Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen Looking At Her Children.

HOTD MASTERLIST

Rhaenyra Targaryen

Jealousy, jealousy / (A03)

It's like a fever, I'm burning alive / (AO3)

so cute

She Keeps Me Warm - Rhaenyra Targaryen

nyrathecruel asked: Could I request Rhaenyra x handmaiden!reader where they’re drawn to each other from the moment they meet and bond over their mutual trust issues regarding losing loved ones while slowly falling in love on Dragonstone? Like Nyra is cold and distant with everyone else, hesitant to let anyone in, but she just clicks with reader and whenever they’re alone, Nyra just melts and goes all soft, all affectionate touches and sweet nicknames and tender looks? (Two of my fav nicknames she’d call reader are: my little one, and Perzītsos (little flame) Maybe even a bit of soft smut, though it doesn’t have to be smut if you’re not comfortable

Anonymous asked: Could you do a Rhaenyra x fem stark reader pls :)

A/N: I had TWO IDEAS for these requests! So stay tuned for another fic publishing soon!

They were not well-kept secrets, Daemon’s unsavory proclivities. So, in turn, Rhaenyra went to neither effort to hide her misery nor how you, a simple handmaiden from the North, seemed to be its only remedy. 

“Enter, perzītsos. He has gone.”

A shiver ran down your spine at the low sound of Rhaenyra’s voice and you pulled your ever-listening ear from the ironwood door. Your hand, fumbling with the wiry giddiness of a lightning bolt, found the cool handle and pushed with a turn. Tongues of yellow and orange greeted you with licks of diminished warmth along with the sight of Rhaenyra, bathed in the same glow. She sat, body spread and extended over the plush armchair before the fireplace.

“Apologies, my Princess, I did not wish to intrude on-”

“What have I told you?” 

Her voice was low still, her eyes still fixed on the dwindling flames, as she addressed you. Heat rushed up to your face and washed down like the tides of the Narrow Sea. Your mouth opened slightly before you closed it, your muscles suddenly all-too-alive. Luckily, the Princess of Dragonstone, Heir to the Iron Throne, clarified. 

“You must call me Rhaenyra,” she turned to you then, light eyes darkened by the colors of fire and smiling softly. “I will not have you hiding behind formality or dutiful, Northern niceties.”

“Apologies,” you echoed, swallowing hard. “I did not wish to intrude on your lawful husband…having you.” 

Rhaenyra’s smile faded, ebbed into a flatline of stone sternness you recognized from meetings with the maester. “He left before dusk on Caraxes, an hour or so before by which I told you to arrive. There was no having of any sort.”

She moved to her feet then, her shoes knocking against the heated stone floor of her chambers as she approached you like the Blood Wyrm in her crimson gown. Her eyes were squinted slightly, focused on you, your face, reading how your eyes slowly widened with her every careful step. It was the same manner in which she approached you the first time: calculated, a predator eyeing prey. The lightning returned again, sending you into a brewing storm that culminated in Rhaenyra’s lips.

When she stood full before you, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the column of your neck. Your breath hitched immediately, and trepidation caught in your throat.

“Princess,” you whispered, though it sounded more like a gasp. Rhaenyra immediately pulled away from your neck, revealing her furrowed brow and playful scowl. “I still do not understand.”

“My perzītsos, what more is there to understand?” Her hands raced up the bodice of your gown to your neck. Her hands were warm dancing along your most sensitive skin. 

“Prince Daemon-” “Is off sowing dragonseed,” Rhaenyra said, though the ease with which she used the term alarmed you. “Just as my court remains adrift gathering council. All men, all cold, making me colder and I will not have that. I will have you.”

Rhaenyra pressed her lips back against your neck, closer to your jaw. You shivered again, your body knocking against hers instinctively, careening into her warmth. The tip of her nose tickled your skin as her lips went lower, nipping at your collarbone. Your hands rose to her waist, the whaleboning of her corset bodice. Beneath the fabric, you could feel her breathing grow more erratic. Your own breathing grew shallow with excitement, so much so that you pushed the Princess gently away. 

She gave you a worried look, her hands caressing your flushed cheek. “Do you not wish to have me?”

White hot, dragon fire panic shot through your veins. “No, no, I-”

But Rhaenyra was recoiling despite your manic clarification, already reigning in herself, her want. She was cooling into her hardened self, the soul sent off to Dragonstone by the eyes of the critical court in King’s Landing. You had seen it too many times before. How practiced Rhaenyra was as holding parts of herself back.

You reached out, just as she had, with your lips finding her neck first and your hands on her gowned hips. She was stiff under your touch but for a moment until she quickly melted into you as your mouth moved up. You pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek before pulling away, eager to see her pleased, unworried; eager to see the Rhaenyra she only seemed to show you.

“I don’t understand what it means,” you breathed out, not entirely knowing what you yourself meant, only that whatever it was made your heart sing.

Rhaenyra seemed to reach and read the most clouded part of your mind, obscured to even you. Her smile returned in glorious full and you felt your heart tickle in your chest. In turn, you felt your own lips quirk upwards, ready to swallow the newness of it all.

“You mean perzītsos?”

You nodded, unsure at first, but, sure in how it made Rhaenyra smile.

“Perzītsos. Little flame. You burn in me. You keep me warm,” Rhaenyra softened, then, her smile ebbing ever-so-slightly. “In the darkest moments, you keep me alive.”

Without wasting another second lost in the storm, you barreled through and crashed your lips into Rhaenyra’s. It felt like you were falling until you actually were as Rhaenyra pulled you down onto the silken sheets of her bed, and the rest was warm.

And would you go ahead and just cry? 3/3

Jinx × fem!reader | Caitlyn x sister!reader

Summary: Every action has a reaction.

Word Count: 2,9K

Warning: typical canon violence, mention of mental illness, arguments, gunshots, bombs, mourning.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

This contains spoilers for Arcane S2.

< previous chapter

You would laugh at your thoughts if you weren't so nervous. Caitlyn grew up with you and convinced herself that you would give in and remain quiet while she descended on her mournful quest to Zaun?

Crossing to the other side of the bridge was harder this time, since your sister had indeed left the city full of Enforcers more alert than ever. You wrinkled your nose as you slid down the sewer pipe you found along the way, not knowing where it led to the Undercity.

The golden mask did its job of keeping the toxic air from coming into contact with your airways, but it was unsettling to have that on your face. You sighed in relief when you saw the familiar contours of Zaun as you carefully slid down a pipe.

You saw the Grey before you even set foot on the dirty floor of the alley, the green traces of the toxic gas spread everywhere, which was now deserted. Sneaking around, you managed to find them with great difficulty.

The air was sucked from your lungs as you finished climbing the stairs of the abandoned temple, seeing the scene before you: Caitlyn with the rifle pointed firmly forward, in the direction of Jinx, who was lying on the stone table. A little girl tightly clinging to her. Vi straddling them, her gauntlet raised.

Running quickly, you approached the scene, passing by Sevika lying on the ground. Maybe if you had been faster, the bullet wouldn't have hit you the moment you stood in front of your older sister. You heard Jinx shouting something behind you, almost pleading.

Letting out a soft groan, yo u paid little attention to your left shoulder, which was gradually beginning to bleed. Raising your right hand, you grabbed the barrel of the rifle, lowering it. Caitlyn looked at you with slightly wide eyes, breathing heavily.

"What are you...? How did you get here?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"Cait, please." you spoke less firmly than you intended, pain flaring in your shoulder. "Stop it, please."

You could see the pain flaring in her eyes, her gaze flickering between you and the people behind you.

"Get out of the way." she pulled the rifle barrel out of your hand. "Get out!"

"Let's go home, please." you pleaded.

Caitlyn didn't lower the gun, you heard footsteps approaching and soon Vi was at your side, her hands raised.

"Cait, stop it," she pleaded. "There's a child there."

You took the cue and looked back, seeing Jinx with her eyes fixed on you. Her pink irises were looking at you sadly, a few tears had fallen on her pale face. She was holding the little girl, who was clinging to her, tightly. You nodded subtly, hoping she would sense what you meant. She swallowed hard and nodded.

Everything will be okay.

You turned to face forward when you felt a sharp pain in your shoulder, making you groan and bring your hand to the wound. Thick blood stained your hand, causing you to breathe heavily. Caitlyn stared at your actions for a moment, before masking her emotions and staring coldly ahead.

She gripped the rifle angrily, her finger on the trigger. You frowned. She was going to shoot again, but it was Vi who was in front of the gun now, not you. You held your breath and closed your eyes as she pulled the trigger.

Silence reigned over the place for a while, only the sound of heavy breathing was present. Opening your eyes, you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the barrel of Caitlyn's rifle crushed by Vi's gauntlets, who were holding the gun down.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sevika stagger to her feet and walk over to one of the walls, feeling around until she found something and activated a mechanism.

"No, no, no! It wasn't supposed to be like this!" you heard Jinx exclaim before Janna's giant mural shattered and a large amount of furious wind began to pour out of it.

You barely had time to register anything else before you were violently pushed by the wind, which was mixed with Grey. You were thrown away from the room, groaning as your injured shoulder hit a rusty pipe, where you held on. You saw Vi doing the same, a few feet below you, with Caitlyn holding her hand tightly.

You fell hard as the wind stopped, your vision going black for a moment as your injured shoulder hit the ground. Vi and Caitlyn's blurred voices were close to you, altered. They were arguing about something.The sound of a thud was heard, followed by a groan and a low cry. You groaned and tried to get up, hearing the footsteps of heavy boots approaching, soon feeling Caitlyn's slender arms around you, pulling you up cautiously.

When Caitlyn wrapped her arms around you and your vision cleared, you saw Violet lying on the floor, her hand on her stomach. She was the one crying. Caitlyn guided you up a flight of stairs, supporting your body with hers. As you climbed, she didn’t look back.

The bullet wound in your left shoulder had been stitched up and was healing. The same couldn’t be said for your relationship with your sister. Caitlyn seemed more and more distant and you were no different. The silence in the mansion was deafening.

Caitlyn seemed like a different person now. Spending more and more time with General Medarda, sleeping with one of the officers who was on her staff. It seemed like self-destruction, from your point of view.

And you... well, siblings are each other's mirror images. You were in a bad way, too. Spending most of your days in your room or in the laboratory in one of the mansion's poorly frequented corridors.

You loved working on your projects, but what little excitement was crushed when you automatically thought of Jinx while working. 'Jinx would think this is cool, Jinx would like to see this, Jinx could help me solve this.'

At least she was okay. The injury to you shoulder had been worth it.

Sighing, you leaned back over your desk, looking at the notes you were making, you had barely started writing again when the heavy door opened. Lifting your head in slight irritation at being interrupted, you frowned even more when you saw Caitlyn standing there, in her uniform.

"I didn't find you in your room, I thought you would be here." she spoke softly, looking a little embarrassed.

"A while ago, a certain commander threatened to arrest me because I didn't wait for permission to enter her room." you said softly, looking back at your notes. She laughed softly and you made a satisfied expression. "What are you looking for me for?"

She crossed the room in soft steps and leaned against the table, crossing her arms in front of her chest, sighing softly. "How's your shoulder?"

"It's... fine? It's healing." you raised an eyebrow. "But you came here to ask that?"

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes, bringing a hand up to rub the crease that had formed on her forehead.

"I need... I need to ask you a favor." she turned to you. "Before you curse at me or fight with me, I need you to hear me."

You looked at her expectantly, your eyes widening and your eyebrows raised again.

"I want you to come with me and Ambessa, to get something and someone," she continued, encouraged by your silence. "We have a suspicion that something we're looking for is in the fissures."

"And what does that have to do with me?" you asked.

"Besides what we're looking for, let's take the opportunity to try to locate Jinx." you opened your mouth to protest and she held up her hands asking for patience. "Let me explain."

"I thought you had already forgotten about that." you closed your expression.

"I asked you to pay attention." she snorted.

"Did you come here to ask me to help you hunt her? Have you lost your mind?" you raised your voice, standing up from your chair.

"We're not going to hunt anyone down, I just want her to pay for her crimes." she walked over to you. "That's the logical thing to do. Are you so blinded by her that you can't think rationally?"

"Don't start that again! I know she should pay for her crimes, but we both know what will happen to her if she goes to jail. The sentence won't be fair, they'll want to punish her for crimes she doesn't even remember committing, Caitlyn." you said, feeling your chest hurt.

"These crimes don't cease to exist because she doesn't remember," she nearly growled. "She killed our mother."

"I know!" you yelled, turning your angry face towards her. "You don't need to remind me of that again."

"And you forgave her," she grumbled, her face twisted in anger.

Sighing, you shook your head. "This isn't going anywhere."

"Not if you don't trust me." she approached with soft steps, placing her hand on his good shoulder. "I don't want to fight anymore, I didn't come here to fight."

"I can't do this to her. She needs help, not to be trapped for the rest of her life." your voice trembled.

“She’ll get help, and she’ll be sentenced to the equivalent of her crimes.” Caitlyn’s voice softened, her tender gaze directed at you. “You’ll be able to see her whenever you want.”

"She'll never forgive me." you replied, staring into her eyes with pain. "You don't understand."

"If we testify on her behalf, she won't be in jail for as long." she reached out to caress the side of your face. "I know how you feel."

You pulled away from her touch and crossed the room, stopping in front of the window. “You have no idea.”

Looking up at the large iron gates inlaid with your family crest, you realized. Caitlyn would never stop. She wouldn’t give up on going after Jinx. The pain in your shoulder returned, making you clench one of your fists.

"No one's going to hurt her, right?" you turned to Caitlyn. "If you promise me no one will touch her, I'll help you."

"I just want her arrested, that's all." she replied.

You knew you would quickly find her among the residents of Viktor's community, her blue hair made her stand out. Your face lit up when you saw her long braids in the distance, she was sitting on a rock with the same little girl from before.

Walking at a fast pace, you barely had time to speak before the little girl pointed at you.

"Boo!" you jumped in front of Jinx.

Her big eyes widened as she stood up and spat the grass she had been chewing onto the ground. The shocked expression only lasted a few seconds and soon she was clinging to you, only to pull away again and look you in the eye.

"You're okay." she said, her eyes darting to look at you fully.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" you joked. "I'm with you."

"Last time I saw you, you'd been shot." she assumed a playful expression. "My hero!" she stood on one leg and threw herself at you, waving dramatically.

You were going to answer, but the quiet little girl started jumping excitedly at what Jinx said, you smiled slightly and pushed Jinx so she would let go of you.

"Is this yours?" you gestured.

"This is Isha." she walked over to the little girl, bending down and pushing the large helmet she wore on her head. "Surprise! Now we're both her big sisters."

"Oh? She just chose us to take care of her?" you held out your hand to Isha, who took it and you shook it quickly, making her laugh. "Poor her."

Jinx laughed and stood up, wrapping one of her thin arms around your shoulder and starting walking, looking back to see Isha continuing to play.

"You know, I... missed you." her slightly hoarse voice expressed sincerity. "I thought I wouldn't see you again."

You turned your face to face her: "You won't be able to get rid of me that easily."

"How lucky I am." she spoke again with the same playful tone as always, climbing onto one of the metal structures, extending her hand to help you climb up as well. "How did you find me?"

Your stomach sank and you quickly covered it up. “I always know where you are.”

She let out another giggle and lay down, pulling your arm so you could lie down next to her, your legs dangling over the edge. Just like they did on the giant propellers in her hideout. Staring at nothing in particular, you let out an amused snort as she lifted her left hand, showing you the contraption that was now replacing her middle finger.

"What happened to your finger?" you asked.

"Your lovely sister Lieutenant Colonel shot my hand." she sighed, lowering her hand again.

"She's a commander, actually." you corrected. "She never misses a shot."

"So she just wanted to tear off one of my fingers? Cool." she laughed hoarsely. So, do you want to see my dad?"

"Your dad?" you frowned, remembering what happened with Silco. "I thought your dad-"

"Look." she sat down and pointed to one of the rooms, which had a glass roof.

Your breath caught when you saw it. The thing Ambessa wanted, the beast she hunted with determination, was lying there, sleeping peacefully.

"Is that thing your father?" you asked without realizing it, and felt Jinx playfully elbow you in the ribs.

"Hey, he has a name, and it's not 'thing.'" she said softly. "It's Vander. We came here to heal him."

You didn't respond to her explanations, instead you changed the subject and she started babbling again. Everything seemed normal again. Everything seemed fine when you were with her, listening to her babble about whatever it was. At one point, Isha came to you, carrying fruits and other things.

"Here, eat!" Jinx pushed one of the fruits into your hand as she bit into one herself, revealing the juicy, blue insides. "I've already eaten a lot," she said with her mouth full.

You bit into the plump fruit, feeling it fill your mouth. Jinx turned around and started fiddling with what Isha had brought for her, making you frown. “I thought you weren’t allowed to bring weapons in here.”

"Do you think I would walk around unarmed?" she scoffed, slinging the pistol at her hip.

You just sighed, looking back forward, your face contorting in confusion when you saw Caitlyn with that horrible doctor, standing next to Jinx's father.

"What is he doing here?" you heard Jinx's stern voice beside you and turned your head to look at her, seeing her glare at the man.

"Jinx, I need-"

You didn't have time to finish. It all happened very quickly.

Jinx jumped from the roof to help Caitlyn when she stopped the doctor from injecting something into Vander. Ambessa's warrior went after the two, but you couldn't help, seeing Isha looking around without knowing what to do.

You grabbed her hand and climbed down from where you were sitting, looking around for help. You didn't remember when Isha let go of your hand. Ambessa's warriors were everywhere, Vander looked savage now, you didn't have any weapons in your hand. Caitlyn suddenly appeared, with Vi beside her.

You managed to defend yourself from one of the soldiers, picking up his spear from the ground, but it didn't last long when you were pushed and it fell from your hand. As you stood up, you heard Jinx's scream and looked around desperately to try to find her. Then you saw Isha, with her little hands around the pistol, pointing it at the sky. With a gasp of terror, you witnessed the flash of the explosion illuminate the sky. And your vision went black.

War is deafening. Your ears rang all the time with the sound of gunshots, metal chains and death. The smell was also strong. You stood firm at the post where Caitlyn had asked you to stay, hidden, with the scope of your rifle helping you see in the distance.

You fired every now and then when you saw someone approaching the team that was taking your bomb to the giant anomaly that was pulling Viktor's cocoon through the destroyed streets. You were sure it would work. The bomb would explode as soon as the needle reached the end.

You had to run away from where you were when Ambessa signaled for someone to shoot you. Running almost aimlessly through the streets, you stopped when you heard a familiar sound in the sky.

The few minutes Jinx spent firing at the Noxian forces filled your body with hope. But that was all crushed when the airship crashed into the Hexgate tower. And you knew nothing was going to be okay when you saw the familiar explosion of the monkey bomb as you entered the place.

Your scream must have been loud and painful, but you weren't sure. The pain numbed you and you couldn't hear anything else.

You didn't know how much time had passed since the incident. Your pastime now was sitting on the roof, with your legs dangling over the edge. The destroyed head of the monkey bomb was a comfort, in a way. You placed it on your lap and pulled the small piece of white paper and the lighter from your pocket, placing the flame on one end of the paper and releasing it into the air.

What were you going to do now? She never taught you to forget her.

With a shaky sigh, you squeezed the rest of the monkey bomb and closed your eyes.

"Why are you holding that old thing?" a husky, playful voice asked behind you.

Eyes wide, you turned to look.

DUNE MASTERLIST

*AO3 LINKS*

Lady Jessica

Broken trust - oneshot

The waters of purity - oneshot

Leto Atreides

I'm not the only one - series

Paul Atreides

What about me and you together? - oneshot

For you to stay with me (AO3)

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen

LET THE WORLD BURN - oneshot

why is literal word porn all that ever trends in the fanfic tags. where has hurt/comfort goneee. where has the stories gone. why is porn the only thing that garters attention…??? why is everyone a literal gooner

where’s the romance gone in fanfiction? the story? it used to be a story, a feeling. now it’s just a mind orgasm and move on to your next brain fart.

i have written hurt/comfort fics over the course of my like 4 accs. they NEVER gain attention as opposed to literal word porn. i’ve seen others post hurt/comfort and i ALSO see if w/ theirs. there IS true hurt/comfort and romance that is posted, issue is they’re pushed so far down the tags they’re impossible to come across

fanfiction has changed so much. it used to be so wonderful and now like 95% of it is just sex. no plot.

i literally have to use c.ai to harness that hurt/comfort feels now since fanfics just only ever care to write about fucking.

WICKED MASTERLIST

Elphaba Thropp

If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you

Flower crowns and you all

Glinda Upland

If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you

Flower crowns and you all

Joel fanfic writers, stop tagging your fanfics with hashtags of other characters!! This is SO FUCKING annoying!! I can't stand going into Ellie or Abby's tags and the first thing that appears is some Joel fanfic. I love, love, love him, but his fanfics should be tagged with HIS name.

Jealousy, jealousy

Rhaenyra Targaryen x fem!reader

Summary: Rhaenyra feels jealous of her lover.

Word Count: 0,4K

Warnings: mentions of homophobia.

note: this story was posted before my blog was deleted and is also available on AO3.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Rhaenyra watched with purple eagle eyes as you chatted and laughed with the young ladies of the court, you were surrounded by them all day long. She walked back to her quarters and waited for you to come to her like every night. She watched you come out from behind one of the heavy tapestries in her chambers, where there was one of the secret passages.

"Finally, I thought you would be surrounded by women all night." she said coldly, watching you walk over and sit down on the velvet upholstered chair next to her.

"Pardon?" you said and ran your hands up the skirt of your dress.

"I saw you surrounded by the new court girls, you weaved through them with great delight, you love it all, don't you?" she spat.

"Ah, Queen Alicent's new ladies-in-waiting, they are like seeds that have just sprouted." you said in a velvety voice.

"You like the younger ones, don't you?" she said, twirling the golden rings on her long, thin fingers.

"Maybe I can sleep with one or two." you let out a giggle. "They seem open to such a thing."

"You will do no such thing." she said, looking increasingly uneasy. "Have you forgotten who you are and your position here? You would be killed if they knew you were sleeping with women."

She was right, for sure, but you loved watching how Rhaenyra became more and more jealous of you as the years went by. You entered the court on the recommendation of your father, who was previously a member of King Viserys' council, to become the princess's lady-in-waiting. Open doors you were her lady-in-waiting, but when they were closed you were her lover, her favorite in all matters, her only one.

The two of you didn't sleep exclusively with each other, but Rhaenyra slept with Harwin to have heirs, you slept with others for pleasure, and that bothered her a lot. Since she began to disagree with Alicent, the queen began to require your presence more frequently. To talk about women's matters with her own ladies-in-waiting, she said, but you knew it was to irritate your beloved princess.

"I know I have no importance at court, princess, you don't need to remind me of that." you sighed and leaned into her. "I miss you."

You stood up and took her by the hand, making her stand up too, brushing aside her platinum hair and burying your nose in her soft neck. You gave soft kisses and raised your mouth to her chin, feeling her sigh softly.

"Do you still want me?" you asked softly.

"You're mine and I'm yours, no matter what." she said, reaching for the ties on her dress and starting to undo it.

Ignorance: part 1/?

Joel Miller x reader

Summary: You confess to Joel and are rejected.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: ANGST, mention of deaths, typical canon violence, end of the world, Jackson!Joel.

note: this story had already been posted before my blog was deleted and is also available on AO3.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Ignoring the bad part of things was your favorite thing to do. It made you less sad and gave a false sense of normality in the destroyed and rotten reality you lived in. Not that Jackson was destroyed and rotten, but the world outside the gates was. So that's why you ignored everything, the spores, the cordyceps, the clickers, runners, lurkers, all of them. You did everything to escape being put on patrol, you wouldn't leave Jackson unless it was a matter of life and death. Your tasks in the community were taking care of the gardens, the stables and cleaning the community cafeteria.

It seems like a lot, but it's good for not looking idle and useless, it takes up your entire day and gives you a feeling of work accomplished and satisfaction at the end of the day, when you climb the few old wooden steps to the porch of your house. Those steps really need replacing, actually. If you stood still for more than a few minutes on top of them you ran the risk of falling. But you left that aside, you had something else in mind. In fact, you had one person in mind.

That almost completely gray-haired man, with a grey beard, robust, deep and serious voice, strong Texan accent. Joel Miller. You couldn't stand being around him for more than a few minutes, your heart was beating very quickly and you felt butterflies in your stomach. The man was Ellie's father, a girl a few years younger than you, she was a bit foul-mouthed but nice, you had already spoken to her a few times.

You held your breath from the first time you saw him in the community a year ago, and it's never been the same since. Whenever you passed him on the streets you held an idiotic sigh, you felt like a teenager for acting like that, but you couldn't help it. The man had your heart in his hands and you couldn't do anything to get it back.

Some people in Jackson spoke badly about Joel behind his back, saying he was a surly, violent man who had a lot of mood swings. One of your few friends, Emily, said the same thing when you mentioned Joel to her, but you ignored it. It wasn't like he was that bad, it should just be that the hard years he lived outside the gates were taking a toll on him, but you were sure he was a good person.

You said this to Emily, but she reiterated that Joel was an extremely violent and bad-tempered man who had done terrible things in the outside world. You chuckled and said 'and who hasn't done terrible things out there?'. Emily sighed and the conversation ended there

Holidays in Jackson were celebrated without fail, especially the most famous ones, like Christmas and New Year, but Maria began to innovate and encourage other things, like spring food festivals, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day. It seemed strange to celebrate Valentine's Day at the end of the world, but the young people in the community seemed to get excited, you included, so hearts and pink things were hung on the doors of the houses and some lights were painted pink too, in the community bar.

Oh, one thing that wasn't mentioned: your house was almost opposite Joel's house. A coincidence. You took advantage of the Valentine's Day arrangements and picked up some decorations to hang in your house, a medium pink paper heart was glued, and next to it two small red hearts. You pulled away and smiled widely as you looked at the minimal decorations that gave some life to the almost colorless landscape.

You heard heavy footsteps trampling the snow and turned to see the man himself, shotgun slung over his shoulders, backpack on his back and a tired expression on his face. Joel looked directly at your door, then looked at you and shook his head and turned to enter his own without saying anything.

You let out an excited squeal along with other women whenever someone confessed to their loved one or handed over a hastily made card. The number of these events had been increasing since the community was dressed up for the holiday. You couldn't wait to do the same, you had already planned everything, you had handmade a card for Joel, it wasn't pink or red, he didn't seem to like those things very much. It was a nice card that could be used to decorate his room, or something like that, if he didn't actually have a room.

You wouldn't do that in front of everyone, you knew Joel was an older and reserved man, he didn't seem to like attention. You didn't know his schedule, you only saw him occasionally passing home at dusk, so that's what you did: you sat on your sofa below the window and waited until Joel passed by. As soon as he appeared in your field of vision with the same thick beige jacket, the same shotgun slung over his shoulder, the same worn brown backpack and the same heavy boots you stood up and took a deep breath. She watched until he entered the house and closed the door, then took the card from the coffee table and put on his coat, opened the door and took the few steps it took until he arrived at Joel's house.

The card you had prepared was made of yellow paper, folded in half, it had a bee drawn with your best artistic gifts and right below it there was the phrase 'Bee mine?' in large black letters. You let out a giggle through your nose and walked up the few steps to Joel's house, knocked on the door softly and waited.

You didn't notice, but the window curtain moved to open a tiny crack, where Joel peeked out. A few seconds later the door opened and you caught your breath. There he was, he looked tired and you felt bad for going to talk to him at this time. Shaking your head slightly, you were about to start speaking, but before you could open your mouth, Joel spoke:

"May I help you?" the hoarse voice spoke.

"Oh, good night." you said shyly after a few minutes. "I... I wanted to, uhm–"

"Listen, young lady, I don't mean to be rude, but I just got here and I'm tired." he continued.

You swallowed hard and took the card from behind your back, holding it towards him.

"I-I was hoping to talk, but you're tired, so... here it is, I made it for you." you waved the card but he didn't move to take it. "It's for Valentine's Day."

Your stomach was churning, his expression didn't look very good, he looked very seriously at you, then looked at the card.

"You can take it, it’s for you–” you tried to extend the card to him again.

"I'm sorry, but, did you really think this was a good idea, girl?" the tone of voice was rude now. "Coming over to my house like that and handing me a piece of paper?"

"I– uhm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." you swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I just wanted to give the card I made."

"And why do you want to give me this bullshit so much?"

You had your face lowered but you looked up, slightly wide-eyed at his aggressive sentence, consumed by a wave of angry courage you blurted out:

"I really like you."

"What?" he said mockingly after a few seconds. "Do you really like me?"

"Yes." you answered bravely, still feeling the lump in your throat. "I– I really like you, I mean… I mean I'm in love with you."

Joel stared at your face for a few seconds, as if studying you, then let out a light nasal laugh and said:

"I'm old enough to be your father, girl. Go home and don't bother me again, you seem like the pushy type."

"Listen, please, I've loved you for a long time–"

"What are you talking about, stupid girl?" he looked very angry now, his brow was furrowed and his nostrils were flared. "Love? You don't know what you're talking about."

"If you give me a chance to–"

"Go home, I told you." he said. "There's no chance of that, or anything else, I don't want anything to do with someone like you, understand? Don't bother me anymore."

Then he went back inside and slammed the door in your face.

You knew very early and came home very late to avoid laying eyes on Joel. Maybe she shouldn't have ignored the warnings about him after all, but he was still present in your heart. You shoved the card deep into your dresser, you were embarrassed to look at it now.

Ironically, now that you wanted to be more busy you had less work, winter had arrived and the ground was frozen, so the garden was at a standstill. So you dedicated yourself to the horses and cleaning the mess hall, returning home at almost the same time as always.

You hadn't told Emily what you were going to do and you hadn't told her about the rejection either, she was going to throw it in your face that she had warned you. You felt so stupid now, how could you have thought you had a chance? So much self-esteem.

The days passed quickly and you were thankful for that, but it wasn't like you forgot what happened. Your first interaction with Joel since the incident was when you were cleaning the cafeteria to close, it was already dark and it was practically empty. Mopping the floor repeatedly and sighing every now and then, you didn't see him walk through the large doors.

"Are you guys finishing early?" the thick Texan accent spoke from behind you and you froze momentarily, then turned to him with an effort of blank expression.

"This week, yes, we are down one person." you replied and went back to mopping the floor.

"Okay, thanks." he seemed to hesitate for a moment before walking outside again, and you let out a sharp breath.

The universe seemed to make fun of you and a few days later you had your next interaction with Joel.

Someone covered you in cleaning the cafeteria, so you used the free time to try to fix the rotten steps on your porch. As you repeatedly hammered the nails into place, you felt a poke on your shoulder and stopped your movements, feeling your stomach turn in knots when you saw Joel behind you.

"Can I help you?" you asked, standing up and brushing the snow and dirt off your knees.

"Do you realize it's already night? I need to go out on patrol tomorrow and you're making too much noise." he said rudely.

"Right. I'm sorry." You turned around and started picking up the tools you used, holding them against your chest and seeing the best way to climb without falling.

You had only fixed one of the steps, the one closest to the ground, so you climbed up on it and stretched your leg to try to climb over the others, but the new step wasn't securely fastened and you slipped, letting out a pathetic little scream.

You heard footsteps approaching and his arms lifting you off the ground quickly.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Joel's deep voice asked and you glanced at him sideways.

"I'm fine, thank you." you replied and saw him come closer to rest his hand on the small of your back. "Don't touch me." you exclaimed.

"I just wanted to see if you were hurt." he took a few steps back, looking embarrassed.

"I am well, thank you." you responded quickly and walked away from him, picking up the materials you used earlier again.

You balanced yourself and took a little jump to the porch, entered and closed the door.

will u be continuing the vi x reader 💔

hello anon! thank you for your question 🤍

I honestly don't know if a sequel is necessary for this story, but I will write it if a good idea comes up.