All Blood Is Red 6/13/2020

[What’s the rush?]

Months spent, years lost

several ages of humankind,

Turned to dust.

Searching the meaning

In meaninglessness

Seeking the purpose

In pointless existence.

In the grand universe

Though a tiny particle

Striving to leave a mark

On the earth's chronicle

That's Its own way

of attaining immortality

Conquering the fear of death

And Converging to eternity

But shortsighted as you are,

Didn't stop to think

That writing on the sand

Could be erased in a blink

Could be that your life,

Is one beautiful accident

You shine for a moment,

You exist, and that is the point.

Eyes that hold

Million unspoken words;

Lips that are

Afraid to form a sentence;

Heart that cries

"Please, hear my silence."

Born again

It's been two decades since I was born

With everyday asking myself 'what for?'

With everyday looking up to a stone idol

Expecting answer to the one question I can't utter...

It's been one decade since the realization struck

That all those pleas and questions I sent

Was received by a room full of nothingness

And even if some soul lingers in that darkness

He doesn't care about a girl with a cruel fate...

That whenever I looked up at the sky

With the hope in my heart to find salvation

All along it had nothing to offer

Except darkness and suffocation...

It's been some years since I came to acceptance

That a tree can't move away from its roots

It took some time to put back the pieces

To mend something that has always been broken

To stand up and walk again

I still have the scars and one fragile heart

Unanswered questions and unfulfilled wishes

But now I know, it doesn't make a difference

I can't cut my roots but I can still grow

And that was when,

I was born again.

To you,

I was your shadow

Always following you

In stormy nights

In grainy lights

Even in your darkest hours

When you were too immersed

In your own darkness to see me.

I was your air

Essence of your life

But unnoticed

Until the day I left

And you realised

What suffocation is.

I was your sun

You frowned

Whenever you looked at me

Hid yourself

In my presence

But you didn't realise

Without me

No dawn is coming.

You patched yourself up

With little pieces of me

But can't you really see

It has left me empty

The daunting hollowness

Eating me from inside

Yet your eyes taunt

I must be guilty

What's so additive

About the pain and the heartache

That I couldn't step aside

Until pushed to the edge

I couldn't leave your side

The millions of seconds

It took me to realise

The best of your moments

Are the worst of my life

How does it feel

To be alone in a mourning

Amongst the crowd of people

Singing and dancing

How does it feel

To be not be able to scream

While your heart is being sliced

In thousand little bits

How does it feel

To be burning in a sea

And concealing the scars

Behind a polite smile

How does it feel

To finally realise

How insignificant

Your life truly is

How does it feel

Wanting to be erased

From everyone's mind

While craving the attention

At the same fucking time

Come with me into the woods

Where the sky's fogged with clouds

And I'll show you millions of stars

In the deepest parts of the ocean

I'll show you what is air

Close your eyes, shut your mind

I'll show you how it feels to live a dream

Away from the harsh rays of sun

Where all floating dandelions have gone

Will you come with me?

Evanescence

Why does it matter that

I leave my footprints in the sand

If it can't even survive a wave of sea water...

Why does it matter that,

I leave the traces of my being

If one day,

It's going to be blown by the wind...

Why does it matter that

I inscribe my name

On a rock at the peak of that mountain

If one day,

it's going to fade with the inexorable rain...

Why does it matter that

I mark my space in the minds of others

When the memories you hold

Are not even loyal to you...

Why does it matter

That I make myself

A little more significant than others

If everything in this world

Evanesces with time anyway...