Im At A Restaurant Right Now And There's This Like 16 Year Old Kid Sitting At The Table Next To Me Completely

im at a restaurant right now and there's this like 16 year old kid sitting at the table next to me completely alone with like 6 racks of ribs. hes eating like 1 rib every 10 seconds and the poor server who was assigned to him has to keep getting him new ribs. ive been here for an hour just watching this kid inhale ribs like he's gonna die the next day. he probably will given the amount of hot sauce he put on them

As Promised! A Recipe for Kipsha (Sort of)

Hello everyone! A few days ago I said that, as a way to celebrate reaching 100 followers that I would make one of the dishes from the setting of my WIP. And I did that! Kind of. You see it turns out that Sainsbury's or at least Google, lied to me, and so I was unable to find barely which was a necessary component of this recipe. Even worse when I returned home I found that the only wheat flour that I had was self-rising. And so, I did not make Kipsha (recipe here) which is eaten in the western and central parts of Kishetal, rather I made Kipisa which is eaten on eastern border of Kishetal and Makur in cities like Kutar and Nabi (shown below).

The primary difference between Kipsha and Kipisa is the grain used. Kipisa is made with rye while Kipsha is made with barley. In addition, Kipisa is often served with butter. Butter as a culinary ingredient is almost entirely limited to the eastern plains, where it preferred to or eaten alongside olive oil. Saramuk Ukishiya, meaning "Butter Eater" (Saramuk coming from the Lakuri word for butter, Shayram) is a common derrogatory term used to refer to those people living in the region shown above. The recipe is below the cut!

Kipisa

Kipsha or Kipisa or Kipcha is a kind of cake or biscuit commonly eaten by the wealthy and poor alike. It can vary wildly from soft and spongy to harder and more cracker like. It is a popular form of street food and can be served as savory or sweet. In savory applications honey is typically forgone and olive oil may be replaced with various varieties of animal fat. All varieties contain some amount of barley or more rarely, rye, however examples meant for nobility may contain up to 70 or even 90%.

The name Kipsha is a reference to the sesame and/or poppy seeds used in and sprinkled over the top. Kip being the Kishic word for seed or grain. Though it may also refer to an infant, thus part of the cake's association with fertility.

This recipe is for Sweet Kipisa, as it is enjoyed in the city of Kutar. A similar varient is eaten just across the mountains in Labisa, though here they make use of barley rather rye. It is this barley variety, Kipsha, which is my MC, Narul's favorite dish.

This particular variety of Kipsia is cracker-like, with a slightly chewy interior.

Ingredients

Note: For those ingredients which are not available on earth, approximate substitutes are provided.

The Cakes

(Note that Kishetal has no distinct set of measurements nor are recipes recorded. Recipes are typically passed down orally and differ greatly between regions and even families. Adjust ingredients to one's own liking)

1 ¾ cups Rye Flour

1 ¼ Unbleached Wheat Flour

½ cup Water

1 Tbsp Olive Oil or Untoasted Sesame Oil

2 Tbsp Sweet White Wine (Riesling or Muscat are suggested)

3 Tbsp Kafa (This Kishic yogurt drink can be substituted with equal parts plain greek yogurt and whole milk)

2 Tbsp Honey

1 Tbsp Red Wine Vinegar

2 ½ Tsp Untoasted White Sesame Seeds

½ Tsp Sinrian Cinnamon (Substitute Cassia Cinnamon)

¼ Tsp Ground Black Pepper

Toppings

1. This are meant to reflect Narul’s Preferred Toppings, though with the addition of more typically eastern additions

1-2 Dried figs chopped (Fresh figs may be substituted)

3 Tbsp Honey, warmed

2 Tbsp Regula Juice (Substitute 1:1 parts orange and lemon juice)

Ground black pepper to taste

Sesame Seeds to taste

Chibalan Salt to taste (Substitute: Flake Salt)

Torn mint leaves

Goat Butter, melted (Cow or sheep is also acceptable)

2. Other Toppings

Unsalted soft cheese such as ricotta

Yogurt

Dates

Crushed nuts (typically walnuts or pistachios)

Chopped Cherries or other fruits

Preparation

1. Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl.

2. In a different bowl combine all liquid ingredients and whisk thoroughly.

3. Combine wet and dry ingredients, knead using your hands to form a firm ball, add water and flour as needed to achieve this.

4. Cover the dough with a damp towel and allow it to rest at room temperature for a minimum of 1 hour and a maximum of 4.

5. Preheat oven to 400 F or 200 C (fan 195 C).

6. Liberally dust a counter or large cutting board with rye flour. Dust a rolling pin or similar instrument with flour.

7. Place the rested dough onto the floured surface and roll out to approximately 1/4 inch

8. Using a biscuit cutter or knife, cut dough into cakes, these can be any number of shapes, delicately score the surface.

9. Place cakes on a covered cookie sheet making sure that they do not touch.

10. Bake for 10-15 minutes until golden or lightly browned.

11. Remove and immeditately apply melted butter, honey, and regalu juice to surface. Allow to sit and cool for at least 5 minutes (Kipisa is not eaten hot. The more time is allowed for the absorption of the toppings, the better)

12. Once cool, add additional toppings. It is not unusual at this point to add additional butter and honey, nor is it unheard to dip the cake in the regalu juice and butter while eating it.

13. Enjoy!

I probably should have a taglist but I don't know who all would be on it, whoops. So I'm just tagging my followers that liked the original post @patternwelded-quill , @skyderman , @flaneurarbiter , @jclibanwrites , @alnaperera, @rhokisb, @blackblooms , @lord-nichron , @kosmic-kore , @friendlyshaped , @axl-ul , @talesfromtheunknowable , @wylanzahn , @dyrewrites , @foragedbonesblog