Poisoned Apples 1.0 Release

metroid is about isolation

but metroid is also about learning to do trick jumps from random animals who celebrate when you get it right, and about saving them even as the planet shudders under your feet

and metroid is about lowering your gun when you meet the last of a species who's only just hatched, and gently holding out your hand

and metroid is about accidentally calling the name of someone you care about, who you thought you'd lost, and finding out they've been with you the whole time

and about a little scribble of a child with their parents tucked into the corner of a grand mural

and about the gifts left behind by others because they may be gone before they get to meet you, but that won't stop them from helping you

metroid is about love actually

More favourite numerical memes:

Implicit or implicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)

Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: "six whole people")

Using words that aren't numbers as numbers (example: "one William dollars")

Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are "at least three")

Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)

my toxic trait is that I think those uwu trans girl memes that 19 year olds on reddit make are pretty funny

this is comedy gold to me

my millsberry pets have probably been repossessed now that it's been eighteen years since i bought them food with my cinnamon toast crunch pachinko money

forget area 51, i wanna raid the cheese caves

sorry for not posting much! they only let me out twice a month

always remember,

a weed is not a classification of a type of plant,

it only means a plant growing where you dont want it,

but no plant at all, Is a Weed

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--an actual Kroger job listing