Empyrean01 - Empyrean🍒

Insufficient

I loved you. maybe still do, who knows? maybe it hurts me to think I still love and care for you when the feeling may or may not be mutual on your side.

It hurts to know I gave you my all for the time it lasted, I poured all my love and affection to you as you undoubtedly continued to mourn for her. was I not enough? what was it she had and I didn't ? was my smile not attractive enough? was my hair not long enough? all I wanted was to enjoy sleepless nights in your embrace but I guess that was not in your plans. the effort was way too much for you to put in. does it even hurt you that we're no longer one. does my absence not affect you? was it even real... I mean what we had was it real? or was it merely a distraction for you to forget her? I guess I'll never know.

Daydreams

I want to go on spontaneous adventures with you in all the possible places in this beautiful world of ours. I want to climb mountains in the Gaiain alps with you far far away where we will be completely out of reach. Why is it that your presence is the one I crave the most? everywhere I go, all I crave is for you to be there with me. I want to wake up at 4 am with you as its you I'm besotted by. With you I want to drive down to the beach and watch the sun rise and shine its rays into those heavenly eyes of yours which never seize to enchant me. Just me, you, and the ocean. I want to sit on top of the roof in your embrace, and reminisce about the memories I miss and wish I could relive. I want to listen to you talk for hours and hour about the things you love, the things that make you happy, your dreams and aspirations. I want to hear all the things that make you feel uneasy. I want to have such a strong bond that nothing but truth flows out of our mouths. I want to be able to shower you with all the love you deserve, treat you like the most precious gem that you are, and be nothing but devoted to you.

Excerpt from my thoughts

4AM THOUGHTS

feeling very inspired right now. I woke up at 3am randomly but i remembered that i hadn’t listened to Meek Mill’s new album yet so i got out of bed (while trying not to wake my daughter) and went to the bathroom to listen. and i listened to every word all the way thru and it left me inspired writing this at 4am. I also read this article about things i should avoid as an aspiring artist and i realized i do 3 out of the 5 things. Holding my work hostage, Not Being social enough, and finishing my Art halfway and then abandoning it. I gotta work on these things.

The whole “being social” thing was never my thing but lately i have been making attempts to do so, sometimes i’m left disappointed and others i am left surprised! It’s cool when you meet another creative who can relate to most of the things you go thru. As Far as finishing my Art goes.. i tend to not finish my art when someone doesn’t feel the same way about it as i do. I tell myself “ok well this isn’t worth anymore of my time, thank you.. next” (lol i like that song) And then i start on something new and repeat the same thing. Fun fact tho… i remember playing “Don’t” for like 5 people before it came out and nobody liked it how i liked it. So i deleted it from soundcloud. lol Shit as a matter of fact i remember when i played my first album Trapsoul to Fader and a couple of other Blogs or whatever and it was straight crickets in the room. 🦗🦗🦗i was like wow this shit is trash lol

Anyway, i know this is getting kinda lengthy but i say all of that to say this… believe in your “trash”.

Ok 4am Thoughts end now, gotta take Harley to school in a few hours. 💤💤💤

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