How Come I Could Be Somewhat Related To A Character Like This ^~^

THE X-FILES | 1.05

actually OBSESSED with this take… glad to see someone else in this fandom rising up to the occasion!! lol fr though this analysis is simply wonderful and i really like the idea that emilia had to escape from an abusive situation which has shaped who they are as a person, giving them some hard edges. emilia is quick to like jerma, but they’re also very critical and defensive - something i think could mirror this theory! like they need to be in control ( maybe because they’ve had a lack of it for so long ) and have a difficult time maintaining the idea that someone likes them for who they are, rather than simply using them. the entire maid service is built upon the idea that the “sexy maid” is used for some sexual gain but as you said, jerma flips the script and doesn’t do this.

emilia has grown so accustomed to people using and hurting them that they are floored by jerma’s behavior. of course, it’s not entirely restrictive - jerma does flirt - but this is something that emilia actually seems partial to in a genuine way! even growing defensive when jerma doesn’t seem to think they’re immediately sexy. maybe this potential ex put emilia down a lot and the maid service is their way of gaining back some of that love / control they never had in that relationship. plus, they seem pretty eager to go on this date with jerma, so i wouldn’t be surprised if they’re desperate to put this past behind them in any way possible and simply move on. and like you mentioned, hearing jerma think they’re beautiful - in every way, shape, and form - is something they didn’t know they needed to hear, and perhaps had never heard in their life.

definitely agree that emilia wanted revenge and was hurt by what happened! jerma never truly apologized, or at least not so soon after what happened, and i think that could’ve made emilia feel like they were used again - something which would hit hard. especially because it seems like they were starting to trust jerma to be a good person. but that trust is broken and emilia does go out of their way to destroy jerma’s life, in a mix of hilarity and tragedy ( as this stream so often shows ). emilia and jerma could’ve been beautiful together, but outside forces tore them apart and i think that’s genuinely sad, when if they had just communicated better i think they would’ve been fine! but that’s a lot of what this stream is about - outside forces - and how they shape you as a person, so i think it makes sense in the end. always gonna hope they have a future in another life though <3

thanks for responding to my info dump and giving me some tidbits on emilia!! this was fun to whip up in response, so if you have anything else, feel free to share! i’m all ears lol. us jerma dollhouse fans gotta stick together yk?

actually so sad that there are no analyses on jerma dollhouse …. aside from the 2 on youtube i saw but they talk more about the general themes of the story / bringing theater to twitch in a creative and successful way. haven’t seen anything on the characters and i’m kinda starved for that rn! i think i’m too stupid to try my hand at an analysis, but a character study on jerma or emilia or even someone like jebediah would be so fun methinks. whether that would be ignoring chat’s involvement in the whole thing or making it a part of the analysis … would be fun to throw that out the window though and treat the characters ( mainly jerma ) as their own people who act on things themselves rather than being told or forced to. like why is jerma so flirty. is this learned behavior? a defense mechanism?? why is he like that??? it puts him in the most awkward, uncomfortable situations and i wanna know WHY !! again shoving chat to the back of my mind here, just pretending jerma has complete self-control and acts on his own whims … why does he act like that.

obviously i’m taking this stream / story way too seriously but i don’t care it’s what i do!! treating comedy and crack as seriously as possible is what i find the most fun in life. and jerma’s story here is a mixture of hilarious and tragic, something i desperately want to analyze, but again, not sure if i necessarily have the capabilities to. though there would be certain things i’d want to comment on, such as : jerma and emilia’s relationship, dying and escaping death ( then ruining your life by adding on some extra years ), jerma’s friendships and interactions with others, and the crushing weight jerma always seems to carry on his shoulders while hiding it all from the world at the very same time. just a few things i really enjoyed during the stream and would love to talk about if possible. hell, maybe i will sometime, if i can actually get my act together and analyze these characters, plots, and themes. not saying it’ll all be correct or canon, but it would be fun! bringing a bit of reality in.

anyway there’s some of my thoughts on jerma dollhouse and how much it already means to me …

Do you really think all this is an accident – that we, a group of strangers survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? Do you think we crashed on this place by coincidence – especially, this place? We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason, all of us. Each one of us was brought here for a reason.

── 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖆𝖓 ( 22, she/her )

current fixations : the mentalist, frieren, warrior cats

main fandoms : lost, the x-files, mission impossible, resident evil, outlast, the brian jonestown massacre, mysterious skin, the haunting of sunshine girl

♡ asks are always open !

This is how my brain chooses a favorite character in literally any media

that post-high moment when you realize there’s no one else to talk about bjm with, it’s not the 90s anymore, you’ll never get a cassette of the original pol-pot’s pleasure penthouse, “fade” will most likely forever be a lost track, and dig! is an 18 year old documentary on a band that no one cares about. why do i always do this lol. i think dead/obscure fandoms just call to me. perhaps it is the universe’s way of punishing me. what did i do in my past life to deserve this

i have achieved my nanowrimo goal! 20k words !!!! cannot believe it

16k/20k words for nanowrimo <3 cannot believe this actually. am i going to achieve a writing goal ?!?

JOEL GION JUST DROPPED THE PRE-ORDER FOR HIS MEMOIR ABT BEING IN BJM. I AM GOING TO GO FUCKING INSANE. no one wants this book more than me i can assure you of that. i was part of his patreon i read so many of these stories but to see them in a hardback book!???? i am not going to be the same person in february 2024. anyway i just pre-ordered his book for $36, IT WILL BE SIGNED, and i even saw that the foreword is from anton… i want to see what this bozo has to say about his bestie writing a book about him and his band. BUT I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED. might die like today could actually be my death day i am that hysterical over this news. thank you for listening

i think discovering a new bjm song i love is better than any high. literally cannot stress how much serotonin i feel the moment i hear a song i just KNOW i’m going to obsess over. as of now, the song in question is “be song.” makes me want to cry or smthing but at the same time like jam out idk. i really just feel so many things with bjm’s music that cannot be explained, and i wish i could adequately describe WHY i adore them so much, but it’s so hard to put into words. it’s an indescribable feeling of home and belonging, like something i’ve been searching for my entire life yet didn’t even know i needed until i heard their music for the first time. and like, bjm is something of mine. i discovered them on my own. it is purely the music spotify decided i would need based on my previously played songs, and for that, i only have the spotify gods and myself to thank.

the feminine urge to make a knox & silas tumblr and rant and rave about them … do my homework? no i said shoegaze