‘You Have Been Weighed, You Have Been Found Wanting’: On Kendall As His Father (Or Not)

‘You Have Been Weighed, You Have Been Found Wanting’: On Kendall as His Father (Or Not)

This is going to be another long post, so I apologise in advance, but as the world’s premier Kendall Royologist (jk), I had to give my take on where we are after episode four.

I want to start by saying that for me, when it comes down to it, ultimately, none of this is the fault of the Roy kids. For the siblings, whatever happens, wherever they end up, it’s not their fault. They are products of a lifetime of abuse, and I cannot stop having so much compassion (maybe too much, I’ll admit it) for them as they try and survive it, even though they do such heinous things.

I want to talk about Kendall. I say it all the time when it comes to him, but my poor boy. Oh, my poor babe. My heart aches. I spent the entire evening after watching ‘Honeymoon States’ thinking about all the new dark and terrifying avenues that have opened up, and feeling nauseous about it. None of it is satisfying for me, and objectively I don’t even find it to be a glorious, villainous volte-face. I can’t say ‘slay he’s in his villain era’, because it’s so sad to me. It’s just so sad. His behaviour in that episode shows how deeply rooted his trauma is, and how it might actually be an inescapable force. And that’s so sad.

This episode was about the two sides of Kendall. One, true Kendall; and two, the constructed Kendall. Both products of the abuse in different ways. Here they are, contrasted:

It’s so telling that we start and end the episode with these polar opposite moments.

The first, this is the real Kendall. We can see him. So broken, so bereft, so without identity, so lost without the person to whom he was trauma bonded, the person against whom he defined his entire being. What’s going to be easier, confronting that? Or - simply - just going mad? He’s going mad in the Othello and Macbeth sense, befitting for the end of a Shakespearean tragedy. And it’s Logan’s doing, even from beyond the grave. This is what I’m going to talk about in this post.

Kendall wasn’t born a “killer”. It’s not something etched into his soul. It’s something he’s learnt, an unnatural quality that he’s had to develop. When he ‘turns’ at the end of this episode, it’s not “Logan’s DNA showing through after all”. It’s not “he’s in his evil era”. This is a man who is so paralysed by the fear of confronting a life without Logan (due to their trauma bond) that he would prefer to become him as a form of coping, even though it will inevitably kill him.

His smile at the end is not one of liberation, it is the smile of a man who has been utterly psychologically broken.

Yeah, his initials spell ‘KLR’. But this isn’t merely a clumsy way of telling us that he’s a killer. It’s a way of signifying that his identity is so deeply entwined with Logan that he is (or feels as if he is) nothing without him. ‘Logan’ is at the heart of his name - right in the centre. He can’t be free of him, because the chain has been on him since he was named as a baby.

Who knows what was going on in that old man’s head when he edited that letter? I see that the underlined/crossed debate is going to dominate discourse for the week, but I think it’s utterly meaningless.

It does not matter at all what Logan INTENDED to write. It’s what Kendall perceives that counts. La mort de l’auteur, literally.

In that piece of paper, Kendall sees a potential confirmation of everything he ever wanted to hear, and he articulates these desires explicitly to Frank: he needs to believe it was underlined, because that means he was wanted, he was loved, he wasn’t a mistake, he wasn’t a failure.

He pretends to have already known that Logan did sudoku, to kid himself and everyone else into believing that they were close. He’s going mad - like all Shakespearean tragic protagonists are. He’s being driven mad by his need to believe that Logan wanted him.

Personally, I think it was underlined. Not because Kendall was his favourite all along, but because he was the one Logan most wanted to control. The role of CEO is a chain to them, it’s an embodiment of Logan’s hold on them. By dangling it in front of him, Logan can keep Kendall chained and controlled and under his thumb, even after death.

As @kaiyashunyata on Twitter phrased it: it doesn’t matter if Kendall’s name is underlined or crossed out. What matters is the uncertainty of it and how Logan can taunt his children and spark their ruin even after death.

And it’s why capitalism and the family are so intwined, and why it’s admirable that the show does a great job of showing this.

Jeremy Strong articulates this entire dynamic so insightfully and elegantly:

Your father makes you a promise: this is your destiny, this is your birthright. Capitalism promises people the same thing. Both are completely empty and misleading.

But Kendall is so desperate to feel as if his life has meaning, so desperate to know he was loved, that he’s willing to chase the false dream anyway.

Because - ever since childhood - CEO has been held up to all the children (but especially Kendall) as the only thing that gives you worth as a person. And Kendall needs to believe that he has worth in the eyes of his father because, without that, he’s nothing. Or at least he thinks he’s nothing, that’s the impact of a trauma bond.

We know that he’s not nothing. Stewy knows it. Rava knows it. Naomi knows it. His siblings and children know it. But he has been trauma bonded to someone who made his love a rare and valued commodity, and without it, he doesn’t feel like there’s any reason for him to exist at all.

It’s the often repeated metaphor again of Logan’s love as the sun - when you’re in it, you are covered in light and feel invincible. Without it, you are left to die in the dark.

I think that’s why the hug scene is significant but also tragic. It’s the only other time we see Kendall as himself in this episode, and in the company of another person at that. And he only lets it show for a few seconds, before the brave face returns. Stewy is so right when he skeptically perceives Kendall’s run for CEO as “diving into work”. That’s exactly what he’s doing, to avoid confronting the dark realities.

If Stewy’s love could save him, he would be saved already. But only Logan’s love is enough for him.

One of the cruelest things about the will letter is that it makes it so clear that ‘CEO’ is a stand-in for love, approval, acceptance. The kids (well the Strong Dogs at least, Kendall and Shiv) are ready to kill each other over it - days after tenderly holding each other outside Teterboro Airport - because they have been so brainwashed into seeing it as the be all and end all of their entire existences.

Kendall, who loves his baby sister. Who held her hand when she was crying and succumbs to her puppy dog eyes in seconds. Kendall, who is willing - in an instant - to go back to war with Shiv, because that’s all they’ve been taught to do. That’s their purpose. Their reason for life.

And Kendall is severely mentally ill, I think that needs to be made very clear.

Frank sees the danger of it. “You seem so well…” Frank says, and Kendall is for all appearances, for that beautiful bit of time when he’s free of the war.

But of course, despite Frank’s advice and reservations, Kendall can’t help but be drawn back into the war. Because he feels it’s the only way to define his identity now that his trauma bonded abuser isn’t there to do it for him.

And when he blackmails Hugo? When he uses Logan’s style of violent sexual language? This isn’t a new era for him. It’s not villainy. It’s the same Ken we saw at the very start of S1, trying so desperately to ape his father, to be his father, taking ideas right out of Logan’s playbook. But he’ll fail.

And he’ll fail because, at the end of the day, he isn’t Logan.

Kendall manipulates people. He emotionally blackmails Stewy and his siblings (especially Roman). Out of bitterness, he demands that Frank spread lies about two women being sluts and junkies. He withholds important information for his own use later. He threatens to “burn” Greg after showing him kindness. He uses violent sexual language in business settings. He calls the vote of no confidence. He makes the groundbreaking press conference. He goes in aggressive.

These are Logan’s lessons, this is what Logan means when he says “he learnt it from me”. However, they fail. They’ll always fail.

Whatever he does, he’ll never convince.

The sexually violent language is especially interesting, because it never hits the same. Kendall threatens to fuck Lawrence “with a silver dildo”, very similar to the way in which he threatens to use “the strap-on” with Hugo. False penises, artificial implements, unnatural, not part of his body. He threatens to cut Stewy’s dick off, another emasculating act that doesn’t involve him personally penetrating anyone. The only time he physically involves himself in his sexual metaphors is when he viscerally describes giving Lawrence a blowjob.

Like Tom says so succinctly in season three, Kendall is always the one who is going to get fucked.

Kendall isn’t Logan, no matter how much he thinks that achieving that goal will heal him. Kendall wasn’t hardened by poverty, or the suffocating patriarchal norms of the 1940s and 50s. He is sensitive and lonely and emotional and weak and insecure and vulnerable. He is desperate to be none of those things. In trying and failing to be Logan, he’s unwittingly showing who he really is.

But he is a fighter. And that’s the thing Logan always feared. That is the person Logan raised - yes, “the best of all of them”, but also someone with the grit to potentially escape. And that is what was unacceptable and terrifying.

We root for Kendall because we know - we have seen - that he has to ability to break free. We also know, from Chiantishire, that his deepest desire is to be free. To be unchained. To be released from this never-ending cycle of abuse and pain.

We’re terrified of that razor-thin tightrope he walks, because we know that it could (and probably is) going to all go wrong. We’re scared of the prospect that some people are doomed, are beyond help, are beyond saving. As with the best tragic Shakespeare protagonists, we love Kendall, but we know deep down that he can never be free. That is the crushing reality of abuse as a metaphor for capitalism. It’s heartbreaking.

Logan chose Kendall as CEO not because he was his ‘favourite’, but because Kendall was the one he most wanted to control. CEO is the perfect means by which to keep him chained, controlled and enthralled to the empty dream, even from beyond the grave.

For Logan, and for capitalism as a whole, to love is to control.