Eroticdragonfly - EroticDragonfly

I always say, “it’s the little things!

“It’s nice when someone remembers small details about you.”

—

Unknown

(via resqectable)

Damn, I just want to forget about him, us, forget that I ever met him! He did the ultimate deal breaker, it’s got to be over, dude were you even my friend, cause with friends like that I damn sure don’t need any enemies.... smh

Idk what to do! I need to figure so many things out. Time is flying by, I want happiness for the both of us wether it’s together or not

Had to repost! I tried so hard to go forward with him.... we just can’t seem to get it together!

“We can’t go backward. There are too many regrets. Please just move forward with me?”

— Renee Carlino, Swear on This Life: A Novel

I feel so stupid. I’m not happy, and haven’t been for so long now. He steadily tells me he’s not trying and he is an asshole on purpose and he can’t tell me what I’ve done to cause this he just says he knows that I’m lying, I need some real advice. I love him, and we have been through a lot. I’ve not cheated on him but he cheated on me. Of course it was my fault because of what I was doing he says and I take care of my mother, that’s my job. So I’ve been trying to get approved to get paid since I can no longer work, it’s been a long hard rd, so I do not what I can on her good days to make some money, I shouldn’t but I smoke cigs, I’m female so I have certain things that my moms check can’t cover nor would I let her pay my way, she worked a couple of jobs 3 at one time if I remember correctly during my high school years so she deserves her check to be and do for her, so , I clean a house boat periodically, or a house/apartments, a couple of businesses, when they call, and I’m able to do so. And my work hours are never 8-5, it’s always random and it has to be that way. We discussed this before we got back together this last time, somewhere along the way he got upset, and just assuming I knew he was bothered he told everyone except me by the time I realized I was hearing about him cheating and I still have not wronged him but he doesn’t believe me. I feel like this has been a couple of years now and I feel like I’m still paying for it! He goes from hot to cold. I feel like I walk on eggshells the better I try and be he stays his same asshole. I know deep down that I don’t deserve this but I continue to allow it and take it when I try to get him to move out he always ends up staying and still the same. What is he trying to do to me is he torturing me on purpose…. I can’t win. He knows that I love him, I do any and everything that I can for him and it’s never appreciated or acknowledged really and I’m lonely. I begged him to just please move out. Be done with me if I’m so bad. I can’t take living like this and he kinda changes up a little and just when I think we might make it, he just stops coming to the bed to sleep and starts his attitude like I basically can’t speak to him until he does me without him snapping, and guy he sounds like a monster kinda from what I’m saying but as far as a person or friend goes he’s amazing but it’s like he gets back with me and I’m the worst enemy. I stay so confused and I’ve got some personal things going that I’m tryin to get worked out so I’ve been sick for about 2 months and idk I just don’t know what to do anymore any words of advice or ideas HELP THIS IS BREAKING ME

I waisted so much time with him. He’s so ugly to me all the time. I’ve told him over and over to just tell me if this is over and then we can maybe one day be friends… I am hurt so bad, and he could care less! I want to let go.

How am I ever gonna be just your friend?

Mental health is real, and it suck if someone plays on that. It’s confusing, painful, hurtful, and just wrong. Playing on someone’s mental health is a form of abuse. I don’t understand how people can be so cold and calculating. I don’t want to change who I am. I’m loving, understanding, loyal, and I take pride in my relationships. Lately my husband throws things at me that I no longer do or that I’ve worked on yet I still have to pay for it. I pay for loving him. If I don’t have what he needs then he doesn’t need me. I’m one in the chamber away from being done. But I do believe in God, I don’t believe in suicide I’ve always thought of it as selfish and cowardly but I no longer feel that way. I don’t know what to do anymore. No matter what I do I can’t make him want me. He has betrayed me in the worst way yet here I am, all he has to say is I want, I need, can you, and I do. I shove everything down and do what he asked. I’m about to explode, I don’t know what is real anymore. He confuses me and gets off on my pain and confusion. How do you do that to the one that you love. I wish that I could take my feelings for him and put them in a sealed container and forget it all, imagine that I can’t remember yesterday but I remember every ounce of pain he has caused me. It’s sucks I have memory issues per the doctor. So my memory stays so messed up and it gets used against me daily. He is torturing me, and most hurtful of all, he enjoys this and tells me daily I’m the problem. Im the reason he hurts me and doesn’t care about hurting me. So I beg him to go and he knows I can’t make him so he just ignores me or comes and goes as he pleases. Im about to break. Im not evil but he can bring that out in me. Why, if he doesn’t want me, why not let me go, why torture me….. I don’t know how much more I can take.