Danny's 'the Most Guy Who Can't Leave Well Enough Alone' Ever

Newborn Army Lives

Victoria and Riley picked people (mostly teenagers) that nobody would miss for their army. They all had been dealt a shitty hand in life. Is it me or is that extremely out of character for the Cullens to brutally murder a bunch of brainwashed kids? And the Volturi’s actions didn’t make any sense either.

Also, we’re never given an exact number but from what I counted on the wiki eighteen newborns were named in The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner so I just added another eighteen.

so…thirty-six bouncing baby vampires!

So here’s what I propose:

The Cullens don’t kill the newborns. They incapacitate them. Yes, there is still the epic battle and the newborns have been ripped apart (which is traumatic and the Cullens feel bad but it was necessary) but they’re not burned.

They don’t dismember Bree

She’ll be used as a witness

The Volturi swoop in and the Cullens present the bodies of Victoria and Riley

Jane interrogates/tortures Bree to get information

Learns that none of them knew anything about the laws

The fact that the newborns are in pieces and not ashes aren’t lost on the Volturi

Jane makes the comment about the Volturi not giving second chances

Which is bullshit because the newborns never even got their first chance

Jane agrees to allow the newborns to live. The caveat being that for one year starting on that battlefield the Cullens are responsible for the newborns

Meaning that if any one of them step one toe out of line they’ll rain down hell upon their heads

Jane didn’t do this out of the goodness of her own heart

She had orders

With Carlisle not only generally well-liked amongst vampires (he has quite a few powerful friends), he also has one of the most powerful vampires in existence in his coven

He was a threat but they couldn’t take him out directly

They half hoped the newborns would do it for them. It’s why they didn’t squash the newborns earlier

But they also knew that skilled vampires with experience will win against the newborns any day

They also, to some degree, know Carlisle and his bleeding heart

So they send Jane along with orders

If the Cullens killed all of the newborns, great! Their job has been done for them

If they spared - kill the spares.

It’ll send a message

If they spare more than five newborns, allow the spared ones to live. With the ultimatum of the Cullens being responsible for them as if they created them

Why?

Well it kills some birds with one stone

If the Cullens fail to control the newborns properly (which the Volturi are sure they will) then the decimation of the Cullens would look justified

They could also say that the Cullens knew what they were agreeing to and accepted the potential consequences

They could get rid of the threat and wouldn’t have to deal with the political implications and backlash of the Volturi killing the Cullens for either no legal reason or a flimsy one

The fact the Cullens spared all the newborns was both unexpected and delightful

Aro also wanted to see how it all played out

So he allows it

Breaking Dawn is the Cullens trying to wrangle the thirty-six feral newborns

Edward gives in and Bella is changed and joins the rest of the newborns in training

The Cullens move to the most remote place you can think of

but they still have a hard time controlling all of them (duh)

So they call their vampy friends and ask them to help them out with their pack of feral vampires

Jacob’s pack - Jacob, Seth, Leah, Embry, and Quil - are there too.

Cue vampire-werewolf solidarity

-Insert hundreds of headcanons about The Year of everyone trying to house train thirty-six buck wild baby vampires but this is already too long-

And The Year draws to an end and they did the impossible. 

now where the f u c k do the fully grown and matured vampires go now

Some newborns are adopted into covens that helped “raise” them

Others go off by themselves and become solitary nomads 

Others form covens among themselves and leave

Some take up the vegetarian diet

others don’t 

During the year Bree Tanner and Diego (he’s alive), and Dean grow close to Rosalie and Emmet

the five create an entirely new coven

With Rosalie as the mother figure and Emmet as the father 

Renesmee’s name is instead Carlie (a nod towards the canonical name but less gross) and she’s a newborn that develops a close relationship with Edward 

They also adopt another newborn, Mason 

Essentially Bella, Edward, Mason, and Carlie form a coven of their own and leave to start a new life 

Alice and Jasper also adopted a newborn, Heather, and go off on their own

Don’t feel too bad for Carlisle and Esme, having to say goodbye to their adopted children

They adopted four newborns

Warren, Logan, Daniella, and May

Plus their older children visit quite often 

Sometimes separately

Sometimes it’s a huge family reunion

Bella’s and Edward’s wedding happens at the very end when they’re all fairly certain she won’t massacre the human guests. Her supernatural beauty is passed off as god tier makeup and contacts 

Oh, and Jacob doesn’t imprint on a baby!

Or on this version of her either

And they all lived happily ever after

sorry dude

DP x DC prompt - Kids Need Enrichment, So Do Ghosts

So this can work as either a DP prompt or a DPxDC prompt but seeing as I’ve been on a DPxDC binge, I will be tagging it as DPxDC

Danny’s universe is losing connection to the Infinite Realms (or is destroyed) or maybe he’s on the run or whatever. Anyway he ends up creating a Haunt in the next place that is most connected to the realms (which is probably Gotham) and ends up being a teacher or part of a volunteer outreach group.

Anyway he ends up in the more crime ridden parts of the city and notices that there are children who are seriously missing enrichment activities. So deciding to kill two birds with one stone he decides to set a sort of community service program for his rogues and a recreation center for the children.

Ember teaches music

Skulker is like a boy scouts troop leader or whatever

Ghost Writer teaches English/Literature or Writing Workshops

Lunch Lady provides snacks and has a Home Ec class

Box Ghost helps oversee donations and makes sure the more unsavory criminals stay away from messing with them

Johnny 13 maybe has a workshop class

Ghost Puberty

Danny already went through Puberty once, as a human.

But now that he's been a half ghost for thirteen years, he gets to experience

✨Ghost Puberty✨

It includes;

Fangs!

Glowing Freckles!

Claws!

Uncontrollable bouts of Floating!

Eyes glowing at weird times!

Odd, unconventional Cravings! Like raw meat!

Voice cracking!

And of course; all of these things presenting themselves while he's in his human form at odd times!

So Danny, 27 and fresh on the Bludhaven Police Force, is caught by his new partner as he desperately grips onto his desk to stop himself from floating into the ceiling, legs loops around the leg of a chair already four inches off the ground.

He stares at his partner.

His partner stares back.

"...So anyways, I was thinking we could go over these new forms, they're in the department file labeled 'suggestion'," his partner, Dick Grayson, says, casually leaning on Danny's shoulders and forcing the chair onto the ground.

They stare at useless forms on the computer until Danny's able to control it, and afterwards Dick takes him out for milkshakes.

Dick thinks he's a new meta.

Danny's too embarrassed to admit it's just puberty.

@simplestoryteller

Sometimes even the villains have standards

The Cullens as Animals

Put That Thing Back Where it Came From or So Help Me-

Constantine was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, hands flying as he went over the rules of dealing with Infinite Realm Nobility for the eighteenth time.

Bruce tried to pay attention, really. But he'd already memorized this speech of the Laughing Magicians, and all there was really left to do was wait for their turn to meet the High King.

A flash of movement caught Bruce's attention, and he found his eyes drawn to a completely human teenager meandering his way from one of the side doors and towards the refrigerator stocked with "mortal friendly snacks".

Bruce kept quiet as he heard the teen muttering to himself about "aw yeah fuck yeah fiji water fuck yes", and let Constantine drone on and on about how they were probably the first mortals the King had ever met.

The teenager behind the ranting man stocked his arms full of Fiji water, chips, and cosmic brownies.

Then the Teen turned and realized Bruce was watching him.

Bruce shook his head minutely.

The teen slowly turned back to the fridge and put everything but the Fiji water back. That and the cosmic brownie.

Cautious blue eyes met his, and the kid raised an eyebrow.

Bruce scowled.

The brownie was quickly replaced with a banana.

Bruce gave a slight nod and looked away.

The teen darted back through the side door.

He didn't know who the kid was, but eating healthy was important. And, okay, maybe his own experience with kids had shoved its way to the front of his brain and taken over.

At least the random teenager in the Land of the Dead would have a healthy snack.

Two more minutes passed before the small entourage was allowed into the antechamber.

A glowing, floating boy was hovering just above the throne. White hair, glowing green eyes, a crown that looked like it was made of shattered pieces of space glittering above his head-and a poorly hidden half empty bottle of Fiji water peeking out at them from behind the throne, kept company by a single banana.

...Huh.

He had either told the Kings servant what to feed the King, or...

"Welcome to the Infinite Realms, I am Phantom, High King. For what reason do you seek an audience?"

Oh. Nope, nevermind on the servant theory. That was the kids voice.

Bruce had directly told the King of an entire dimension what he could and could not eat.