Name Them

I'm sorry, but I can't be the only one who reads Double Life like one of those cheesy dating shows!

You know the ones: they randomly pair people together as "soulmates," and the rest of the season is just petty relationship drama. We've got the "secret soulmates" trope, the awkward divorce squad, and unnecessary pettiness galore.

Am I the only one who sees it?

congrats to me I guess

Congratulations to me for having "Bop" as my #1 listened to song on Spotify Wrapped, and to elybeatmaker for being one of my top 3 artists.

"Gay people, we love Pearl right?" Geminitay -2025

look who I found!

Congrats! You’ve spotted a Skizzleman out in the wild! Now what will you do?

Hermitcraft/life series incorrect quotes

Scot: Can I have some water?  Joel: *starts chugging their water bottle*  Joel: *chokes from drinking too fast*  Joel: *spills water all over themself*  Joel, coughing: I don't have any water.

Scar: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-  Cleo: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

Grian: Act natural.  Mumbo: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.  Grian: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day!  Mumbo: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic.  Grian: Will you just cooperate?  Mumbo: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Grian: You really believe in Joel?  Lizzie: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us

Scar: You should see Grian, he’s a total tsundere. Isn’t he just the best? Gem: He stabbed you.

Scar, throwing their head into Grian's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!  Grian, lovingly stroking their hair:You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are

Cleo: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

Doc: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Gem.  Ren: You just said it again.  Gem: Doc: I am not a role model.

Lifers reactions to being called straight:  Joel: The fuck, no I'm not.  Ren: Excuse the hell out of you?  Scar: Ding dong, you are wrong!  Martyn: Who told you that? And why did they lie?  Grian: Rude.  Cleo: *punches the person*

Grian: Scar... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.  Scar: *muffled* mm hmmm :)  Grian: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

Joel: Bitch.  Bdubs: Blocked.  Joel: Wait unblock me I need to tell you something.  Bdubs: Unblocked.  Joel: Bitch.

Scot: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!  Martyn: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

Ren To Mumbo: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

Gem: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.  Joel: And?  Gem: And you are.

Grian: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun

Grian: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.  Scot: So you're just gonna wait until Scar is in danger and save them?  Grian: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them.  Scot: ...  Scot: You're insane.

Grian: The time to act is now.  Scar: Wink, wink.  Grian: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.  Scar: Oh, sorry.  Scar: Wink.

*lifers at a family dinner*  Pearl: Can you pass the salt?  Scot: *throws Joel across the table*

Tango: Did you buy eggs like I asked?  Jimmy: Even better!  Tango: What the fuck did you-  Jimmy: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy Tango: She’s… beautiful!

Skizz: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?  Joel: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”  Skizz, scoffing: Oh, please.  Joel, to Jimmy: Hey, how you doin’?  Jimmy: jimmy: *giggles and blushes*

Joel, driving in his car with the other winners and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip-  Martyn: In our favorite piece of shit!  Grian: Doing 95!  Scot: We’re gonna fucking die!

Scar: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!  Impulse: This unmitigated poppycock?  Gem: Extravagant hogwash!  Grian and Mumbo: Okay, stop.

he did not miss a beat

Why Shortgrass is AWESOME and why you guys should care RIGHT NOW please

They admire each other's building skills A LOT a lot. To the point that it's basically their own language where they just communicate through compliments and block choice discussion. The horse rivalry is the one thing everyone knows about, but I don't see anyone commenting on the way they get at each other, especially the things Bdubs proposes, all "I hate him now. I didn't think I was capable of hate. I'm gonna get good at PVP. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna blow him up. Joel is evil and fucked up", literally playing out his murder plans, only to then become a little fangirl as soon as he's in Joel's presence. Joel doesn't show it as much but he's the same way. They're literally 👉👈 at each other. Bdubs is also so susceptible to praise. Although he often plays up his reactions, you know he loves a good compliment and he knows any he gets from his senpai idol guy Joel are genuine

This is especially well showcased when Bdubs was showing off his stalls that have been trapped, and Joel thinking that something is up. Bdubs dedicated an entire episode to this, hyping himself up, and then them actually interacting is tense but extremely polite. And then that whole interaction is capped off with Joel: "Wow I though I was gonna die but this has been really pleasant. Thanks". Then they like playfully taunt each other before Joel flies off and Bdubs goes "That's exactly how that was supposed to go... simple and friendly... I got him played like a fiddle.... yes I do..." after accomplishing nothing but giving Joel a nice little showcase of his new build

That is to say, it's very cute that Bdubs despite his expressions of Joel being despicable gets exposed to his genuine side and how they tend to be very sweet towards each other (examples below). It serves as an interesting but nice contrast to the Life series, where a lot of players (some more than others) go off of the same belief, that Joel is a rabid dog in need of being put down. Joel very much plays into being a rascal, but he means no real harm (eg reassuring Bdubs he wouldn't kill his important horses and you know he won't) and it so easily becomes playful and mutual banter between them

Anyway bunch of moments of them being cute or something that I can't and don't want to sum up organically

At the start of a SL session, Joel is yellow and on 8 hearts, is asking the Mounders for their hearts, Bdubs is hesitant but goes "you deserve it". Then he lies to Etho that Joel was so intimidating and scary and forced him. Then he lies to Impulse that Joel was pathetic and begging for it.??

In one episode of SL, Bdubs tries to help Joel guess someone's task by guiding him to Grian, but Grian's task was to get called out so Joel helps him succeed instead and Bdubs feels really bad about it. Then like 2 episodes later he's, again, sharing intel to help him guess multiple tasks. Something about the way he's above ground talking to Joel for an extended period of time at multiple points while Joel is down under working on an exp farm calling him his favorite snitch (the only person Bdubs doesn't snitch on is Etho. Naturally)

And also Bdubs praising Joel a bunch when he sees him actually digging out the farm. He's praising Joel as if it were his task to do so (like Scar with Pearl in that other SL episode) but he's just. doing this just because

When Bdubs' task is to get someone to leave whilst he's telling a story, Joel eventually does, and Bdubs seeks him out later just to tell him "I knew you would. I knew you got my back"

Joel accidentally shoots Bdubs during the SL finale, he feels awful about it and Bdubs tells himself to eat his golden apple, which poetically reminds Joel to eat his. And then Scott uses Bdubs' death to taunt Joel before killing him too 😐

"Good morning sunshine!" (Joel in response: "morning mr dub")

"Are you trying to swim in lava, angel?"

Bdubs completely unprompted: "Be calm and cool and collected, like Joel is in moments like these, not scared of anything"

Joel mimicking Bdubs in WL going "you see, Minecraft is like a canvas..." and Bdubs reacting to it

Bdubs saying "Hey, don't- calm down, kay? We're gonna get you out of this, okay?" to Joel while Joel's trying to sell him purpur against his will

Bdubs fixing Joel's trapdoors even whilst in the process of horse cursing him

Bdubs talking about how he wants to beat Joel in PVP "for stealing Etho" and then also calling him a good builder unprompted. He's so fanfiction

And the statue Joel built of Bdubs ofc

(More from you guys that I forgot!!) Joel all "different season, you've no reason to hate me now right" at the start of WL and Bdubs goes "no of course not. Except I wanna kill you"

Their banter in general in their episode of "Is that Sheep looking at Me?" (And Gem)

If anyone knows more you've gotta tell me

<33 I love u Bdubs you're so good to my boys

Wild Life Bingo

Take a look at this seasons bingo card! I think I did some pretty good predicting in this one. The darker ones are ones that have had to be shaded multiple times.

Be gone Biphobes!!!!!

This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual

Scar’s REPO stream has possibly one of the best moments that just goes unnoticed. It’s at 2:54:25

Scar picks up a love potion that makes him profess his love for Grian. No, I promise I’m not making this up. Then Grian proceeds to pick it up and start processing his love for Scar. I’m not crying, you’re crying.