… I Realized I’m An Outsider Again

“I’m not fascinated by people who smile all the time. What I find interesting is the way people look when they are lost in thought, when their face becomes angry or serious, when they bite their lip, the way they glance, the way they look down when they walk, when they are alone and smoking a cigarette, when they smirk, the way they half smile, the way they try and hold back tears, the way when their face says they want to say something but can’t, the way they look at someone they want or love… I love the way people look when they do these things. It’s… beautiful.”

— Clemence Poésy

quote from Dead Girls Don’t Cry ✟

THE REAPER AND ME.

When The Reaper came a calling,

I knew that I must stall him,

I must keep The Reaper talking,

Or with him I must go walking.

I offered him a drink,

Just to give me time to think,

And though his drink was spiced,

He said it was quite nice.

He got drowsy and so sleepy,

But he still looked pale and creepy,

And his voice was slurred and slow,

When he said it's time to go.

I offered him another one,

And I could see that he was having fun,

His scythe forgotten on the ground,

And his singing made an eerie sound.

Then he began a yawning,

As I was praying for the dawning,

I must keep him here till the sun was up,

So I offered him another drop.

He slept right through till past midday,

Then said we must be on our way,

Then I pulled the curtains and let in the light,

And The Reaper got an awful fright.

You tricked me fair, he said to me,

You have tricked your way from eternity,

And when night falls down I will leave alone,

And leave you living in your home.

But do you mind if I call sometime,

To share your whisky and your fine wine,

Because it was the best time I've ever had,

And you must surely see that I'm not that bad.

Now every month when the moon is full,

The Reaper calls when his work gets dull,

From dusk till dawn we sit and drink,

Then he falls asleep as the sky turns pink.

But his company sure wears me down,

And when drunk he looks like an evil clown,

And my suffering wife gets real upset,

Because our house just reeks and stinks of death.

@Ambrose Harte

@Scattered Thoughts

i am no longer available for things that make me feel like shit

“Connection is either there or it’s not.”

I heard that this morning, and all I can think about since, is how some people have no idea what deep connection feels like. They carry on, sipping their tea, smiling at the sunset in the company of a stranger, and they long for nothing. I’d be a liar if I said that I didn’t envy something about that. Because once you know deep connection, surface level feels like drowning. And well, I’ve been gasping for air for quite some time now.

“We need fantasy to survive because reality is too difficult.”

— Lady Gaga