2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam
The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other puts his ear to the door to listen. The professor begins asking the question:
“You are riding in a train cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”
The student replies “I open the window.”
“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for new air to replace the old air in the cart?”
The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.
He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do?
He says “I take my jacket off.”
“Ok. But its still too hot. What do you do?”
“I take my shirt off.”
“I understand but its very, very hot.”
“I will just get naked.”
“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard on by watching you strip naked!”
The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”
My husband is playing DnD with some friends and told me to come look at the cat who is sitting in a chair like a person. My husband handed him a d20 and said “sir you have to roll a stealth check to convince the other party members you are a human” and the cat immediately batted the d20 and rolled a 14. The party cheered for him.
Sabiá-laranjeira/Rufous-bellied Thrush
Turdus rufiventris
what is it about clair de lune that goes so hard he really put his whole debussy in making that huh
horses made me transgender
if a wizard cast a spell at me i would just catch it in my mouth and swallow it all perfectly
In Green Company: Aurora over Norway : Raise your arms if you see an aurora. With those instructions, two nights went by with, well, clouds – mostly. On the third night of returning to same peaks, though, the sky not only cleared up but lit up with a spectacular auroral display. Arms went high in the air, patience and experience paid off, and the creative featured image was captured as a composite from three separate exposures. The setting is a summit of the Austnesfjorden fjord close to the town of Svolvear on the Lofoten islands in northern Norway. The time was early 2014. Although our Sun has just passed the solar minimum of its 11-year cycle, surface activity should pick up over the next few years with the promise of triggering more spectacular auroras on Earth. via NASA
Trail of the Returner : Familiar stars of a northern winter’s night shine in this night skyview, taken near Zhangye, Gansu, China and the border with Inner Mongolia. During the early hours of December 17 Orion is near center in the single exposure that captures a fireball streaking across the sky, almost as bright as yellowish Mars shining on the right. Splitting Gemini’s twin bright stars Castor and Pollux near the top of the frame, the fireball’s trail and timing are consistent with the second skipping atmospheric entry of the Chang'e 5 mission’s returner capsule. The returner capsule was successfully recovered after landing in Inner Mongolia, planet Earth with about 2 kilograms of lunar material on board. The lunar sample is thought to contain relatively young material collected near the Mons Rumker region of the Moon’s Oceanus Procellarum. Launched on November 23 UT, China’s Chang'e 5 mission is the first lunar sample return mission since the Soviet Union’s Luna 24 mission in 1976. via NASA
Hello! You take requests, right? Please ignore this if I'm mistaken. I'd love to see some good green heron faces, though. Ever since I saw this image ((c) Larry Jordan, The Birder's Report) I've been in love.
ohhh i do take requests and i love them !!
© Gregg Petersen
© Richard Lachance
© John Diener
© Forest Jarvis
© Alejandra Pons
oh but don't worry...
i saved the best for last...
cause i know the angle you REALLY wanted is...
© Mikael Behrens
ardeidae buddies @unironic-memes