legs and working well with Westbrook doing his magic and Owens showboating, Andy Reid almost did it. He almost got his offense to keep up with Brady and his defense to slow Brady down enough to give Donovan a chance to win.

But McNab let the pressure get to him at the end and stopped having fun. And began to hesitate and second guess instead of just instinctively having fun and playing at his usual superhuman level.

He just got nervous. A real chance to beat Brady! And win the Superbowl for Philly at last! With his favorite teammates and coach Andy Reid! (Andy Reid is what Joe Paterno pretended to be.)

Donovan McNabb got nervous because only Tom Brady wouldn't get nervous at the thought of facing Brady let alone hoping to beat him in the Superbowl when he was playing top of his game. So Donovan "choked" and made some shit plays at the end there. But up till then he had danced up and down the field vs the Patriots defense and kept up with Brady blow for blow. McNabb was beautiful that day.

Andy Reid was on his game too and against all odds almost lead the Avengers to victory against Brady.

But Brady and Bellicheck with Gronk on his game is absolutely invincible. Just an unstoppable force where you are hoping for a failed 1st down run and and short second to make for a long third and then some kind of miracle stop or on third and long. The best defense was to try and draw fouls. Because you can't stop the guy. You just have to slow him down and hope for one or pray for two bad throws this 3rd down.

Like, third and thirty five was difficult but doable most possessions.

Eagles actually hit that smug father fucker a whole bunch on his way up and down the field. It didn't stop him. But it was hella fun to watch as my team almost beat Brady in his prime, but nothing could ever beat Brady in his prime. Even on his bad days he was nothing short of perfect and intelligent and creative and instinctual that borders on godlike.

I hate his guts and I just don't know why. He seems hella nice. He's too good looking and dates a model but good for him on all of that. I'm happy to see decent guys win the lottery. But I still don't like him. Such is life. I wish him well in everything but football. Get sacked Brady.

But yeah, no body, no matter how well prepared, trained and superhuman can be perfect for the entire Superbowl. You are going to lose some possessions without having scored.

The Eagles were a true Super Bowl team. Any other decade they would have won any Super Bowl against any team outside of the 2000's Patriots. They made every offensive line in the NFL look silly and picked off future hall of famers every other down.

The Lombardi Trophy belonged to Brady back then. Pure and simple. It was just who is going to lose spectacularly in the Super Bowl after playing big fish in a small pond till now.

Eagles almost beat Brady in his prime, but nothing can keep up with a demigod.

I submit that the 2004 Eagles were a feat of genius by Andy

He was able to cobble together a really good team around his star QB and other key players who are all hall of famers now. And I don't know how he snatched up Owens. Owens was amazing. He just had a big mouth and was a showboat. He backed up every boast too and made the greatest future hall of famer DBs miss every single time. And everyone loved it. Except the fucking racist NFL and some pundits.

Andy managed to cobble together this amazing 2004 Eagles team and got them working together even though they didn't like each other at first and help them run together so well that he almost took this army of reject NFL superheroes up against Thanos and won.

He had Donovan Captain America leading the charge. Somehow we had Deadpool with a sharpie up his sleeve carving up the captains of Thanos. And mysterious preternatural undersized Black Panther Westbrook conducting acrobatic feats y'all wouldn't believe today. Even still that man's shit was like watching Black Panther dance around dealing broken ankles and first downs out of third and long every time McNabb got in trouble.

But even the Avengers can't beat 2000s Brady.

Give McNabb and Andy Reid their due respect. They almost did the impossible together. Don't give them such trash about minor little lapses in perfection. You aren't the God of Noah.

You are an Eagles Fan! And you cheered through fucking Buddy Ryan's bullshit. Andy Reid and McNabb almost took down Brady in his prime! You should celebrate that team!

😭😭

NeSpoon is a Polish artist, born in Warsaw, who mixes the delicacy of lace with the roughness and freedom of urban art

I've been ruminating on the Garden of Eden and what was the point of the magic fruit.

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If the Jews wrote a new creation story, why did they keep the horrible original? A perhaps:

i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .

The Blue Fairy is a Chaos Creature

One could blame Geppetto for sending Pinocchio out into the wide world his first day alive without any directions and naught but a sentient cricket to guide him. But that's what you get when you give a one-day old sentient puppet to a half-senile lonely old tinkerer who lives alone with his cat and unnaturally sexy goldfish.

Geppetto did not need a child. Giving him a child was the most irresponsible idea ever. He obviously needed a friend and maybe a caretaker.

The Blue Fairy should have just made Cleo a real woman if she was going to transform anything in that house into a person to help Geppetto. Cleo had truly cared for him for years as he cared for her like she was a regular human stuck in a bowl. And Cleo would have loved him as a friend at least. (We are all weirdly not sure that platonic friendship would be the extent of their relationship.)

Anyway that’s just one idea that is magical and actually would have fixed the old coots problems and saved a one-day old child trauma after trauma which will haunt him for life.

The Blue Fairy is an insane god. Only that could explain her unfathomable motivations for her actions. All of the main characters are victims of a benevolent yet insane incarnate great blue star powerful beyond comprehension or accountability.

much to think about