Eccentricechoes - Sunshine

I'll always be a wanderer

Exploring where I really shouldn't go

Both mental and physical places

I find that I just have to know

What is really out there

How things work, and why

Even when I don't actually want answers

Even when it makes me cry

My beloved little pigeons, so simple, so pure

I think of you every waking moment, you're all that I adore

You're feathers, a pleasant grey, and I have to say, they make me love you even more

My pleasant little pigeons, I hope you get far as you soar

Ferdinand von Wright (Finnish, 1822–1906), "From the Garden: Flowers and Birds" (detail)

Do you ever just want to curl up in a little ball and do nothing?

Sometimes, I worry that my mental health will never get better, not because I'm incapable of improving, but because being not okay has become a part of my identity. I've spent so much of my life being anxious and depressed that I'm scared of learning who I am outside of that; Even though I know my life would be far more fulfilling as I continue to get better.

I take everything showers when I can't sleep at night

I could be in there for hours, and still not feel right

And so I'll cry myself to sleep, or stay up to see the sun

Cause no matter how I scrub the dirt, it's like I've gotten off none

I'm a mess, my life's a mess, why can't I wash it away?

If I never feel clean, then there must be a better way

I need to take a piss, brb

Can you hear the music?