Latest Posts by gen-cowheart - Page 2
Stupid idea: Gotrek and Felix RPG in the style of the Mario & Luigi games.
Extremely specific scenario time:
Three dwarves - Gotrek Gurnisson, Senshi of Izganda, and Gimli, son of Glóin - are all put into the same room. The room is empty save for one table with three chairs, all appropriately dwarf-sized. None of them have their axes, but there is a loaded gun on the table. None of the three have been instructed on how to use it. The three of them are here to settle one question once and for all:
Are orcs edible?
Reading Gotrek & Felix. A quarter of everything that comes out of Gotrek’s mouth is him dunking on elves. I think this might be the best character in fiction.
If anyone who reads this is both a fan of Warhammer Fantasy and Balder's Gate 3 and is also can write, I need you to write how Gotrek and Felix would interact with the BG3 cast. I know it would end horribly but I imagine it would be hilarious.
That's it, this sums up the past 9 books of the series. Gotrek, whose greatest enemy is undefeatable plot armour, cannot be killed or stopped. To his own dismay as much as everyone else's.
"OK I have a plan to defeat chaos across all planes of Reality! I'm gonna need 2 things...."
"First im gonna need this Hammer."
"Next we give it to this Dwarf. We take cover and wait for the shaking to stop."
In battle, that is!
If you like this stuff, please consider supporting me on Patreon, where you’ll find bonus content, tutorials and art references!
Zweihänder
these two-handed swords are some of favorite swords, such a perfect balance of elegance and power. Really, zweihander's need more attention in the media.
Thoughts on zweihanders?
Zweihänders are SUPER fucking cool! If I had a spare $900 I would totally get one.
A lot of video games and other media actually get them wrong, though. Slamming a sword that big into the ground is gonna really damage the sword, but abruptly stopping something with that much momentum can severely damage your joints and muscles if you aren't careful. You want the sword to only come to a stop when it's either hitting something you want to hit or when stopping its movement won't injure you. The trick, then, is to let the momentum of the sword carry it into this very beautiful flowing cutting pattern where the sword and its wielder are working together.
So, in practice, zweihänder/doppelhänder/montante/spadone looked less like this:
And more like this:
Some fun zweihänder facts:
"Zweihänder" is specifically a German name for this kind of sword. "Montante" was the word for more or less the same kind of sword in Spain, and in Italy they were called "Spadone."
There are some particularly massive swords of this style called "Paradeschwert" that were purely ceremonial. I saw a few at the Chicago Art Institute last time I went that were absolutely enormous.
It wasn't too uncommon for these swords to have wavy "flamberge" blades.
The prongs on the blade are called "parrying hooks."
The Landsknecht mercenaries famously used zweihänders to push past enemy pikes and break front lines.
Aside from Landsknecht, they were also used by bodyguards.
Flamberge zweihänders are still used today by the Papal Swiss Guard for ceremonial purposes.
I love me a fantasy monster-slaying greatsword, but the historical greatsword has a pretty badass purpose too!
Art refs, tutorials and more!
The pastoralist fantasy of "modern life is too stressful so I should move to a remote area and do hard labor" is so funny
I was rewatching AoU and . . . people still think of Tony as narcissistic, uncaring and arrogant??? After seeing that movie??? a lot of Tony antis blab on and on about AoU and I just . . . Tony? The same Tony I just watched?
Tony, the one who when cursed by Wanda to see one of his biggest fears, sees his team dead? Sees aliens overtaking earth and the avengers lifeless, but himself alive? Who viewed his survival as just as bad as their death?
Tony, who Nick told, “you’ve invented a lot of cool things. War is not one of them” to?? Who Nick saw was hurting and regretful and tried to comfort rather than tell off??? Like damn how sad do you have to be for Nick Fury to comfort you rather than say you’re an idiot???
Tony, who was fully willing to die to save Sokovia? Who stayed behind the longest with Thor (who barely counts because he’s essentially indestructible) to ensure everyone was safe?
Tony, who didn’t mock Clint for the farm but rather envied it? Who did household chores and was respectful to Laura?
Tony, who acknowledged Steve’s leadership and didn’t try to place himself as team captain but instead differed to Steve unless he felt it would end in casualties?
Tony, who lost JARVIS, arguably one of the closest people to him, to Ultron but didn’t even have time to grieve before the fight?
Tony, who made sure Steve was happy before he felt he could leave a life that had only brought him pain?
People don't like to admit it bcs cringe or w/e but Homestuck really did revolutionize the webcomic as a storytelling medium and I am endlessly frustrated that before webcomic artists could really stretch our legs fucking webtoonz swooped in, set a new, more restrictive standard, and then monetized and monopolized the ever living fuck out of the concept of The Webcomic until it drove away anyone who couldn't be a professional quality manga artist for free, and now the only webcomics that actually feel like spiritual successors to Homestuck are so obscure they're basically cult classics that you have to beg people to read.
Like it's just so wild to be in high school and see Homestuck be like "we're using like fifteen different artistic mediums to tell this story bcs we can" and be really fucking inspired by that, only to grow up and see basically every webcomic ever have to conform to One Single Standard or fucking perish.
I got further into the council of Elrond and the dwarves are fucking ride or die man
Hot take but you can’t learn about paganism without also learning about white supremacy and how it uses pagan religions to push hate group agendas all over the world today. If you don’t learn about the connections between the two and how it operates, your ignorance enables white supremacists to keep on doing it and using it to recruit others. People in our community who do nothing and stay silent are literally a part of the problem, there is no opting out whatsoever. Divorcing the two makes the issue repeat itself over and over and over again.
It’s not hard to include this in your research and stay aware. It’s the bare minimum.
Everyone shits on elf metal. Just because dwarf metal (GRANITE FORGE, UNDERBEARD) and orc metal (URROSH GROGAG, TUSK) are widely renowned and pioneers of the genre and style as a whole doesnt mean we all need to collectively bash LAST KING ELIANDOR'S DIRGE FOR THE FALLEN LEAVES PARTS IX-XXII
As someone who's been a lover of traditional folk music from the British Isles for several decades, one thing I've learned is that "True Love" didn't always mean what you think it means. In the older songs, "true love" is not some mystical quality, some type of connection that is magically better than other Loves. No. A love that is "true" merely means that your Love is "true TO YOU." "True" as in faithful and loyal and trustworthy. A lover who will stand by you and with you no matter what comes. True the way a good sword is True. True the way a good knight is loyal. The contrast is "False Love," which is a lover who betrays you, who cannot be trusted.
"True Love" isn't something you find, it's a vow and a choice that you make, every day, to BE TRUE.
I think it's a common misconception that domesticating animals is somewhat like enslaving them. It really is more of a symbiotic relationship. No wild animal would have willingly put up with early humans if they didn't get something out of it. Wolves wouldn't have stayed with us and become dogs if they weren't getting food and safety out of it. Many large herbivores that are now domesticated could and would have easily trampled their early human captors or broken their enclosures open if they didn't have a reason to stay. Sometimes individual animals still do if we don't give them what they need.
The animals that have stayed with us for thousands of years have evolved to cooperate with us better. Dogs have additional facial muscles around their eyes that wolves lack in order to mimic human facial expressions. Sheep grow their wool perpetually while their wild counterparts don't because a bigger fleece means they're more likely to be allowed to breed and be kept around. Domestic dairy cows produce much more milk than wild bovine species and domestic hens lay more eggs. Do you know how energy costly producing eggs or milk is for an animal? It's pretty intense! They wouldn't be able to do that if we hadn't given them the food and safety from predators and the elements to.
And we really need to show these animals respect and gratitude for what they give us by taking excellent care of them. They gave up a lot to be with us, often including the means to take care of themselves in the wild. That's a huge reason why I'm not against using animal products, but I hate factory farming. They are still living, breathing creatures with needs and feelings. They deserve a comfortable life and, when the time comes, a humane death.
In light of certain recent topics, I’ve been reminded of the 2017 book ‘Norse Mythology’ by Neil Gaiman. It was a nice telling of the more well-known Norse Myths, but there are LOTS of other options out there for people wanting to learn more about Norse Mythology—you don’t have to support that predator to learn about the gods.
Below is a list of some of the other resources that I’ve used. It’s not exhaustive by any measure—just what I’m familiar with and what comes to mind as I sit here at my desk at work. If anyone else has any additional recommendations, please add them to the list!
Norse Mythology for Smart People - norse-mythology.org
This was where I first started when I wanted to learn about Norse Mythology years ago—I literally just typed “Norse Mythology” into google and clicked the first result like a noob. But this site does a really good job of giving information on a wide range of topics within norse mythology as well as vikings in a general sense—everything from different gods, goddesses, creatures, places, and major stories. It’s a solid encyclopedic source that I would recommend to anyone wanting to get general information on the mythology.
“Norse Mythology: The Unofficial Guide” - https://open.spotify.com/show/7F0tD7bStFIDSVEbsnrxuI?si=8ce8f5ccf3a3417d
If podcasts are your jam, the best by far in my opinion is ‘Norse Mythology: The Unofficial Guide’. At the time of me writing this, there haven’t been any new episodes for 6 months, but there are 37 episodes that are about an hour each & range on a variety of topics from cosmology to specific deities to stories like Ragnarok or specific topics like runes. It does a fantastic job of explaining each topic in a way that is both thorough and accessible & honestly I can’t recommend it enough.
The ‘Northern Myths’ Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/7KtSJb5DTLSwmfj1BPYY5v?si=fcd6c297cdc1463d
If you want to go deeper into Old Norse texts like the Eddas or the Havamál, the ‘Northern Myths’ podcast is the place to go for a very deep dive/discussion on these texts. The episodes are long and sometimes get a little dry, but they do read these texts directly and then discuss each passage, so it’s a decent place to go for some deep discussion on some of the pillars of Old Norse texts.
Dr. Jackson Crawford - https://jacksonwcrawford.com/
Most people who get into Norse Mythology/History become familiar with Jackson Crawford pretty quick. He’s an expert specifically in linguistics and the Old Norse language—which includes runes—but he also has extensive knowledge on Old Norse & “Viking” history & culture. He’s previously taught at UCLA, UC Berkeley, and University of Colorado, and now has an extensive Youtube channel. He’s also been a consultant for projects like AC:Valhalla. If you have a question about Old Norse & would like to have a soft-spoken, no-nonsense cowboy in the wilds of Colorado explain it to you, this is your new home.
Again, this is by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a good start. Please please feel free to reblog with any additional sources you’ve used so we can help new friends learn more!
Watching all these social media platforms spiraling into disgust, I really think we need to consider alternatives. And I’m not really talking about finding different social media platforms, either, but rather changing the way we engage with and reach the content we want to see online.
As things stand now, we’re really just being corralled into ad-revenue pens at our own expense (i.e. being forced to see toxic content that’s terrible for our mental health but great for their engagement). It’s not for our benefit. It’s for theirs. In fact, we often get punished by their algorithms because we don’t post at their pace or share the kind of content they want.
But we’re stuck because we don’t feel like we have any other options, right? Because that’s the only way we can reach people and share our creations, right? To be honest, I’d rather subscribe to newsletters and visit personal blogs or websites. I’d rather pay modest, reasonable amounts to access a creator’s work than force them to rely on ad revenue from the more ravenous. But I don’t think we’re ready for that as a whole…
Captain America by Flopscomics
I feel like a lot of folks who are only familiar with Phineas and Ferb via the memes get the impression that one of the show's central gags is about the titular characters gaslighting their sister, but that's not what's happening at all. They're generally 100% open about what they're doing, and lots of people know about it. Even their dad is frequently in the loop. It's the mom in particular who absolutely refuses to believe that anything unusual is going on, and while part of that is due to the evidence having a tendency to vanish right before she walks into the room, there's also a lot of refusal to entertain the possibility involved – heck, there are multiple episodes where the boys admit what they're doing to her face, and she just dismisses it as them doing a bit.
Basically, what's being sent up in the show is not "brothers gaslighting their sister", but "eldest daughter whose mother never believes her about anything, even when disbelief requires wilful blindness to what's happening right in front of her face". Which is still kind of a fucked up thing to be playing for laughs, of course, but you can see where some folks would find her worryingly relatable!
Hot take: It kinda pisses me off how bad the storytelling is in Soulsborne games, and they'd be vastly improved if they just hired a Vaatividya style narrator to create an in game podcast/lore diary you could unlock through play/exploration.
A deer antler carved with the runes for “deer antler” 🙄 thanks, Viking Rae Dunn.
fascinated by how "dislocate" seems to be a word used almost exclusively to refer to the misalignment of bodies, or parts of the body, from their proper place. it's distinctly anatomical. you don't say "i dislocated my keys" for instance, even though that's technically a correct and coherent sentence.
