Sorry For Drawing Him Covered In Blood Again Unfortunately It Will Continue To Happen

Natalan: Hey, you speak Spanish?

Cellbit: Yeah yeah. I’m married with a Mexican.

Natalan: (Misheard) You’re Mexican?

Cellbit: No, no. I’m married to one.

Natalan: Ah, okay.

Cellbit: I’m Brazilian.

-

Cellbit: I know Spanish because I married Roier, who is my husband. He’s Mexican.

Natalan: Ah Roier.

Cellbit: Yeah yeah. Do you know Roier?

Natalan: Yeah I know him. Yeah he was my husband before as well.

Cellbit: What did you say?

Natalan: I’m serious.

Cellbit: What did you say? What did you say about my husband?

Natalan: No, uh, lets see. First of all he was my husband before.

Cellbit: Before where?

Natalan: Uhhh-

Baghera: Don’t speak about his husband.

Cellbit: He’s saying he was married to Roier.

Baghera: What? What are you saying?

Cellbit: That’s. No. He’s crazy. He’s not saying that.

Baghera: What are you saying?

Cellbit: Yeah what the fuck are you saying?

Natalan: I’m saying that I was married with Roier before Cellbit.

Baghera: You’re saying bullshit.

Natalan: No! What?

Baghera: Yeah.

Cellbit: Then what is his favorite color?

Baghera: You are an idiot.

Natalan: No you are an idiot-

Cellbit: Yeah you’re an idiot.

(Cellbit Kills Natalan)

-

Cellbit: Hey, don’t you ever- You will never, never again, speak that name again, yeah?

Baghera: Yeah.

Cellbit: Never again. Never again.

Baghera: You don’t say the name anytime. No. It’s over.

Cellbit: You are never getting near him again.

-

Cellbit: He is gone for you. He will be happy without me and without you. And he will never come back to this place! He will never return here!

Natalan: I’m just telling the truth. I’m just telling the truth.

Cellbit: He will never come back here! He will never come back here!

Natalan: I was married with Roier before you.

Cellbit: The past doesn't matter. The past doesn't matter.

(Baghera chainsaws Natalan)

Natalan: It’s just the truth! It’s just the truth, okay- I won’t say anything, okay- You’re killing me!

(Cellbit walks away)

I love you, dude from postal

Hey so while the server is closed for now, can we go back to QSMP prison for a minute? Because I think we moved on way too fast from ghostbit, Abueloier, and the implications of their relationship.

Ok, just so I don't get this wrong, that old man was Abueloier, right? He was working as a janitor for the prison, and the ghost of his old friend that he betrayed has been haunting him for what, 60 years?

Was it confirmed that the ghost was related to qCellbit? Like an ancestor, or was that just a headcanon? Because listen, if that ghost was qCellbit's grandpa or something, then everything about Spiderbit (all the way from when we first met Abueloier just became more tragic and hilarious)

So, I'm going to take the headcanon that the ghost in the prison was q!Cellbit's grandpa for my own timeline:

Ghostbit and Abueloier are individually arrested by the Federation in their 20s (???)

They meet in prison and become friends

They plan an escape together

As time goes on, Abueloier became paranoid and less trusting of Ghostbit

Just as when they're about to escape, Abueloier betrays and kills his beloved friend and is damned to a life sentence as a prisoner

After more than half a century has gone by, Abuleoier's grandson is engaged. He's heard some stuff about the guy, but he still wants to meet the guy his son is about to marry.

Then he meets qCellbit, and finds out he has the same voice and the same face as his old friend. How haunting is that?

Then qCellbit is just set on killing him and absolutely hates him (for all the right reasons ofc)

Isn't that just the most poetic form of karma? To be forever haunted by, not only the ghost of your old friend, but you also continue to see his face and be reminded about your betrayal in the man your grandson chose to love...

God, in every universe and timeline, Spiderbit is just doomed by the narrative, aren't they?

Never doubt the power of the grabby stick.

20 minutes and a broken dinosaur grabber later and Elias just picks it up with his bare hands out of frustration

read a fresh pair of eyes here!

Easier than taking a lollipop from a baby.

Q!cellbit and F!cell creature design is back

its so scary to put yourself out there but a SINGLE message saying "hi i loved what you made it touched me in some way" makes it all worth it 10000%

Random yap about the canonical differences between Demon and P1 Dude

I'm tired of people thinking that Demon and P1 Dude are the same entity/personality/have the same moral conduct. I understand how easy it is for misinformation to spread about old indie games. I am not here to attack anyone. I just wanna shed some light on a few things.

There is a reason that P1 Dude's journal entries sound and look completely different from Demon's. P1 Dude was completely detached from reality and believed he was killing monsters to "save humanity", not innocent people. Yes, P1 Dude was a terrified, anxious, traumatized, psychotic man. Meanwhile, Demon was a cold sadist that enjoys killing and spouting off goofy one liners. They have distinctive personalities.

RWS has stated many times that P1 Dude was an average guy that was really going through it before he "went postal". He was not plotting, planning, or scheming to kill a bunch of people. (He is not like Notim from Hatred.) Quite the opposite. He only purchased a Kevlar vest and armed himself at the point he felt his life was in mortal danger.

He lived in a dangerous area of Paradise in which he heard gunshots and screams after dark every night. When he began to feel genuinely threatened, he purchased a singular gun. (This is all in the lore.) The rest of his weapons are found and collected in-game. He did not begin shooting at anyone until the cops literally came barging into his front yard shooting at him first. While that doesn't justify him going on a killing spree, it is the moment that set off his paranoid delusion fully.

We know from the lore that Paradise is a fucked up place filled with dangerous people. There is something genuinely wrong with Paradise that pushed Dude to this point (even if he likely already had a few screws loose in his brain). The real-world threats he was experiencing amplified the delusion that everyone was out to get him. Chronic stress and trauma can make a person become highly psychotic.

The wrong man in the wrong place at the wrong time makes all the terrifying difference. RWS stated he is an "everyman". He is meant to be related to without condoning what he does. The whole idea behind Postal 1 is that this could happen to anyone in the right circumstances. Anyone can develop psychosis if they experience enough stress.

In P1 Dude's journal entries, he repeatedly stated that he was scared and thought people were trying to kill him. He was straight up visually perceiving the people shooting at him as creatures infected with the "hate plague". Many of the loading screens show what people looked like through his eyes. They have heavily distorted, skeletal, and monstrous faces. On the flip side, Demon's journal entries are quite sadistic, playful, and a bit poetic. Demon speaks completely differently from Dude, aside from a few later journal entries when his sanity slips further. It seems like the delusion is worsening at that point and Demon (if real) is possibly taking over further. It is important to note that Dude never speaks in-game. That is all Demon's voice speaking. RWS confirmed this.

According to RWS, no one else can hear this voice but him. It was deliberately left ambiguous as to whether or not this is an actual demon possessing him, or merely part of his psychotic delusion. Nonetheless, P1 Dude completely lacked agency over Demon's thoughts/behavior. Thus, wholeheartedly blaming P1 Dude as if he was somehow aware of what he was doing during his psychosis is straight up nonsense.

You could say he was like a puppet for Demon/his delusions. To say there is no difference between P1 Dude and Demon is to fundamentally misunderstand how this character was written. He did not know what happened until the end of the game when he realized he was attempting to harm children. That's what made him collapse to the ground in shock and horror. Everything I have stated is 100% canon and can be sourced directly from the original Postal 1 manual, in-game lore, canon information in the game files, RWS' social media accounts where they answer fan questions, and old interviews with the original dev team.

This may be a tough pill for some to swallow, but there are people with psychosis so extreme they are 100% lacking in awareness of their own behavior. That is a real thing that happens to people all the time. There's a lot of ableism and misconceptions about how psychosis works in this fandom. Please don't contribute more stigma toward psychotic people, if you can help it.

With all that being said and done:

Do I think what he did is ok? HELL NO!!! I can deeply empathize with a traumatized psychotic man that thought he was “saving humanity” by killing monsters without condoning his actions. So can you. Severe persecutory delusions are no joke! That's a pretty tragic situation to be on either end of. Imagine thinking you were doing something akin to killing off a zombie outbreak…only to realize you committed absolute atrocities. That's peak psychological horror, my dude. That's raw and real as hell to me.

I am not primarily concerned with P1 Dude's overall sense of morality. My focus is on pointing out the clear moral discrepancies/dilemmas that were deliberately written into the lore. These are moral discussions in the context of Dude's delusional perspective. Obviously, from the player's perspective/morals, his delusion is completely fucked and not logical. It is a delusion, after all. Explanations don't and should never equal justifications. I am not focused on if he is good or evil, as I do not believe in that type of thing. My main focus is with understanding the context of his delusional thoughts and actions. I think people are just people. They're all capable of wonderful and terrible things. I am primarily concerned with the canon lore and ableism toward psychotic/delusional people. People do not choose their delusions or control them, period.

-Sincerely, someone who has experienced similar delusions.

Edit: I originally wrote this post when I was sick, sleep deprived, and had a hellish headache. I have since tried to elaborate on several points I feel I did not explain in a nuanced enough way, initially.

I have noticed some people quote the Postal Strategy Guide claiming that P1 Dude shot first. That is a fair concern to bring up. This is slight misinformation on the original writer's part. Even if you do absolutely nothing in the game but stand around, the cops shoot first. Paul did not work at RWS, was not a game dev, and did not write the lore. Misconceptions and errors are very common in game strategy guide books from the 90s and early to mid 2000's.

Submitted anonymously

Tribute Name: Cell

Age: 16-17 (I am taking anon's word here since there's so little information on the character or the original source material, so if anybody can give me evidence of Cell's age I would appreciate it)

Restrictions: Can only use tools and weapons supplied in the Hunger Games arena

Propaganda: "he kills and eats people and stuff. he ate a guys leg once and hes really smart. like a little too smart."

If you would like to see your favorite character either as a tribute or as a mentor, please fill out this Google Form. Just keep in mind that for mentor polls, they will be posted every Saturday so chances are it could take a long time before they are posted.

Please also look at my pinned post for submission rules as well as a list of previously submitted characters prior to submitting your character.