Somebody Probably Said This 50 Years Ago When The Show Was On Air But The Running Gag Of People Getting

If it meant saving his life, I’d be willing to be wrong all the time.

Little Joe Cartwright + Menace to Society

s1:e21 - Company Man

Y'all, this is the episode for angsty Jess expressions. And Slim looks so beautiful in these shots, too. ❤️💙

Long story short, a new stage line superintendent, Jack Slade (excellent character name, btw) shows up to fire Jess due to his "history". Slim of course jumps in to defend him, which leads to this hilarious exchange:

JH - "Thanks, Slim." SS - "Don't thank me. The privilege of firing you belongs to me, and nobody else."

Unfortunately, Slade won't be deterred, and hangs around for the entire episode, assisting with getting back their stage line horses from thieves who struck the night before.

One of my favorite conversations between Slim and Jess happens in this episode. Jess is brooding in their bedroom and Slim comes in to see what's going on. Slim gets straight to the root of the issue: Jess isn't worried about being killed by Slade, despite Slade's reputation. He's worried about killing Slade and bringing the ire of the stage line down on Slim.

SS - "This place wouldn't be the same without you and your troubles." JH - "You really mean that?" SS - "Yes, I really mean that."

At the end of the episode, Slade endangers the entire household in a standoff with the horse thieves, but fortunately everyone is OK except for Slade. He thanks Jess for his service to the stage line before dying, so we get kind of a mini-redemption thing and almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

P.S.: It's worth noting that a fictionalized Samuel Clemens (yes, Mark Twain) is a stage passenger in this episode, and gets some fun snarky dialogue, especially with Slade.

Laramie (1959-1963): The Confederate Express S03E18

Adam is the founder of “goth” if you ask me ….

So I’ve watched a good chunk of seasons 3 and 4 of Laramie as well as a few from season 1 and I am now gonna make it all yall’s problem and bless you with my commentary and clips from each episode, enjoy I guess 😂

Without further ado, S1.EP1 Stage Stop

Not the outlaw being upset they spelled his name wrong in the newspaper 😂

Jess’s introduction to Laramie was absolutely terrible, poor guy just got shot at. Absolutely love how he just ignored the lawman when he was told to stop though, a very Jess thing to do 🤣

Jess and Slim’s first meeting is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Let’s take a look at it, shall we?

I mean the first shot alone where they show the sign “Sherman Ranch, No Trespassing” and then cut to Jess just lounging around like he owns the place 😂 

And the dialogue:

Slim: What’re you doing here?

Jess: Gettin’ a crick in my back!

Plus this gem:

Jess: I had 3 or 4 swallows out of your private stream. My horse helped himself too, so you just figure out what I owe you, and I’ll be on my way. Oh, and uh, I looked at a bird flying over. Will there be a charge for that?

Look Jess I love you so much but who gave you the right to be so freaking sassy 😂 (we adore him for it though) but Slim had valid concerns, I see both sides of the situation here. I mean Jess, you should’ve read the sign, and I can see why Slim is wary of strangers, but I too would be ticked off if someone just showed up and was holding me at gunpoint

Not Jess just sending Slim flying 😂 boy don’t mess around

Overall I think this first meeting went really well you guys

Andy is so flipping adorable and I would die for him, the way he just gets along so well with Jess right off the bat 😭 10x funnier that he’s Slim’s brother though 🤣

Look at the racoon! And the way Andy washed his food for him 🥺 it's so cute how this little gesture shows how much he knows about animals and how much he cares for them

When Jess dozed off and Andy came in and startled him and he just whipped around with his gun and when he realized it was Andy and he was so apologetic 😭 but just gets me thinking about Jess being a loner and a drifter and being so used to looking out for himself yet still being so compassionate to this kid he just met. He’s so good with kids and I think it’s just darling seeing him interact with Andy and later on Mike.

Ugh I’m having so many Thoughts on Jess’s childhood, of course they are of the angsty variety, all prompted by these lines of dialogue (putting them in different colors so it's easier to differentiate between them):

Andy: Jess, how old were you when you first went out on your own?

Jess: Can’t hardly remember when I wasn’t on my own, like Jeremiah here and Sam. Only I didn’t find a soft touch like you. Maybe I didn’t want one. 

Andy: Do you like it better alone?

Jess: It just worked out that way.

Andy: Don’t you get lonely sometimes?

Jess: You get used to it.

As if these lines weren't heart breaking enough, Jess's tone of voice and facial expressions just really added to it. Yes there will be fics in the future no I do not need more wips

Jess had a fractured skull you say?? *adds to list of details to keep in mind for later*

Look at them playing cards together <3 yes I totally get that Andy's complete and total willingness to trust anyone who comes along is a bit concerning but it's also so sweet and I just love how he interacts with Jess

The way Andy was just working up the courage to ask Jess to take him with him and Jess being so gentle and telling him maybe when he’s older their relationship is everything you guys 😭

I know at times Slim seems a little harsh on Andy but he really just wants the best for him and it’s sweet. 

Love how Jonesy just deescalates the situation so smoothly and just calmly drags Slim away 😂

I’ve noticed that Jess gets called saddle tramp an awful lot so I’m starting a running count, we are currently at 1

Jonesy saying Slim is just a kid is just… it’s kinda funny but at the same time - how do I want to explain this? - like Slim is out here saying Andy needs to get things figured out, needs to become a better judge of character, and then Jonesy is just like “you’re figuring things out too pally. you’re responsible for your kid brother now and you still got some things to learn” You can see that Jonesy knows Slim really well and I love their dynamic

Jess was so ready to end Slim right then and there 😂 what can I say, I like my men violent 🤣 seriously tho the fact that Jess and Slim were just constantly beating each other up throughout this entire episode before they decided to try running a ranch together is the funniest thing

Everything about Bud Carlin irritates me, the way he speaks, the way he moves, his whole demeanor, I just hate it 😂

When Carlin’s asking about how long it takes the stage to get there once it’s in sight and Jonesy’s just out here throwing in a bunch of random circumstances to avoid answering 🤣 and then Carlin gets so irritated that he decides to ask Jess instead lol but Andy just immediately telling him what he wants to know so Jess doesn’t get hurt 😭 bless his little heart AND JONESY REACHING HIS ARM OUT TO GRAB THE GUY WHEN HE WENT TO PUNCH JESS Jonesy's a real one

When Jess and Andy are out in the barn shoeing the horse and Andy tries to grab a rifle and Jess stops him cuz he didn’t want him to get hurt 😭

Oh when Carlin makes Jess punch Slim in the face… like we know they were about to go at it when he walked in but now Jess is like no way, the friendship is progressing you guys, and poor Slim was just like "do it", somebody get this poor man some ice and an ibuprofen

But as soon as Carlin makes Jess hit Slim that third time he turned on Carlin so fast

Andy’s voice was almost breaking when he saw Slim laying on the ground and he was trying to wake him up and it almost broke me 😭

The way they all go to check on Slim as soon as the guy leaves the room 🥺

Andy was just begging Jess to go with Slim so that he’d have some help and Jess wouldn’t go and then Andy has tears in his eyes and says “No wonder you travel alone, who’d wanna team up with a saddle tramp like you?” nooooooo 😭 I really act like I’ve never seen this episode before also Jess saddle tramp count is now at 2

They really just threw that guy out of the stagecoach, that wasn’t very nice

JESS CAME BACK yes I already knew this would happen, hush your timing is impeccable pally

Look at these idiots (affectionate) 😂

Alright I'm gonna write out this scene for you because Reasons (once again in color so it's easier to differentiate):

Pete: I’m hurt bad, Jess. Don’t shoot.

Jess: I was hurt bad too. And it wasn’t just the money Pete.

Pete: I didn’t take it Jess. I swear I didn’t

*Pete proceeds to grab for his gun and Jess shoots him again, sending him flying off the cliff*

So satisfying yall also that dialogue though, I sense another fic in the future

Not the fanning of the guns, ugh I hate when they do that and Jess does it all the time

I love how Jess just puts his gun away and lets Slim deal with Carlin on his own, the way he just saunters over while they’re fist fighting and the way they replay the bit Carlin pulled on them when he made Jess hit Slim, sheer perfection 🤣

Aw Andy was so excited to see Jess and Slim back safely 🥺

Friendship has been established pallies, that is what we call ✨character development✨

Also if you haven’t noticed I’m a tad bit obsessed with Jess ok maybe more than a tad so here’s some bonus gifs of him being sassy 😂❤️

Jess Harper + Assorted Text Posts (Part 2)

Dedicated to @forsty for the first two images!!

#feral Jess Harper is my favourite kind

Obsessed with Jess Harper’s inability to hold eye contact. That man is Feral.

They mean so much to me your honor

how thirsty am I allowed to be for a man from 60 years ago? also this is a family show from 1959??????? excuse me?