Empyrean01 - Empyrean🍒

Sandra Cisneros, In an Interview with Krista Tippett

Some days I need you more than others,

days when I don’t feel like myself and

I have forgotten my name and 

why I keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

These days I wish you could just hold me, 

just hold me in your arms tight, 

center me and be my light. 

Be the warmth that keeps away the infinite cold,

that I feel chills me to the bone.

Hold me in these days when I am not strong,

when I am but a muted shadow of myself 

when I need a reason to hold on.

I don't know if I am being selfish,

but I just tell you what I must, 

what I feel deep inside my heart and

I need you so much every day of my life, 

but these days I need you most,

to remember I am worth loving and fighting for. 

e.v.e.

“you’ve relied on time to heal your wounds, but time alone isn’t enough. i hope you learn to hold yourself accountable by practicing what is right for you even if it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar. i hope you adopt a habit of consistency when it comes to how you treat yourself.”

— iambrillyant

Purpose

There’s a certain life I envision for myself

Often times I lose sight of it

I forget it

I come back to reality, neglecting my beloved dreamer self, the Pisces moon in me

I am a dreamer

An enthusiastic one

Often times I get lost in my own enthusiasm

In my passions and aspirations

In my love for self

A love for self that has taken years of mastery and of which is a constant work in progress

I want to live a life of serving my higher self and the universe itself

This excites me like nothing else ever has

This is not to say I don’t fear it’s unraveling and the mere thought of it not becoming a reality

This fear stems from limiting beliefs

But God, do I promise myself to not make the mistakes I witness others making

Neglecting thyselves to live their own lives through the image of others

God forbid !

I choose me. And I vow to always choose me.

Deep down the core within this big heart of mine lies an unhealed wound that when touched aches as if it was stabbed a million times right at that moment but that’s not what’s peculiar about it, the fact that the pain seems to satisfy my soul is what’s peculiar. When the pain comes, it’s like a reuniting with a long lost friend. I welcome it with all my might.

My heart

— an anonymous woman on coming to terms with being a lesbian in the 1950’s-60’s, from an interview with Deborah Goleman Wolf

— Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a letter to Arthur Davison Ficke featured in Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay.

“Come alive in my eyes of lost infinities.”

—

I dream of...

I dream of the empty tunnels within the earth,

where once worms lived but now only their corpses lay in the poisoned dirt. 

I dream that the sick earth gives away beneath our feet, that mankind slips down passing our equally sickened history as we go. 

I dream there are trees forever preserved in plastic, bones of fish that twist in deformation, the hornless rhinos mouths are still wide in pain and in their blank eye sockets remains fear, small bones lay next to big ones. 

 Finally, we reach our ancestors alongside the mammoths they slew,

 the only genuinely recognizable corpses. 

I dream that we never hit the end, our bodies fall upwards as we pass our mistakes, our triumphs are few and far between. 

Then I wake up. 

I stand on the dirt that I dreamt of, waiting for the human race’s sins to pull me down. 

I feel nothing but the worms digging beneath my feet, I do not feel the waxy plastic or the sharp bones of fish,

but it is then I realize I’m still dreaming.