Latest Posts by frogbirb - Page 7

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*

me:

Famous cartoon characters as Pokémon evolutions. Artist • Ry-Spirit

*At the park*

Sirius: Look a dead bird!

James: *Looks up* Where?!

Crowley’s Roman Look is Very Strange

I didn’t. I didn’t want to be this person. But Aziraphale is sitting RIGHT THERE looking like A TOTALLY RESPECTABLE Roman citizen circa 40 AD. Maybe the hair might be unusual, but the Romans LOVED blonde hair. They thought it was cool and foreign and exotic in sort of a sexy way.

But Crowley is so historically confused. And I think the production design is too good and Neil Gaiman is too on top of his game for this to be accidental. It must mean something. 

I - HAIR

What is on your head Crowley. Are you the emperor? Are you a victorious general currently participating in a victory parade? 

Sure, you sometimes see laurel wreathes in portraits. But FUNERAL portraits.

That crown is a symbolic thing, to celebrate your victories in life. It’s not STREET WEAR. 

And okay. It’s 40-41 AD. Caligula is emperor. Military chic is in. If you’re a guy, you’re wearing your hair short and un-styled (LIKE AZIRAPHALE.) Those dramatic little spit curls wouldn’t show up until at least Nero. 

But actually, pulling back for a second - are you appreciating the absurdity that is this hairstyle? Because it took me a second to notice that only the FRONT HALF is curled.

Which is a Roman hairstyle. But it’s a Roman LADY hairstyle. 

(It tends to get called ‘Flavian Hair’ because the Flavian era ladies of the 70s-90s got pretty extreme about it, but you still had less… dramatic versions in the 40s.)

That’s you, Crowley. That’s your style reference. Honestly, if you had just kept your hair long everybody would have thought you were a cool barbarian chieftain or something. 

II - CLOTHES

The black is fine. It’s eccentric, but fine. Romans wore black. Wearing black was Cato the Younger’s *thing.* It gets associated with mourning and/or protest, but it would have been really visually confusing to have Crowley wear some other color. This gets a pass.

Nope, my question is about his articles of clothing. There’s a charcoal grey garment that seems to be a toga + undershirt. It’s looped over Crowley’s arm, which is a classic toga give away. 

That part’s fine. But over the top, he’s wearing a true black… short cape? Shawl? it’s really hard to tell, because whatever it is, he is NOT wearing it correctly (is it folded in half?) Also, that irregular red zigzag pattern is very strange and I do not recognize it from anywhere. Seriously, I can’t even decide on a continent for this garment.

III - JEWELRY

Emperor Nero usually gets credit for inventing the first sunglasses, after he started watching gladiators fight though a green gemstone. He won’t be emperor for about ten years. But hey, he probably got the idea from somewhere. And dark glasses are just a really sensible way to hide your snakey eyes. This is also the first time we see Crowley put up some proper emotional barriers, so it’s a good place for the glasses to be introduced. (@theladyzephyr has a wonderful meta that goes into a lot more detail here.) 

So the sunglasses are good. BUT THAT BROOCH.

Okay. This is Aziraphale wearing a fibula plate brooch

It’s a really Roman style, and a really Roman shape (a “pelta”)

I’ve never seen one that looks like angel wings, but a Roman citizen is going to look at that and see a soppily patriotic Imperial Eagle. How nice that this lovely man from Germania/Greece has made some money and become such an exemplary citizen!

But Crowley is wearing a penannular (pin-and-ring) brooch

That’s not roman. That’s a style from the British Isles (Irish, Pictish, Scottish, Welsh.) It says barbarian, boonies, outskirts of the civilized world. 

And nobody @ me with pictures of pin-and-ring brooches from Rome. Those are small, cheap, and undecorated. They’re the cultural equivalent of safety pins. This is patterned like a snake, and it’s the size of Crowley’s palm. 

AND THAT’S ANOTHER THING. They didn’t do snake-themed jewelry in the British isles. Snakes didn’t have the best cultural associations there, and there weren’t too many of them there to begin with. This isn’t something Crowley picked up because “hey, a snake, cool,” and then got attached too. This must have been commissioned special. 

But you know who LOVED snake jewelry? 

ROMANS. 

Romans associated snakes with healing and rebirth - clinics sometimes had lil snakes crawling around on the ground to give the place good vibes. 

You cannot tell me that Crowley could have existed in Rome for any length of time and not picked up some of this jewelry. Which leads me to my conclusion:

IV - CROWLEY IS EXTREMELY NEW IN TOWN

The unfashionable pin and hair? The clothing draped the wrong way? The cultural colorblindness of wearing a laurel crown when you’re not supposed to? Crowley looks like a tacky tourist because he is one. He’s not staying here long, he “just nipped in for a quick temptation.”

He’s in a bad mod because he’s had an awful day, everyone keeps looking at him funny, the temptation was a complete bust, he has culture shock, and now he’s just trying to get a drink. But they don’t have any PROPER drinks like ALE or MEAD here, so he just orders “whatever’s drinkable.” He’s even not sure what they drink in Rome. 

But then Aziraphale shows up and invites him to lunch some place fashionable. So everything’s going to be okay.

edward cullen but in the same tone as that mildly pissed off glasses wearing vape guy whose smoke trick got ruined

Welcome to Tumblr.

Seamus Finnigan meets the Derry Girls.

Derry Girls and the Harry Potter books both take place in the 90s so this is very plausible.

we coulda let him have some shine is all i’m saying

Juicy

Carlisle has good intentions but the people in Forks do NOT

Read more Twilight But Okayer! | Twitter | Instagram | Ko-fi

Bella sis a FREAK

Read Twilight but Okayer!

A Very Potter Musical (2009) || Good Omens (2019)

#JusticeforJames

James Potter in the books vs James Potter in the movies

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone - BOOK

Dumbledore: This one time, Harry, your father saved Snape’s life.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone - MOVIE

*no mention of such event*

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - BOOK

Sirius: Harry, I did this really douchey thing once, and I tried to have Remus kill Snape, but your father heard about it and rushed off to save his life.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - MOVIE

*no mention of such event*

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - BOOK

*Harry goes into Pensieve and sees James and Sirius picking on Snape very unfairly - Lily intervenes - Snape cuts James’s face open - James does a dick move - Lily gets pissed - Snape calls Lily a Mudblood for absolutely no reason whatsoever - Lily leaves them to it - James gears up for another dick move*

Snape: *interrupting* GTFO, BITCH!

Harry: HOLY SHIT MY FATHER WAS AN ASSHOLE! *warm and fuzzy illusions ruined*

Sirius and Remus: What up?

Harry: You guys. My Dad was an asshole.

Sirius and Remus: OMG NO! HARRY, SERIOUSLY! Look, James was an immature prat when he was a teenager and he did horrible things and WE’RE NOT DENYING IT and everyone regrets how they acted back then, but he grew up and became a better person and he was a great man, I swear. And it wasn’t like Snape was innocent because he was really mixed up in Dark Arts and James HATED Dark Arts so much.

Harry: But my Mum hated him omg.

Sirius and Remus: Dude don’t even worry about that it’s cool, she totally didn’t.

Harry: Okay.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - MOVIE

*Harry breaks into Snape’s memory in a way that isn’t really possible for somebody who can’t do Legilimency and sees James bullying the shit out of Snape and being the biggest dick in the world*

Harry: ….. my father was an asshole.

*nobody contradicts him*

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - BOOK

*Harry looks into the Pensieve and sees how Snape was in love with Lily but drove her to abandoning their friendship after becoming heavily invested in the Dark Arts and planning to become a Death Eater, and then finally calling her a Mudblood even though Lily was his only friend, and this is a totally rational reason for Lily to break ties with him and we already know that James Potter was essentially a good guy so it makes so much sense that Lily would fall in love with and marry him*

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - MOVIE

*Harry looks into the Pensieve and sees that SNAPE AND LILY WERE SOULMATES OMG BUT THAT BASTARD JAMES POTTER TURNED UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND RIPPED THEM FROM ONE ANOTHER OMG IT’S SO SAD THEIR LOVE WAS TRUE AND NOW SNAPE’S HOLDING HER CORPSE LIKE A FUCKING CREEP BUT OMG SO SAD, GUYS*

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

never read or watched harry potter and all i know about it comes from fans posting content on here and i think that is very sexy of me

Hmmm, baby, he is. Cute, you would say. Hmmm, agree, I must

Sometimes family is covern of Mandalorians and one baby yoda

this is the way

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The two young men, sympathetic to a creature in need, approached the crocodile and released it from the trap.

Once freed, the crocodile transformed into a wispy, glowing fairy! “Thank you, young men” said the fairy, “Your hearts are truly selfless, and I will grant each of you one wish. What are your names?”

“This is my friend Set, and you can call me ‘Ep’”, said Amenhotep.

“Very well, Ep” said the fairy “What is the desire of your heart?”

“I wish I was the strongest man in the world!” Amenhotep wished.

“Very well”, said the fairy, “but you must always use your strength to help others.” Smoke gathered around Amenhotep, and when the smoke cleared Ep was 7 foot six and rippling with muscles.

The fairy turned to Set “And what is your wish, Set?” Set responded “I never want to be poor again! I wish for money!”

“Very well,” said the fairy. Smoke gathered in front of the two of them, and when the smoke cleared a small elf remained, bowing to the two boys. “Greetings, sirs! My name is Elmon, and I am here to serve!”

“Elmon is an expert in all things money,” said the fairy, “He will help you make wise decisions and turn any business profitable, but will only help you so long as he is only asked to do good for your fellow man.”

Amenhotep and Set were inseparable. True to his word, Amenhotep used his great strength to build many houses for people in need. Set helped, as well, but his comparatively small size next to the now massive Amenhotep earned him the nickname “Imp”. With Elmon’s financial savvy, the two started a non-profit dedicated to building houses for the less fortunate, and Elmon kept all their paperwork in perfect order.

Years passed, and the two lived very fulfilling lives helping the homeless. Amenhotep met a girl while building houses and the two got married and had a beautiful baby boy, Josep.

Ep and Set’s business expanded globally. 15 years passed and Amenhotep grew kinder and more generous, giving to people in need at any of the places he went to build houses. Set built a campus in Cairo for the headquarters of their business, and directed global efforts. Over the years, Set lost touch with the people he was helping, and became more focused on business expansion and money of the business.

As all fathers do, Amenhotep wanted his son to eventually take over the business and help the next generation of needful people find purpose in their lives. He sent Josep to the the HQ in Cairo to learn business from Set. Once there, Josep was surprised to find that much of the financial success was due in large part to the financial savvy of Elmon, the elf.

Josep spent months at HQ learning how to run the business. While there, Set decided that it was time to expand the company into a more profitable venture. Instead of building houses for the needy, he drafted up a plan to buy up land around urban areas and construct rental properties at expensive prices while preventing construction of new, affordable housing. He sent Josep with the proposal to Elmon to determine the financial logistics.

Upon reading the proposal and its ill-nature’s effect on Set’s fellow man, Elmon keeled over and died, instantly.

Josep was shocked, and ran to alert Set right away, who wailed in dismay at the loss of his financial mastermind. In a rage, he accused Josep of killing Elmon, and sent the teenager to jail.

Amenhotep, hearing of the distress, caught the first flight back to Cairo to find himself neck-deep in a legal battle between him and his old friend.

Without the financial and legal savvy of Elmon, Set’s case was a mess. Amenhotep, distraught, tried to reason with his childhood friend. “Come, Imp, release my boy and call off the lawsuit. Let’s use our energy to help those in need and not further what we both know is a fruitless path.”

Set refused, furiously gathering circumstantial evidence to bring to the court to frame Josep for Elmon’s murder.

The case was brought before the court, but Set’s claims were weak and unsupported. The judge, thoroughly disgusted with the lack of evidence from the prosecution, dismissed the case outright.

Obviously, Ep’s teen didn’t kill Imp’s elf.

Me. I'm the goblin friend.

Ya’ll talk about the Mom Friend and the Older Sibling Friend but I hear nothing about the Goblin Friend

Eats food up off the floor screaming something about the five second rule

Sweatpants count as a look

Throws everything in a pile on the nearest surface as soon as they’re home

“Haha that’s gross let me see”

Hoards of some sort. Mugs, pens, notebooks, anything

Sitting in a dark room for hours wrapped up in seven blankets in front of a laptop unblinking

Makes weird noise effects to express emotions

Laying on random surfaces

Harry "Can't take a hint" Potter everyone 😂

Cho: *tells Harry the next Hogsmeade visit in on valentines day*

Harry: hmm?? I wonder?? why she’s telling me this?????

McGonagall and Snape plotting Umbridge’s murder

Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.

(via Feminism)