This Is So True!

Never thought about it like that

Had to repost this is soooo me

Facts

This year has been so stressful, draining, and long! My best friend has completely wrote me out of his life. After everything we’ve been through, I’m lost. I feel so hurt, and abandoned. I tried working things out with my ex, even tho I knew it was a bad idea I still went with it, like every other time, seems like we callin back into the same routines. Idk, I’m 6 feet from the edge, somethings has to give, I’m so tired of being good to others just to have them make me feel like I don’t mean shit...

Toughen up buttercup... I remind myself of this from time to time!

Damn, that’s how I feel, frfr.

“I don’t just want words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

I feel so stupid. I’m not happy, and haven’t been for so long now. He steadily tells me he’s not trying and he is an asshole on purpose and he can’t tell me what I’ve done to cause this he just says he knows that I’m lying, I need some real advice. I love him, and we have been through a lot. I’ve not cheated on him but he cheated on me. Of course it was my fault because of what I was doing he says and I take care of my mother, that’s my job. So I’ve been trying to get approved to get paid since I can no longer work, it’s been a long hard rd, so I do not what I can on her good days to make some money, I shouldn’t but I smoke cigs, I’m female so I have certain things that my moms check can’t cover nor would I let her pay my way, she worked a couple of jobs 3 at one time if I remember correctly during my high school years so she deserves her check to be and do for her, so , I clean a house boat periodically, or a house/apartments, a couple of businesses, when they call, and I’m able to do so. And my work hours are never 8-5, it’s always random and it has to be that way. We discussed this before we got back together this last time, somewhere along the way he got upset, and just assuming I knew he was bothered he told everyone except me by the time I realized I was hearing about him cheating and I still have not wronged him but he doesn’t believe me. I feel like this has been a couple of years now and I feel like I’m still paying for it! He goes from hot to cold. I feel like I walk on eggshells the better I try and be he stays his same asshole. I know deep down that I don’t deserve this but I continue to allow it and take it when I try to get him to move out he always ends up staying and still the same. What is he trying to do to me is he torturing me on purpose…. I can’t win. He knows that I love him, I do any and everything that I can for him and it’s never appreciated or acknowledged really and I’m lonely. I begged him to just please move out. Be done with me if I’m so bad. I can’t take living like this and he kinda changes up a little and just when I think we might make it, he just stops coming to the bed to sleep and starts his attitude like I basically can’t speak to him until he does me without him snapping, and guy he sounds like a monster kinda from what I’m saying but as far as a person or friend goes he’s amazing but it’s like he gets back with me and I’m the worst enemy. I stay so confused and I’ve got some personal things going that I’m tryin to get worked out so I’ve been sick for about 2 months and idk I just don’t know what to do anymore any words of advice or ideas HELP THIS IS BREAKING ME

How did we go from that to this...

I can’t speak to him without frustrating him. I feel like he absolutely hates me at times. I really wanted this to work. I’m tired of being called a bitch, or bring told that I’m bitching, I am a very passionate person, but when someone Fucks with my heart, then I am a bitch. So if I’ve been a bitch to him at all then he’s been fuckin with my heart. It doesn’t have to be like this, but he’s about to get what he has been giving. Then he can call me a bitch……