Pretending I Don't Care About Becoming A Vampire So That It Happens Faster

ok blackbonnet au where newly divorced stede moves into a divorced guy apartment complex and he’s super helpless bc he’s never lived by himself and he’s soooooo stupid ❤️ and he meets lucius who takes pity on this sweet dumb idiot and takes stede clubbing so stede can have some fun ! let off some steam and grind on strangers !!

and stede is wary but ppl do have fun rave outfits and fun drinks and then he sees ed dancing on the bar full coyote ugly style taking shots and stede’s thirst is Activated so lucius pushes him to the bar and ed feeds stede a shot ;-;

and he dances with ed all night long and ed tries so hard to take him home but stede is a Gentlemen thank u and asks ed on a proper date

by chilin20278

Merry Christmas yall

if ed doesn’t kiss stede on his sweet nose and then give him a little boop i think i will die

What a sight for sore eyes

screen cap/edit by @sherlockig

A convoluted penis enlargement negotiation with a djinn can be sooooo romantic actually

Stede's outfits as butterflies

Guys! Come quick! I've found something! Dryocampa Rubicunda, or the candied melon silk moth. A very rare specimen. See? We're already finding stuff.

Ma'am???

I want Guillermo to hunt down and brutally murder Nandor. I want Guillermo to ignore him forever, he’s not even worth mentioning and for that to slowly drive Nador insane. BEGGING on his knees for even a glance in his direction. I want Nandor to realize how in love he is and how fucked he made the situation and to slowly dissolve with the guilt and pressure of trying to fix what he can’t. I want them to have gay sex on screen