Everybody Driving A Car Thinks They're The Main Character Of The Car. This Is An Ideologically Bourgeois

being alive is just so unfathomably cool cant believe im about to go for a trot around the block. WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN THERES A WHOLE BLOCK TO EXPLORE WITH SQUIRRELS AND BIRDS ARE YOU KIDDING ME? every dang day we are blessed with this. wow

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

you know what I needed today? Tookaverse shenanigans

Hottest people in the GFFA actually

(Sound on.) We’re all doomed.

doodling as I wait for my chicken to air fry

the fandom making fox an overworked and unpaid government worker has given more empathy to the character than anyone could imagine