fisheatingowntail

Latest Posts by fisheatingowntail

waving a spring onion around is pretty fun. the blue haired dame was onto something

this bot that just followed me is making me absolutely fucking lose it

spoilers for fire walk with me but laura palmer dies at the end btw

pathologic but it’s a late 90′s visual novel

experimental linguists hard at work in a top secret facility to discover the Ultimate Universal Slur

oc

Going through tsumihoroboshi now and holy shit I see how ya came to Rena falling into Q. Question is: did she fall into Q in more recent years or did she fall into the reactionary current earlier with something like gamergate or even earlier with something like Wakefield's vaccine scare?

The term 'Pastel QAnon' refers to, specifically, a conscious attempt on the part of QAnoners to reach out to and recruit new agey and more "crunchy" audiences. It feels genuinely surreal to point this out but even like 10 years ago being a New Age type/embracing nonsense about vaccines etc wasn't uniformly coded as "right-wing." QAnoners actively worked to bring them into the fold. To put it mildly, this aesthetic, of new-agey health stuff, pastel instagram infographics, etc, is all extremely heavily coded as feminine, or at least used to be. Rena, coping with previous traumas, superstitious by explicit ideological choice, and armed with a battery of complexes about her femininity, is ideal grist for this mill. I have very little trouble seeing her falling down a social media rabbithole sometime during the pandemic. This is arguably what we see happen.

you’re the only friend i need!

I want to play Fallen London again but the problem with Fallen London is that while you're playing it's all perfectly simple and ingrained but the moment you step away for like, a month, then when you come back suddenly the entire game is like "If you really want to continue this storyline you'll have to get 9 Whispers of a Lovelorn Dream and sell them to an authoritarian rabbit in the 87.2th circle of hell where it'll bestow on you the Token of an Inadequate Perfume-Maker, but first you'll need to buy the Indefatigable Jetski from the Fulminating Dowager at Watchmaker's Hill by collecting enough Pieces of the Flayed Corpse of God and converting them into Baptized Rat Kings." and I'm like wow I cannot believe how recently I understood what all of that meant. but now I. do not.

Drew this while my friends were being too loud in the VC

i love reddit so fucking much

Shahanshah Ardashir I (r. 224–242) receiving the Ring of Power from Ahura Mazda, Naqsh-e Rustam, Sasanian, 3rd century CE.

for people who haven't been exposed to trader joes lentils for my wife guy, you're welcome

giving eraserhead baby a happy childhood

aborted otaku older sister: i would have loved to yell at you for touching my $200 scale figure.. if i were alive..

Max Kurzweil - The artist’s wife (Martha Kurzweil, sleeping on a divan), 1902

look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons

Humans show up in the Silmarillon like a game patch. Halflings too. Hmm.

“First things first: we actually do know what elves called their dicks, because even the glorious JRRT couldn’t keep his hands out of his pants. The poetic term (yes, elves seem to have engaged in erotic poetry) would be gwî, but for everyday usage gwib was the preferred term. Puntl is provided as the coarse, moderately transgressive term, and likely what you would be invited to suck if you went down on a male elf. Alas, due to the ban on the Noldorin language, we have no surviving slang for Fëanor’s johnson. Second, if we assume that JRRT’s intention is the guiding light for inferred details of the history and function of Arda, we are left with several clues as to the genital features of elves. In early drafts of the Silmarillion and pre-LotR writings that would eventually give rise to the War of the Ring, JRRT called them “gnomes” rather than “elves,” a detail that reflects his internal monologue about them and is consistent with his para-LotR writings about them, including mutilations, betrayals, incest, genocide, colonial violence, and misotheistic rebellion. His mental image during the construction of Ardan history was almost certainly closer to the Rankin-Bass imagery than the Peter Jackson interpretation. Thus we are left to interpret the idea of gnomes– a Paracelsean ideology tied closely to alchemy– and of their Germanic and Norse equivalents, nature and household spirits that include classic Germanic dweorgs (that is, dwarves) but with the added qualification of tallness as a common indicator of worthiness. I discern here between dwarf-figures of Greek and British mythology, which tend to be lusty, massively endowed pranksters, and gnomes/dweorgs, which are rarely cast in a sexual light. Some textual support could be interpreted for the influence of Pan on the elves, given that Silvan elves (and their Rivendell cousins) are singing, dancing, merry-making, traveler-harassing figures throughout the books. If we adhere to this interpretation, elves are probably packing huge veiny wangs that could put your fucking eye out while you’re trying to slip em the suck. I feel that it is, however, more likely that JRRT would have viewed his elves as more romantic and less sexual. Certainly they reproduce at an exceedingly slow rate and for an incredibly small window of their adult lives. A Panic elf would be extremely unlikely to live for two thousand or more years and sire no more than three or four offspring. For this reason, we are most likely dealing with the less overt sexual characteristics of a Paracelsean elf, which rules out giant Priapus-style horse cocks that are eternally bone-ready, but leaves us with less to go on than we might need, if we’re gonna pour a giant silicone elf dick. Ah, but now we’ve alluded to reproductive evidence of elvish sexual activity, and down this road we find some very interesting possibilities. For one thing, the gnomes of Paracelsus were closely related to the concept of the homunculus, and tended to be sexless or at most secondary-masculine (think garden gnomes). We can assume, in combination with the romantic, Victorianistic leanings of JRRT, that male elves were not afflicted with unwanted boners, and found it fairly simple to reserve their sexual activity to intramarital intercourse. Additionally, in the extracurricular writing Laws and Customs of the Elves (LACE henceforth), we find some fascinating aspects of elvish sexuality laid bare. Elves are incapable, it seems, of adultery, which actually kills them. They are also heavily implied to be incapable of masturbation, and are explicitly hesitant to remarry after the death of a spouse, which carries over into the Silmarillion, when Fëanor’s father seeks permission from the spirit of his mother (who has died in childbirth) to remarry. Clearly, something about their physiology and/or psychology is not compatible in any way with promiscuity, and the consequences of promiscuity can be literally fatal. The lethality of sex can, I feel, be best comprehended as an immune function similar to rH incompatibility between mother and fetus. It would, from an evolutionary standpoint, benefit a male elf (ellyn) to be certain that his offspring are actually his own, since their gestation and childhood are protracted and may consume a great deal of resources. This may have resulted in a gradual evolutionary arms race, in which an ellyn might conjugate not only his genetic material but also a dose of antibodies and/or chimeric B-cells, which are keyed to attack all sperm without his specific antigen set. In return, the female elf (or elleth) might perhaps develop her own antibody/B-cell dosage, but this begs the question of how to confer them to the male, since transmission of microbes from vagina to penis is much less reliable than the inverse. I am getting a horrible idea and I will refer back to this concept in a moment. So assuming that extramarital sex results in autoimmune-induced death similar to anaphylaxis in mechanism, we ask ourselves: what about the other compelling aspect of elvish sexuality, that of interbreeding with humans? Leaving out the question of DNA compatibility– which is demonstrated in canon, and which we must accept as legitimate if we are to consider this topic at all– we have a disturbing question to address. We have multiple incidents throughout the history of Beleriand and Middle-Earth of elven/human offspring, all of which occur between a Man and an elleth. Given that the two species are capable of creating not only hybrids but fertile hybrids (Elrond produced three offspring), it is foolish to imagine that in all of Ardan history there was never a potential ellyn-woman romance that resulted in offspring, unless there was something preventing reproduction between ellyn and woman that did not exist between man and elleth. The safest bet is not that all ellyn-woman romances remained chaste– anyone who’s met a teenager can tell you better than that– but that ellyn-woman sexual activity is incapable of producing offspring. This is extremely unusual, as the most obvious reason for sex-discriminant infertility is more likely to favor female humans than male humans. Human ova contain mitochondria, while human sperm consume their mitochondrial power for motility and do not confer mitochondrial DNA to their offspring. Either something is happening on an immune/cellular level, which would seem to conflict with our immunological theory of lethal adultery, or something is happening on the mechanical level– something which is, perhaps, related to the transference of female immune material to the male partner. Perhaps, to put it crudely, the ellyn just can’t get it up. In humans, the penis consists of several structures of erectile tissue which cradle the urethra between them. This specialized tissue is capable of interrupting venous return, creating penile engorgement and thus erection by trapping blood within the corpus cavernosum. This tissue is notoriously indiscriminant about stimuli, making it easy for male humans to ejaculate without even the participation of another human. Elves, on the other hand, can’t even masturbate, an activity so universal among species with external genitalia that it’s almost unimaginable for a species capable of poetry to be incapable of wanking. And yet human males can couple with elven females. This implies some weird-ass shit, so I suggest you pour yourself that drink right now. Male elves achieve erection by external constriction. To have sex, they need some biological equivalent of a cock ring. Whether their penises are “innies” or just flaccid except during intercourse, they are incapable of restricting venous return on their own… and yet the elven vulva must be compatible to some degree with penetration, or else man/elleth coupling wouldn’t produce offspring. One may, if one is willing to consider extreme possibilities, entertain the idea that the elven vulva may exhibit some mechanical trait that assists the ellyn in achieving erection by constriction, by restricting venous return through strangulation. Something that would not put off human males universally, although it might make man/elleth couplings more rare and account for the relative scarcity of elf/human offspring. Something that would make it impossible for an ellyn to penetrate a woman, or to achieve orgasm and ejaculation with a human female. Something that would even allow the ellyn to contribute internal disposition of antibodies and B-cells reliably, potentially through urethral penetration of the penis. The elvish vulva, my friends, consists of outer labia, inner labia, a vaginal vestibule opening on a penetrable vaginal canal, and a set of tentacles. In elven intercourse, the vulval tentacles constrict and penetrate the flaccid penis, simultaneously permitting/inducing erection and depositing immune bodies deep in the genitourinary tract, most likely the bladder, where they can swim up the ureters to the renal anastomosis and infiltrate the bloodstream. The erect elvish penis is then able to deposit its genetic– and immune– material within the vagina. Human females, having no corollary to these tentacles, can arouse a male elf and even engage in non-PIV sexual activity, but can never obtain genetic material from male elves, and therefore no ellyn/woman pregnancies occur. For human females, this means you can have a hot elf boyfriend that can never get you pregnant, but he’s likely to leave you eventually for somebody who can actually get him off. Male elves probably got the fuck around in Middle-Earth, since they could chow down on human pussy for decades before settling down with a nice elleth who would get knocked up as soon as they exchanged fluids. For human males, this means that you’re totally capable of landing a hot lady elf, as long as you don’t mind her tentacles crawling up your dick every time you shark her in the ass while she’s asleep, and as long as you don’t mind that she can totally cheat on you and in fact might have chosen to fuck you specifically because she can screw around behind your back without breaking out in a fatal case of hives. Aragorn was one kinky-ass fucker. And if you read all the way through this drunken, giggling spiel, the silicone elf dick you’re looking for is of normal to generous proportion, but it’s strangled up and down with simulated tentacles, or at least constricted by a really tight cock ring. I thought way the fuck too much about this. I consulted the LACE about this. Fuck every last one of you for goading me into this nightmare of grisly overanalytic humiliation. I hope all your girlfriends catch you.”

— SomethingAwful poster “elise the great”, in the “Ask me about making horrific silicone fantasy dildos!” thread (via canuckerrant)

1. Any other higu internet headcannons?

2. You already mentioned Kyrie feuding with a 14 year old, so how about Umineko internet headcannons? (There is one character that I'm not sure if they'd be saved or made so much worse omggggggggggggh)

uh the only other higu headcanon ive spent much time thinking about is explaining how and why everyone in the cast is at the capitol on january 6th

umineko is like yes sayo taking estrogen wouldnt solve all her problems but 50% of them seems like a reasonable benchmark

last night my partner held a somber little passover seder to show me what it’s about and when they got to the part where they were supposed to open the door for elijah they paused, frowned, and said “oh. huh. there is a clown.” and I looked out. and sure enough. there was a clown.

was talking with a friend who pointed out that higurashi is the one horror franchise where the characters having phones would actually make things much worse and decided to game out how the internet would ruin the casts' lives.

Rena: fullly Pastel QAnon-pilled. Has not been vaccinated and believes that hillary clinton is a lizard person. shows up to local school board meetings with a cup of her own menses she's ready to fling at people.

Keiichi: either one of the rare people stupid enough to actually become addicted to porn or he becomes like. Mr. Beast. He's not naturally unscrupulous and probably avoids scamming people but in the absence of real friendships he's the most dedicated and successful hollow attention-hound in human history.

Satoshi: learns about femboys and starts posting pics of himself in a maid dress. Is manipulated by channers into posting lewds of himself on social media.

Mion: learns about non-binary people and goes oh. OHHHHHH. begins to consider if moving to the city for a bit might help her find some new ways of expressing herself.

Shion: reigning moderator of r/femaledatingstrategies. locked in a neverending duel for control of the subreddit with Kyrie, who does not know that her mortal enemy is a teenaged girl.

Rika: somethingawful deadender. has not left the house in years. tweets with dril-like concision.

takano: basically just that rocket scientist dildo saleswoman convincing people to engage in white supremacist mass shootings. honestly the internet doesnt change her very much it just makes her an even greater danger to society at large.

irie: dont even need to say it do i

satoko: we couldnt quite figure her out. friend argued for 'general-purpose replyguy hater,' i argued 'fandom anti.'

1710 Unknown artist - Portrait of an elderly woman from Konstanz, probaby Katharina Werh, née Büttner, wife of the mayor of Konstanz, Jakob Georg Werh

(Badisches Landesmuseum)

cant forgive one of my coworkers because our advisor came into the office and was giving us a very sad speech that he had to make us work more hours and he was very upset about this fact and we all had to be very somber listening to him when to my right this guys computer flashes into sleep mode which happens to reveal this image that i then had to look at and not lose my shit over even a little bit

Hamlet (1921)

Melchior d'Hondecoeter, Dead Cock Hanging from a Nail, 1670. Oil on canvas.

Courtesy Alain Truong

In Curious Village, when Layon and Luke entered a new location, we'd get a lil video like this showing the location. I think there are 6 in the game, but I can only upload one at a time to Tumblr. By Pandora's Box, they no longer did the videos, probably to save on resources. What's interesting here is that the river that Ramon stands by doesn't appear in the grounds.