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How to be a Good Friend

1. Be understanding and supportive when your friend is having a hard time.

2. Be interested and excited when something good has happened to your friend.

3. Don’t be a gossip. Think the best of people; not the worst.

4. Remember that a secret … is a secret … is a secret. Don’t pass on what’s been shared in confidence.

5. Be willing to help friends out.

6. Don’t criticise anything about your friend – his/ her clothes, choices, decisions, boyfriends, girl friends etc

7. Show up at events that you friend has invited you to – birthdays, celebratory meals etc.

8. Encourage your friend to dream and be the best person they can be (then affirm, encourage and believe in them as they seek to become that person.)

How to Never Fall Behind in Classes

Alternatively titled: How to Use Your Planner or How Organization and Discipline Will Get You Better Grades

This is my full guide on how to use your planner effectively and make sure that you are never missing deadlines or falling behind in classwork and homework. This is definitely more about the university level and works best with a dated planner, rather than a bullet journal. Let’s get started! 

Get all of your syllabi together and write down dates. Go through one class at a time and mark down all of your major tests and assignment due dates. I recommend putting these dates into the monthly and weekly views, and perhaps coming up with a symbol or other indicator that tells you they are of utmost importance. 

Make a weekly schedule of when to complete readings and do a weekly review of notes. Instead of trying to randomly decide when to do these things, assign a date for each task for each class. If you have a tutorial on Tuesday, do the assigned readings for it every Wednesday. I recommend scheduling one to two weekly tasks per day, and to leave a few days open, whether it be weekends or days when you have a lot of classes.

Make a master list of assignments. I find that sometimes, even having due dates in the calendar view isn’t enough, and they can still sneak up on you. The master list will be a good place to double check if you have any deadlines approaching easily. 

In the week or so before a due date, create a checklist of smaller tasks needed to complete the assignment. Set individual due dates for each smaller task by working backwards from the due date. Smaller tasks may include finding sources, making an outline, writing a rough draft, and editing and adding references to create a final copy. Write the smaller tasks into your daily to-do list. 

You can also do this with studying for tests, but the checklist would look slightly different. You could either sort by study method (first do flashcards, then do essay outlines, etc.) or sort by the topics you need to study. 

Stick to the schedule you have made. Obviously, if something comes up and you need to move your to-do list around, do so! But if you aren’t doing anything and you see readings on your list of daily tasks.. do them. Having the plan set out like this makes it easier for you to remain disciplined. 

Why use this method? 

By creating a schedule for repeated weekly tasks like completing readings, you make sure that you can’t repeatedly push off smaller tasks until you are weeks behind. I don’t think it is very reliable to just will yourself to do readings, or to keep up with them without tracking it. 

By writing down all of your due dates, you will never be shocked to find out something is due the night before. You will know and you will be prepared. 

By creating smaller checklists of tasks to complete before a major test or assignment, you will never find yourself in a situation where you have an essay due in a few days and haven’t even started. You will be following a timeline and making sure you don’t have to rush.

I know this system may seem rigorous, but planning is the only way you can keep on top of your workload in university! Falling behind is a lot harder if you are organized and disciplined, and being on top of your workload will help you a lot when it comes to exam times… no cramming and all-nighters if you have been consistent all semester! 

Gentle reminder;

Everyone has different sized plates. You might think someone doesn’t have alot on their plate compared to you, but that is not necessarily true ♡

Their plate could be very different from yours. It could be made of flimsy, thin paper instead of ceramic. It could be smaller, even slightly broken or just not be as sturdy as the ceramic plate ♡

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! We just need to remember this instead of judging someone for not “doing as much as other people do/doing as much as society wants them to do”♡

Take this into consideration when you think someone has it “easy” or “don’t do much and get too overwhelmed” compared to you or other people ♡

Many people fight invisible battles everyday. Battles they never describe or discuss with anyone ♡

Always be kind, we can never truly know how someone feels and what they are going through at the moment. Your smile can totally make their day ♡

Friendships In Ancient India Through Subhashits

आतुरे व्यसने प्राप्ते दुर्भिक्षे शत्रु संकटे।

राजद्वारे श्वशाने च यस्तिष्ठति स वान्धवः।।

The real friend is the one who stays in the court and in the crematorium when he is sick, in trouble, in famine, when he is endangered by the enemy.

विवादो धनसम्बन्धो याचनं चातिभाषणम्।

आदानामग्रतः स्थानं मैत्रीभङ्गस्य हेतवः।।

Quarrels, financial relations, taking loans, incessant chatting and desire for unwanted competitions are the reasons for destroyed friendships.

आढ् यतो वापि दरिद्रो वा दुःखित सुखितोऽपिवा ।

निर्दोषश्च सदोषश्च व्यस्यः परमा गतिः ॥

Rich or poor, grieving or joyful, innocent or bastard; A friend is the biggest supporter of the man.

चन्दनं शीतलं लोके ,चन्दनादपि चन्द्रमाः |

चन्द्रचन्दनयोर्मध्ये शीतला साधुसंगतिः ||

Chandan (sandalwood) has the most cooling properties in this world; The moon, however, is more cooler than chandan. In actuality, it is the company of good friends that is the most soothing.

महाजनस्य संसर्गः कस्य नोन्नतिकारकः।

पद्मपत्रस्थितं वारि धत्ते मुक्ताफलश्रियम्॥

Just like a drop of water that falls on a lotus gains the status of a pearl, company of good friends elevates the value of a person.

आपत्काले तु संप्राप्ते यन्मित्रं मित्रमेव तत् |

वृद्धिकाले तु संप्राप्ते दुर्जनोSपि सुहृद्भवेत् ||

A friend in need is a friend indeed. Even an evil person can befriend anyone during prosperous times but it takes a real friend to honor the friendship during difficult times.

सर्वथा सुकरं मित्रं दुष्करं परिपालनम् l

अनित्यत्वात्तु चित्तानां मतिरल्पेऽपि भिद्यते ll

It's pretty easy to earn friendships but difficult to keep them. The human mind is transient and even some petty conflicts can be the reason to end the friendships.

न सुहृद्यो विपन्नार्था दिनमभ्युपपद्यते।

स बन्धुर्योअपनीतेषु सहाय्यायोपकल्पते॥

A good friend helps a friend in fatality and brings back the friend on the right path (if he has strayed away from the path of goodness).

गुणवान् व परजनः स्वजनो निर्गुणोऽपि वा।

निर्गुणः स्वजनः श्रेयान् यः परः पर एव सः॥

A loved one without merit is better than a stranger with merits.

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Leaving Abuse: How It Feels, How to Do It, and How to Get Through It.

How It Feels

Being in an abusive relationship is like trying to hold the ocean in a fishbowl, and feeling guilty when it cracks. Leaving is like drinking the water. It’s nasty and overwhelming. Part of you feels like you won’t be able to survive it, and when you do you still feel it in your stomach for days to come, but at least you’re not holding it anymore. Eventually, it will become diluted by everything else in your life, and all that will be left is the pain that comes from the knowledge of what you once tried to hold, and the after-effects of the scaring the salt water left on the lining of your stomach.

It’s messy, and it’s painful. It will be one of the ugliest things you’ll ever go through, but in the end, you’ll be proud of yourself for making it through. You may not even know until you decide to leave that it counts as abuse. It can be a lot like sitting blindfolded, as your house burns around you. There is a period, when you think the smoke is just bad cooking, but then you feel the fire.

How to Do It

From emotional to physical abuse, the emotions and recovery tend to ring the same, but if you live with your abuser, the first initial steps will be different.

If you live with your abuser, it’s best to make a plan to leave, including where you will be staying after (whether it be a friend’s house or shelter). If your abuser is physically violent, you may want to pack in secret. Take any personal belongs, and important documents such as school records, birth certificates, etc. One way to do this more discreetly would be to…

CONTINUE READING HERE

7 Ways to be More Productive with Less Effort

1.Sort out your priorities. Make time to honestly reflect on your life, and to think about what is important to you. Where are you going? What do you want? What are the steps that will take you there?

2. Focus on the essential tasks. Next, think about your short term responsibilities. Ask yourself: “Out of all the tasks that I have to do, which will get me the greatest return for my time and effort?” Make a list of these types of tasks — they’re your most important things to do this week.

3. Eliminate what you can. Now look at your list. What on the list is not essential? Is there anything there that you can drop from your schedule, delegate to someone else, or put on a “waiting list”. Often when we review these non-essentials later, we find they weren’t necessary at all.

4. Do essential tasks first. Begin each day by doing the two most important tasks. Don’t wait until later in the day as they’ll get pushed aside to make time for other stuff that arises throughout the day. You’ll find that if you do these tasks right away, your productivity will really increase.

5. Eliminate distractions. If you allow yourself to be constantly interrupted by email notifications, IM, cell phones, social media and so on, then you’ll never be productive. Turn them and, if you can, disconnect yourself from the internet.

6. Keep it simple. Don’t waste time on applications that are meant to organise your schedule. Make a simple to-do list with a word document, or with some paper and a pen. Then get started on whatever work you had planned on doing.

7. Do one thing at a time. In most situations, multi-tasking slows you down. You can’t get things done with a million things demanding your attention. Focus on what’s in front of you, to the exclusion of all else. That way, you are likely to achieve more, in less time, and with less effort.

Mind-Reading: Avoid This Common Trap to Improve Your Communication Skills

In psychology, “mind-reading” is when we try to infer what is going on in someone’s mind without asking them to clarify. It’s a common trap in relationships that often leads to miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Click here to learn more!

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