Thinking About The EMT I Used To Know That Was A Former Marine, Went To Afghanistan And When He Came

Today's vibe is fantasizing about kidnapping your coworkers and forcing them to watch several hundred hours of cross-contamination prevention seminars

Me, looking through the worms I dug up:

"Alright, only one of you can crawl into my ear canal and you better get me put in charge of the board of health after"

Every now and then I have to gently explain to a nurse that the reason I can't ignore a patient's refusal for transport is that I would prefer not to go to jail for kidnapping.

One of the more difficult things to deal with as a patient advocate is that for some reason the hospitals and staff are usually not very happy when you have to advocate for the patient. Hmm.

Me: okay, so imagine for a moment... That the monitor is your patient, ok?

Trainee: okay...

Me: so, the wires for the leads are kind of like your spinal cord. The spine can bend a little bit, but it usual only wants to bend one way, and you don't want it to bend too much or get pinched, right?

Trainee: I... Sure?

Me: Right Right, so... The way you wrapped these leads... If this monitor were a patient, I'd be checking for a priapism.

Maybe in your district. I'd love to hear this person's jokes.

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

Incredibly valid tags

"Wow you've been really quiet today, you must have had a lot of runs huh?"

"haha yeah it's been uh. It's been a day."

"you took a nap on the bench seat again huh?"

"yeah... Yeah I did."

Hey everyone, I'm Cece

I finally got around to making a blog for EMS related posts. Read the pinned carefully as some of our menu options have changed or whatever

If this is a medical emergency, please stop doomscrolling my blog and dial the emergency service number for your country

I am an Emergency Medical Technician that mostly deals with interfacility transfers. Most of what I do is critical care, but sometimes I do other stuff.

The purpose of this blog is mostly to post funny haha stuff, but I'll try to keep things educational as well.

That said, I am also going to keep things HIPAA friendly, so don't expect anything that would have sensitive info. Sorry guys, no war stories.

FAQ

Q: Is the Trans stuff really necessary?

A: yes

Q: I'm dealing with pain/coughing/vomiting blood/insert symptoms here. What do I do?

A: I am not authorized to diagnose you or give medical advice over the Internet. Please call your doctor if you have one. Otherwise go to an urgent care or an ER.

Q: Can I send you a story about an experience I had as a patient?

A: I'll accept submissions like this at my discretion as long as they don't include any identifying information

Q: Can I send you a story about an experience I had as a provider?

A: As long as it's not something violating someone's privacy rights or belittling anyone, then I'll handle these on a case by case basis

I'll update the FAQ as I think of more questions. If you want to ask me something that isn't related to EMS you can find me on my main @hippieghost

The amount of times I have to remind coworkers to wear GLOVES with patients is way too high

stupid fucking coworker ass meme posted in the work group chat BUT!!!!!!!! it made me do a laugh.

In honor of my new follower whose first post is about getting wanting to get choked I'm happy to say that this blog is kink friendly.

Friendly reminder to stay hydrated and keep up your electrolytes when you're getting railed, and if you can't fit two fingers under the rope then the rope is too tight. 💜

In EMS the most common crime I see (in hospitals and the field) is documentation related. Specifically when the EMT or nurse writes "18" for patient respiratory rate in the patient chart.

Seeing y'all's responses to the "are your relatives criminals" poll is cracking me up.

Criminality isn't a matter of getting arrested or convicted, or a particularly good marker of morality.

Depending on where you are, crossing the street wrong is a crime. If you're American and you've ever picked up a feather, you have probably committed a federal offense.

Not even gonna get into the fact that homosexuality is still a crime in places.

The point is that you're probably all criminals.