A lot of people don't quite seem to understand queerplatonic relationships at first glance, because at their core, they are designed to be undefinable. Their existence is inherently critical of the pre-established idea of what relationships and attraction means, which is why people seem to think they don't stand up to scrutiny.
Several people intuitively insist on trying to fit queerplatonic neatly in between "friendship" and "romance" in the relationship hierarchy. As if they're inherently something "more" than a friend but "less" than a romantic relationship. However, from my understanding, this is the exact thing the label of queerplatonic is actively trying to fight against.
I'm not saying that this isn't what some queerplatonic relationships are, in a sense, but it's certainly not all of them. Queerplatonic relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and do so by design. There is nothing you can't do in a queerplatonic relationship and nothing you can't feel. Once you start venturing into the community you will find queerplatonic relationships where people have sex, queerplatonic relationships where there is romantic attraction involved on some level, queerplatonic relationships that are prioritized less than friendships, people who have romantic relationships, but are more actively committed to their queerplatonic partner, and plenty of other variations.
Queerplatonic partners are not inherently a "leveled up" version of friendship. They are not inherently a romantic relationship but without the romance. "Queerplatonic" is a word that exists in defiance of the way mainstream society views relationships and their hierarchies altogether. The point of it is not to lie on a sliding scale between friendship and romance, but rather to acknowledge that the widespread understanding of relationships doesn't include us. We have made the active decision to carve out our own space for this reason. Where we set the expectations, feel the ways we feel, and do the things we do, without anyone telling us it's not correct or enough.
That's why they're important. That's why it is a useful label, especially to aspec people, who have often felt alienated from relationship definitions and specificity in feelings. And I think it's important to acknowledge that.
Three mimir
Not be a nasty mean disgusting aromantic on main but I hate the prevalence of puritanical anti-sex culture in queer spaces. Stop demonising casual sex or fucking your friends or in general just getting it on with whoever you want without wanting to pursue a romantic relationship as well. Stop calling people who don’t want romantic relationships but like sex ‘fuckbois’ or ‘afraid of commitment’. Stop treating all aromantic people like they’re not valid unless they’re also asexual. Aroallo people exist and deserve just as much respect as the rest of the community regardless of their views on sex. This involves cishet aroallo people as well because I know how weird yall on tumblr are about them. You don’t get to judge someone just because they don’t match up to your image of what a respectable queer looks like. Unless you’ve forgotten we’re all perverted dykes and faggots and trannies in the oppressors eyes and helping keep the myth of sex being something disgusting that should only ever happen between “two people who love each other very much” just helps them. Stop fucking putting your own head under the guillotine before the extermination has even started
*note: do not tag this as ace or aroace. This post is about the specific experiences aroallo people face and I will not suffer derailing.
Its always WHEN you grow up, WHEN you get married, WHEN you have kids, WHEN you die. Why do you assume im going to do any of those things?? Lets get some ifs in the vocabulary, please
No remorse, I have no mercy
"There's no platonic explanation for this" there is if you're aromantic enough about it, hope this helps!
aromanticism. you agree. reblog
You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.
this is me btw . . . me when online frienfds . . . me when close mutuals . . . me talking to the silly people in my phone . . .
"Not platonic not romantic but a secret 3rd thing" its called a QUEERPLATONIC PARTNERSHIP and u better put RESPECT on its name!!!!
It's easier to accept that you're aromantic once you understand that what you want isn't romance per se and it's really the companionship that appeals to you. I never actually liked the thought of being in a relationship but I liked the thought of being important to someone