Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

quotes from war of the foxes that keep me up at night

when you bang your head on the wall you have to remember you’re on both sides of it already but go ahead, yell at yourself.

it should be enough. to make something beautiful should be enough. it isn’t. it should be.

i put a thing in your hand. will you defend yourself? from me, i mean.

i wanted to explain myself to myself in an understandable way.

my inner life is a sheet of black glass. if i fell through the floor i would keep falling.

the enormity of my desire disgusts me.

when you have nothing to say, set something on fire

want something to chase you? run.

i’ve seen your true face: the back of your head. if you were walking away, keep walking.

the fear: that nothing survives. the greater fear: that something does.

he is inside his body and i am inside my body and it matters less and less.

how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into something else, before it’s some kind of murder?

some say god is where we put our sorrow. god says, which one of you fuckers can get to me first?

there’s a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail: the dream of about-to-be-hit, which is a bad dream, but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever.

everyone needs a place. it shouldn’t be inside of someone else.

your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.

i live in big spaces, so i’m left alone in big spaces.

there is no new me, there is no old me, there’s just me, the same me, the whole time.

i hope it’s love. i’m trying really hard to make it love.

i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. i’d rather quit. i’d rather be sad. it’s too much work. 

he was pointing at the moon but i was looking at his hand.

I’ve decided every woman who spends most of her time alone is one of my soulmates

I’m a total loser.

Ilya Kaminsky, “A City Like a Guillotine Shivers on Its Way to the Neck”, Deaf Republic

[Text ID: “At the trial of God, we will ask: why did you allow all this? And the answer will be an echo: why did you allow all this?”]

4/17

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.