Gap-tooth - 🧶

so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy

"this character is autistic coded so headcanoning them as aro/ace is wrong because you're reinforcing the idea that autistic people are incapable of having romantic or sexual relationships" DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY ASPEC PEOPLE ARE ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM

My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

I Remember You (2011), Sara Swink

they also might not be giants. let's not get our hopes up

“If autism isn’t caused by environmental factors and is natural why didn’t we ever see it in the past?”

We did, except it wasn’t called autism it was called “Little Jonathan is a r*tarded halfwit who bangs his head on things and can’t speak so we’re taking him into the middle of the cold dark forest and leaving him there to die.”

the autistic charlie kelly (sorta) masterpost:

trouble controlling the pitch of his voice, yells a lot but doesn’t always intend to

good at setting routines for himself, and following them, even though other people view them as strange or bad

his mail system w/ burn/send to himself/deliver

the cat food/beer/glue system when dee spends the night

trouble interacting with people outside of the gang

auditory processing issues

may account for some of his trouble reading and writing

can lead to problems following directions or like distinguishing between similar sounding words/sounds

it can also be like hearing what someone says but not understanding any of it

has a restricted diet bc of sensory issues

hasn’t eaten a lot of fruits (not necessarily bc sensory issues)

tries a pear and has an immediate sensory reaction (i.e. saying it tastes like sand, because even if it wasn’t ripe most people wouldn’t have that adverse of a reaction to it)

eats foods that he knows are good sensory-wise frequently (i.e. cheese)

also creates foods that are pleasing sensory-wise (milksteak)

also likes dark places bc sensory issues

sewers n stuff like that

stims by shaking his legs, tapping his feet, tapping on things with his hands

stims when happy vocally (shouting things) and by clapping

stims when angry/upset by shouting, pulling at his hair, and sorta cupping his hands over his ears, touching his face

bad at regulating his facial expressions (maybe)

‘the gang solves the gas crisis’

talks with his hands all the time 

sometimes to try to get across what he means when he has trouble communicating it verbally

special interest in musical stuff, writing songs/music

gets really stressed out about major change

leaving philly for the first time

frank moving in w/ his mother

doesn’t own many shirts, maybe bc sensory issues?? idk

misinterprets what other people are saying (maybe auditory processing stuff)

‘the gang gets analyzed’

echolalia

repeats what people say a lot (also ‘the gang gets analyzed’)

also communicates in movie references or tries to communicate how he feels using movie characters

uhh that’s all i can think of right now!! feel free to reblog n add stuff y’know! i’m always happy to see other ppl’s headcanons etc. :D