What If A Rat Said Cheesus Christ

i read the hobbit in 3rd grade and i thought it was really lame. however i liked bilbo baggins for some reason and i was fully convinced he was some sort of rabbit/mouse thing until i saw the lotr movies and was really, really confused

transition milestone: marked increase in the number of jars i can't open

hey my old jeans aren't "ill-fitting", they're "so so so full of girl" thankyouverymuch

I’ve been neglecting my tumblr, but I’m so bored I’m posting here again.

I adore meeting plural systems who have fictives. Like mew are telling me mew got LORE? that's so fucking dope

I've said it before but wangxian doing cheating role-play but they can never actually pull it off

*meeting at a public bar*

Wei Ying: hey stranger ;)

Lan Zhan: ...hello. Can I buy you a drink?

Wei Ying: you better not, my husband is Hanguang-Jun, he's insanely possessive and strong~

Lan Zhan getting red ears: how strong?

Wei Ying: your line was supposed to be "he doesn't have to know!" Lan Zhan are you fishing for praise? Let's try again

Lan Zhan: ..... I am married as well

Wei Ying: he can't satisfy you, that's why you came here huh?

Lan Zhan: no he's amazing. He's very sexy

Wei Ying twirling his hair: hehe is that right? Your husband turns you on that much?

Lan Zhan standing up: yes. I want to go home and have sex with my husband right now

Wei Ying getting out of his seat: yeah me too

"i am a mouse, i am eating this cheese"

—this iconic mouse quote was brought to you by iconic mouse quotes™

I had a dream that they started putting urinals in all the women's restrooms—not with trans women in mind, but because it was the new TikTok fad for cis women to pee standing up.