Flr-philosophy - Quintessence Of FLR

How to be a good husband

Disclaimer: FLRs differ from one another, and this is not by any means meant to apply to everyone.

Show your Wife proper respect

The way you conduct yourself around your Wife is very important. You must make sure that your submission is expressed implicitly, and explicitly in the way you interact with your Wife.

Lowering yourself to greet your Wife is a common and effective show of submission, whether it be: kneeling, bowing, prostrating, etc. Couple this gesture with something along the lines of “How may I serve, Goddess.” Make sure that you do this the moment She enters the room, regardless of what you’re doing, so that She knows you have no priority higher than Her.

In the same vein, keep your head lowered in Her presence after the initial greeting. It helps to cement the mutual understanding that you are beneath Her.

When given an order, act quickly. Show some urgency! Show Her you’re worthy with an enthusiastic “yes, ma’am!” This lets Her know that She is being taken seriously, and that you are paying attention. However, make sure go at a speed where you can still fully control yourself, a clumsy husband is not useful!

When your Wife is scolding you, show Her that you are taking what She says to heart. Make sure your body is facing Her, and nod along. Make sure you acknowledge Her corrections. A sincere “I’m sorry, Goddess” or a “I understand, ma’am,” can go a long way. The best default position for this situation is being on your knees, with your hands folded on your lap, bowing your head. You must make sure She knows you understand and are ashamed of your mistakes, and that you know what you need to fix.

When your Wife raises Her hand, you might flinch, it’s only natural. But never attempt to block Her, or dodge away. These are signs of resistance. DO NOT RESIST YOUR WIFE! You may drop to your knees, but keep your body straight, and your face exposed. Do not beg for mercy, simply apologize for your wrongdoings. You may even want to thank Her for giving you harsh correctional measures! Remember that serving your Wife is your purpose, She is only helping you fulfill that purpose when She punishes you.

Learn what is expected of you

Know what your Wife typically wants from you. You should keep a schedule, it’s unacceptable if She has to remind you to cook dinner everyday. There are certain jobs that you should just do without your Wife having to order you.

Have an idea of what responsibilities you have to attend to. Wake up at the right time to make breakfast fresh, so that it’s hot and ready the moment She wakes up! Know what time She finishes work, and start dinner so that it will be ready when She’s back. Clean, dust, mop, do the menial tasks that your Wife is above.

These are just commonplace duties for a husband, but you must cater to your Wife’s specific expectations as well. Maybe She likes a foot rub while She eats, comply without Her having to command you! Show Her that you are of some worth to Her, that you are capable of serving Her effectively!

Know what you must do on a day-to-day basis, on weekends, and for special occasions. Your Wife should never have to remind you to do something that you do on a regular basis. Your Wife should not have to micromanage you. Understand Her expectations, you should make life more convenient for Her, not more stressful.

Work on your appearance

To start off with the basics, make sure you have proper hygiene and grooming habits. Work these things into your schedule so as not to bother your Wife, preferably when She’s out of the house. Also make sure to know Her preferences! Cut your hair the way She wants, shave however much She prefers, apply whatever cologne She finds appealing.

For clothing, defer to your Wife’s preference. Remember that you don’t have autonomy over the way you present yourself. You belong to you Wife, so must dress the way She wants you to.

This also applies to your figure! Your Wife might want muscle bound, built, toned, thin. Whatever Her preference, work yourself to meet Her standards. Never forget the nature of your relationship with Her, you are property. By allowing Her to dictate the way you look, you are offering another part of you to Her. It is a wonderful sign of devotion, sacrifice, and subservience. Women are above men, we are objects for Women to use as they see fit. 

Go above and beyond

Everyone needs relaxation from time to time, but do not get complacent. If you find that you have a few hours of free time regularly, ask your Wife for more responsibility. Your job is to serve Her, not to sit around.

You might consider getting a part time job. Help pay the bills, it might free up some extra cash so that your Wife can indulge Herself. And you know that She deserves it, so get out there! (As long as you have Her permission).

You could incorporate yardwork and gardening into your schedule, make the house nice and tidy inside and out. Just remember to always run your suggestions past your Wife, She knows better, and you should always defer to Her judgement.

Some situations may call for a bit of initiative. Make sure that when you act outside of both what is routine, and explicit commands, that you should be extra careful. With that warning aside, let’s consider an example. Say your Wife comes home and She’s silent, disgruntled, just generally in a bad mood. She might be hung up on something frustrating that happened during the day. Fetch Her paddle, whip, etc. Crawl to Her, ask if She would like to use you. Let Her take out Her frustrations out on you. Then while She eats your homecooked dinner, rub Her feet, worship Her Pussy, whatever She wants. Let Her know that the moment She comes home, She should feel in charge, and be waited on by an adoring husband.

Be what She wants you to be

This is the golden rule, as the true sign of submission is obedience

The above are general guidelines on how to serve Her properly, but ALWAYS defer to her wishes. It’s fine to have preferences, but remember how meaningless your they are when compared to Hers

Guys think with their cocks. So controlling a cock is mind control. Chastity IS brain washing.

Don't be presumptuous

We're halfway through locktober and if you're anything like me the desperation and distraction is really taking hold. I see a lot of content that fantasises about this being a time of constant teasing. The reality might be coming home from work, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, giving your Goddess a massage, then busying yourself for an hour or two before bed.

This is where it gets difficult. You aren't entitled to any kind of sexual gratification. Yeah, you want to be horny and easily controlled. But it's Her decision whether to reward you or not, and part of your training should be learning not to be more bratty than She desires.

To be the best submissive you can be, you have to get over the urges to chase your own satisfaction. You get plenty of chances to give in to them when She initiates and wants to use your desperation to manipulate you. That's the time to melt into a horny mess.

50 Ways to Lead Your Luvr

For the new Dommes out there who just don’t know where to start, or have trouble thinking of ways to project dominance, here are some fairly tame ideas you can use to get things going, and have him submit to you. As the Domme, you set the pace, so take your time and keep it fun.

Start out with a few that you like and see how he responds to them. When you feel comfortable proceeding, add others and come up with your own ideas. If you really enjoy any of them and want them to continue, make it into  a rule.

1. Order him to massage your feet with foot lotion, anytime you please.

2. You decide when it’s time for him to get a haircut. He never gets one without your permission.

3. Whenever going out together, you decide who drives.

4. Sneak up to him randomly and slip a blindfold, or a hood on him. It stays on until you remove it.

5. As your sub, he should be pleasing to the eye. Any clothing he wears must be approved by you. Make him give to charity anything that you don’t approve of or cut them up into dust rags.

6. Protect him from any critisism from others. As his domme, only you are allowed to critisize him.

7. Randomly order him to stay in his pyjamas for the entire day. Everybody likes to stay in their pyjamas all day once in a while when nothing’s going on but it’s a little different if your are forbidden to get dressed. Make him your pyjama boy for a day.

8. Teach him that you value his input when making decisions, but final decisions are yours to make, alone.

9. He is to greet you at the door everytime you come home to him. Anything you purchased, he will fetch from the vehicle. You only carry your purse into the house, or make him carry it in as well.

10. Make it a habit to grab a handfull of his hair and gently tug it whenever you kiss him.

11. Teach him to always communicate with you in a submissive manner. He never interrupts you whenever you speak. However, you may interrupt him anytime you please, and he must be quiet instantly and listen whenever you do. Never allow him to use sarcasm, ever. He follows all conversation and never tries to change the subject. He never raises his voice at you for any reason. Keep a ballgag handy to punish any improper communication.

12. Have him go down on you, anytime, anywhere you please.

13. Create a no standing rule for urination in your home. If at any time you decide that a toilet isn’t clean enough for your standards, he must scrub it immediately, anytime day or night.

14. Whenever he enters your vehicle, he needs your permission to exit it. He doesn’t ask. If you leave the vehicle he just sits and waits unless you tell him “come along dear’ or something similar.

15. Randomly order him to get naked immediately, and he will need your permission to get dressed again.

16. Are there any words that annoy you? Tell him to never use that word, ever again. Make him keep a list of them and anytime you hear him say a word you don’t like, make him add it to the list. You can make him choose another word to replace it, or you can insist he uses a specific word.

17. Only you may initiate mouth kissing. If he wants to kiss you, make him kiss your hand, or foot. You decide if it leads to mouth kissing.

18. As his Domme, you deserve to have his complete undivided attention, so make him keep his eyes on you whenever you speak. If he looks away, stop what you are saying, grab his chin and turn his face back towards yourself and say “EYES ON ME WHEN I’M SPEAKING” in a firm but gentle voice, and pick up the discussion where you left off.  

If you ever feel he hasn’t been listening properly, make him repeat back to you what was said, and if he gets it wrong, make him stand with his nose in the corner to punish him. If he won’t give you his undivided attention, you shouldn’t give him any attention. This will teach him to respect you, as a proper sub never only half listens to his Domme.

19. Have him sit at your feet often. If he wants to sit beside you on the sofa, he should ask your permission. You decide if he sits beside you or at your feet.

20. When you want to do something dominant to him but can’t think of anything, just grab a chain and two padlocks and chain him to something, give him a passionate kiss, and walk away without saying a word. Ignore him (unless he is in distress) while you do whatever you want. He will feel very owned and controlled.

21. Expect him to come to you immediately when called. He shouldn’t run, but he should show a sense of urgency when approaching you. Only accept excuses if he was doing something time sensitive, for example, if he was making supper, and the food would be overcooked if he came to you immediately.

22. Use his hand as a leash in public. When you hold his hand to lead him around, he isn’t allowed to let go of your hand. If you lead him up to an object and put his hand on it, he is parked in place and isn’t allowed to let go of that object until you come back, grab his hand, and lead him away. Leading him around by the hand in public is a very subtle way to display your dominance without anybody realizing it.

23. Teach him to ask permission to be excused and explain why anytime he wants to leave your presence. Occasionally refuse permission.

24. Be physically forceful. Grab him by the throat and force him against the wall in a passionate kiss. Grab a handful of hair and pull him to where you want him. Grab his earlobe and drag him down to a kneeling position at your feet.  Come up with your own ways to physically dominate him..

25. With the exception of gas, food, and gifts for you, any buying or selling will require your approval.

26. One of a submissive males greatest traits is the ability to wait patiently. Teach him by making him wait for you in various circumstances. Also teach him that keeping you waiting without a very good reason is unacceptable and punishable.

27. Write your signature on his shoulder blade or buttocks with an indelible marker. The more you train him, the more he becomes your work of art, so sign him like a painting.

28. Whether as a punishment or randomly, make him get down on the floor and give you 20 pushups.

29. Randomly lock his wrists behind his back while he is relaxing around the house. Tell him that his hands are tools to serve you, and if he isn’t using them for that purpose, they should be put away. Padded leather ones are best, especially if you plan to keep him in them for a while. Fistmitts make a great alternative and are more comfortable.

30. Teach him to do specific things(eg. housework), exactly the way you want it done, so that you can command him to do it anytime in the future. Your way is always the correct way, even if it’s not the most efficient way.

31. Whenever you plan to purchase something, have him research the best brands for price, reliability, quality, and features, giving you a list of the best top 5 to purchase. Have him give a short presentation while kneeling before you on what he’s learned.

32. Bend him over your lap and spank him whenever you like. You don’t have to hurt him. Just the act of being put over your lap will humble him, and make you feel powerful.

33. Teach him a command, or hand gesture, or both to silence him instantly. Teach him another one that lets him speak again.

34. Never allow him to eat his favorite treat (eg. chocolate) unless it comes directly from your hand. Tell him if he wants it bad enough, he may beg for it and you’ll give it to him, most times.

35. Random buttplugging. Whenever he is at home you can randomly approach him with a prelubed buttplug, and he has to bend over immediately to accept it. He’s not allowed to remove it himself.

36. Forbid him to ever say “I” or “me” when referring to himself while speaking to you in private.

37. Randomly, gently slap his face once in a while just to remind him who’s in charge. A gentle backhand is all that’s needed. It shouldn’t hurt, just humble him. Have him kiss the hand that slaps him to display his submission.

38. Make him ask permission before having an orgasm.

39. Make him ask permission before leaving home. If you aren’t home when he wants to leave, he must text you for permission. If you live apart, this applies to leaving his home as well as yours.

40. Maintenance Tickling. They say laughter is the best medicine, so medicate him with a tickle session occasionally. Tie him in place so that he is totally helpless and under your complete control. Start tickling. Your task is to keep him smiling, laughing or giggling for at least half an hour. Give him breaks between short tickling sessions, but he has to keep a smile on his face.

41. Paint his toenails. You can make him do it himself, but I guarantee it will have more of an impact on him if you grab his feet, remove his socks, and paint them yourself. After you’re done, tell him how pretty his toes are now and tell him you like the new look you have picked for him and if he removes it, he will be sorry. Make him walk around the house barefoot and show them off to you.

By doing this, you are asserting the right to control his body. It will give you a feeling of power everytime you see his painted toes, because you made it happen, and make it continue to happen. He in turn will feel submissive, because he knows you are in control of his body, moreso than him.

42. Instant Puppy. Pick a command word and a counter command word for this. Whenever you say the command word, he has to go silent immediately and get down on his hands and knees. Until you say the counter command word, he has to remain silent and keep one hand touching the floor or the ground at all times.

43. If he sleeps in your bed, he has to be chained to it. Ankle chain to the bedframe is best.

44. Control his alcohol intake. Every drink containing alcohol he consumes will have consequences. For instance, a half hour of cornertime or bent over your lap and 5 swats on the butt per drink consumed.

45. Step on his head with one foot pressing it to the floor while forcing the toes of your other foot into his mouth.

46. Lock something on his body that he can’t remove himself. It can be a collar, wristcuffs, an anklet, or just wrap a chain around his waist and padlock it there. I bought 2 ‘ring of steel’ types cuffs off of the internet and like to lock both of them on one of his wrists. The sound and feel of them rattling together as he does things around home are a constant reminder that someone else has more control over his body than he does.

47. If he doesn’t eat enough vegetables, make him eat one meal a week containing only cut up vegetables, from a bowl on the floor, without using his hands.

48. Have him suckle your breasts anytime and for as long as you wish. It feels great, and is a lovely way to bond with him.

49. Electronic leash. Use tracking software on his phone so that you know exactly where he is at all times. To ensure his phone is with him all the time, Set your own phone up to send scheduled texts that he must answer within 10 minutes.

50. Occasionally when you leave home by yourself, chain his ankles so that the whole time you are gone, he can only take slow, small steps. It will make him feel your control even when you aren’t home with him.

Privilege

I think a lot of submissives forget just what a privilege it is to be able to serve her, and how special it is.

First of all, submissives must let go of their own fantasies to truly enjoy the benefits of what submission really is. It must become about serving her, her pleasure, her needs, her desires, her fantasies, and her way of doing things. It's all about becoming hers.

The fact that she chooses you, keeps you in a chastity cage, and allows you to serve her, is a huge privilege that very few others ever get the opportunity of doing so. Once you have Mistress, she is to be cherished! You are being granted access to her, not just her body, but on an emotional level as well.

The D/s dynamic isn't just about sex. It's about the entire lifestyle, and connection you create with each other. That's something special. The fact that she likes you enough to want to dominant you, and make you hers, is a huge privilege.

She doesn't have to grant you access to her body, whether that be, with your mouth, or your penis. Any access to her is a privilege. She doesn't share herself with anyone else that way. You're her rock, she comes home to you, and you pleasure all of her sexual needs. She holds you responsible for all that, what a privilege!

When she gives you this privilege, she is no longer afraid to hold back. She can be upfront about all of her desires, and she will tell you exactly what she expects of you. She gets to use you as her personal sex slave, and you get to be there for all of it. You get to be there to help her learn and grow, and this helps you grow deeper into submission to her.

Allowing you to taste all parts of her body, to worship her, her scent alone is a privilege. To see her completely relaxed while giving a massage, and falls asleep because you did such a good job, this is a privilege. She expects you to be there to serve because of this privilege. You are hers.

Belonging to her is the biggest privilege you can have. It was never about getting off, or making her do things to cater to your fantasies, or topping from the bottom. Don't undermine her, don't insult the privilege she's giving you by allowing you to serve her.

Understand the privilege she is giving you. Understand your place at her feet. Even her feet are a privilege. You see? Access to her body is a privilege, not a right. So honor that privilege by serving her the way she wants to be served, and becoming the obedient boy she deserves. She chose you!

Want to have the FLR of your dreams?

Check out the Practical FLR book series here!

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