Bombs

*at school*

INTJ: ehi it’s a little cold in here, can someone close the windows?

ENTP: you opened up you heart again?

INTJ: Hey INTP

INTP: Good morning, all hail the watcher

ENTP: *from the other side of a crowded room* All hail the watcher

ESTP: *sets the kitchen on fire*

ENFP *panicking*: Where's the responsible adult??

ESTP *also panicking*: He's asleep on the couch!

INTP: Don't worry guys, I got this. Hand me a bucket of water.

INTP *dumps water on ENTJ*: Wake up dumbass, the kitchen's on fire.

School Track Meet

Me an INTP: Sometimes I wonder if this is actually real. You know.

INTJ Brother: How do you know it is?

Me an INTP: ...

INTJ Brother: What if everything around you is really just a dream you made up to keep yourself happy as you waste away in a psychic ward? Your friends and family all a delusion created to emanate some semblance of normality based on what you have been told life should be.

Me an INTP: Why would you say that if you are a figment of my imagination? [the start of an existential crisis]

INTJ Brother: Maybe I'm your subconscious trying to break you out of the hallucination, but then again I could just be bored.

Me an INTP: [my name being called to go for the 100 m dash with a full blown crisis now.]

INTJ Brother: Good luck not that it matters.

INTJ culture:

*writes a 200 page essay expressing their complex feelings and opinions on why the cease of existence of humanity is a good thing*

*chokes on spit while trying to order a meal*

He asked for 20 cents, to sell the red sweets, 15 for the sweets and...

“To hell with them. Nothing hurts if you don’t let it”

— Ernest Hemmingway

ENTP at ENTJ’s funeral, creeping over the coffin: I always thought i was gonna die first. Anyway byeeeee sucker!

INTJ: I know it’s not your strongest suit but can you PLEASE be nice? C'mon INTP, you try.

INTP: Dear ENTJ, you’ll be missed. I don’t know by whom but yeah, here you go.

ENTP: Satan’s gonna throw her back at us in a week

INTJ: I hate both of you

-

INTJ, at ENTP’s funeral: Can i have a moment with them?

ISTP: Sure.

INTJ: Get up fucker, i know you are not dead.

ENTP: nO SHIT SHERLOCK!

INTP: I told you it wouldn’t work.

-

ENTP, at INTJ’s funeral: Can i have a moment with her?

ENTJ: Sure.

ENTP: *whispering* Good luck taking over hell babe, if you ever need a body to possess here i am :’)

-

Everyone at INTP’s funeral: *doesn’t know exactly who he was but showed up anyway for respect*

Meanwhile INTJ, ENTP and ENTJ: *either laughing about the dumb way he died or crying because they lost their smol bean*

I made these poorly edited text prompts.. enjoy

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INTJs and topics’ difficulty

Easy - Philosophy, psychology, science, history, law, medical, IT

Medium - Other people’s emotions and problems, the weather, latest hit song, trending news and gossips

Hard - “How are you feeling?”