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One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

art by The Baby Goat

Lord Taurus

Adam: Hello, ningen~!

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Adam: Ha ha... Your threats are as empty as your title.

Adam: All hail Weiss Schnee, heiress to nothing!

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Adam: Well, well, this could be quite salubrious for me.

Corsac: I'm not sure I...

Fennec: ...know what that means.

Adam: It means "beneficial to one's health and well-being," you dolts!

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Yang: Thanks for the assist, Ozp-AGH!

Adam: ...Oops! How rude of me. The pommel of my sword has slipped into your chest~.

Yang: Heh heh... No problem.

Adam: HURGH!

Yang: Sorry 'bout that. My fist just happened to punch your chest "on accident," too.

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Harriet: It's a simple fact; I'm the fastest member of the Ace Operatives!

Adam: So you're a master of retreat, eh? You must be so proud.

Harriet: (Activates Super-Speed) Get ready for a surprise!

Adam: ...

Harriet: (Running in place) My semblance will allow me to dodge your sinister and nefarious attacks with the greatest of ease! JUST TRY AND HIT ME! (Blinks out)

Adam: ...I'm just going to let that play out.

Harriet: (Attacking Adam, Missing)

Adam: (Backhands Harriet)

Harriet: Rgh! B-But how?!

Adam: That's funny, because I was about to ask the same to you. As in, "But how do you expect such pitiful attacks could do any damage to topple a top tier titan like me?"

Adam: (Grips sword) A grievous insult I intend to pay back tenfold.

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Adam: Is Yang not here yet?

Penny: No, but she's on her way!

Adam: Oh, look at that; the toy robot from Atlas. I remember watching you die on-screen before Cinder took over. I guess the Maiden's powers can bring back both the powerful AND the pathetic!

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Weiss: YOU'RE ACTUALLY MAKING ME HOLD ADAM'S HAND?!

Adam: Heh heh heh... There's nothing for you to be scared of Schnee. I won't bite.

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Adam: Well, well, it seems the woman of the hour has finally arrived! I've been waiting a long time for you! And I see your Schnee friend is with you, too. I would be surprised, but ningen never were good at fighting alone, were they?

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Ruby: Huh? It's you...

Adam: Salutations, ningen~!

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Adam: I remember when Nikos' partner was just a shrimpy, little thing. It's so touching to see boys becoming men.

Jaune: Adrian, stay back!

Adrian: But Uncle Jaune-

Jaune: You don't stand a chance against him, so just leave him to me!

Adrian: (Pouts)

Adam: What tender love~! I can barely stomach it. When I'm done with him, I'll kill the brat, too, so you can hold hands together in Hell. (Blinks out)

Jaune: Huh?!

Adam: (Behind him) NOTHING PERSONAL, KID.

Nora/Ren: JAUNE!

Jaune: AUGH! (Falls to the ground)

Adam: ...I'm sorry, but I don't think you understand how this works. Once you're on the ground and can't move, you're supposed to beg me for mercy! Say you'll do anything to spare your nephew's life!

Jaune: Ngh!

Adam: Come on! Let's hear it, boy! Cry for me! Scream! SOAK YOUR FACE IN TEARS AND TEAR OFF YOUR ARMOR IN FRUSTRATION! AHAHAHAHAHA! Not that I would let you live, but it's all part of the fun for me!

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Pyrrha: (Struggling)

Adam: Oh, I do respect powerful fighters. But there's one other facet to my character, which is...

Adam: THERE'S NOTHING I DESPISE MORE THAN NINGEN.

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Adam: That's it, Xiao Long! Keep getting stronger! Be your best lizard!

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Adam: Care to put her to the test?

Adam: (Draws blade)

Willow: (Shakes head)

SHKT!

Adam: (Sheathes, Ahem)

Adam: ...WINTER, LOOK! IT'S SUCH A TRAGEDY!

Winter: Huh?!

Adam: IT'S YOUR MOTHER! SHE'S BEEN FATALLY WOUNDED BY A STRAY ATTACK!

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Ozpin: There must be something you care about! The White Fang?! Loved ones?! Memories?! Everyone has SOMETHING they want to protect-

Adam: You're pissing me off! I don't care about anything or anyone. Hm... Except for myself, of course.

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Adam: I can't stand the sight of your pitiful, broken faces wearing MY masks...

Adam: (Grips handle)

Blake: (Eyes widen) EVERYONE RUN, NOW!

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Yang: You're definitely not a pushover, that's for sure. If you weren't so evil, you'd actually be a fun sparring partner. What a waste of talent.

Adam: It's exactly that kind of small-minded drivel that makes ningen like you so especially intolerable.

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Adam: WAKE UP! Torture isn't any fun if I can't hear you scream! (Stabs Yang's prone body)

Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

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Adam: Attention, brothers and sisters of the White Fang...

Adam: (Points)

Penny: Huh?!

Adam: I will grant ownership of any human settlement to any one of you who can slice that Atlas toy in half!

Penny: What?!

Adam: Ha ha ha! History repeats, with only certain details that change. And when Xiao Long shows up, she'll give in to her rage again, leaving her wide-open for me cut not just her arm, but her head off, too!

Mike Deodato Jr - Titans

Reblog daily for health and prosperity

Y'know what? I'd think i'd be pretty funny if Cinder forgot and/or didn't care to lear Jaune's name

EX:

Cinder: Ruby. Weiss. Blake. Yang

Cinder, squinting at Jaune while trying to remember his name: ...Jacob

Cinder: Nora. Ren

Cinder: All of you are gathered here today to witne-

Jaune: My name is Jaune

Cinder: That's what I said, Josh. As I was sayin-

Jaune: My name is JAUNE!

Cinder: Whatever you say John.

Jaune: RRRRAAAGHH

Cinder: Emerald, who was that young hell-fighter?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? I'll remember that name...

"Cinder did not remember that name"

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Cinder: Who is that honor student, Emerald?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? How odd. My research specifically calls him out as an academic failure!

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Cinder: Hm~. Who is that bathroom ballroom dancer, Emerald?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of the... Pokémon card trainers from Beacon's first year.

Cinder: Well, he's certainly got a foot loose or two~! Perhaps I've found someone who's hotfoot enough to dance with me?

Emerald: Oh, his foot isn't as hot as yours, ma'am. You've never lost a dance competition! Except for that time when you let Mercury win on his dad's birthday. It was very sweet of you, ma'am.

Cinder: Oh, he just looked so sad, Emerald. With his, "Oh... My dad used to hit my feet with a steel pipe like that..."

Emerald: (Giggles)

Cinder: Hm... I wonder if this Jaunem Arcury shares any relation.

Emerald: Unlikely, ma'am. They spell and pronounce their names differently.

Cinder: Bah! Arrange a game and I'll ask her myself!

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Cinder: Excelsior to you, Mr...

Cinder: (Whispering) Emerald, what's the name of this lounge lizard?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of your Baby-Alives from Beacon's first year.

Cinder: Yes! Arc~!

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Cinder: I'm sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. Who is he, anyways?

Emerald: Uh, Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of your Target Practices from Beacon's first year. All of the recent events of your life revolved around him in some way.

Cinder: Arc, eh?

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ATTENTION! FIRST YEAR PROBLEM ON TEAM JNPR!

Cinder: Team JNPR?! Good god, who's the team leader there?!

Emerald: (Typing into scroll) Uh, Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? Good man? Intelligent?

Emerald: Uh, actually, ma'am, he was enrolled on a dare by Professor Ozpin.

Cinder: Oh, well, thank you very much, Salem!

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Jaune: You know what I think of this exam?! (Rips) This! (Rips) And this! (Wipes butt) And some of this!

Cinder: Who is that champion of injustice, Emerald?

Emerald: That's Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? New man?

Emerald: (Chuckles) Actually, ma'am, he thwarted your campaign for Fall Maiden. You shot his partner. He saved Beacon from falling. His teammate, Nora, painted you in the nude.

Cinder: Hm... Are you sure? I think I'd remember all that.

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Emerald: Oh, god, he's being dropped into the Deathstalker nest!

Cinder: The fuck's a Deathstalker?

Jaune Dummy: (Perforated repeatedly, Scrapped into a heap)

Cinder: ...Emerald. Who was that corpse?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. (Sniffles) One of the finest, bravest first year ever to bless at Beacon Academy~! (Sobs)

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Jaune: (Walking down the hall, Hallucinating)

Cinder: Emerald, who is that idiot?.

Cinder: Emerald, who is that doofus?.

Cinder: Who is that fashion disaster?.

Cinder: Who is that deadweight?.

Cinder: Mushbrain!.

Cinder: Dorkus Maximus!.

Cinder: Dirtstain!.

Cinder: Goofball!.

Cinder: Sextant-deficiency!.

Jaune: STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!

Cinder: LOOK OUT!.

Jaune: Huh? (Falls off cliff) AAAAAAAAAAA

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Jaune: (Chuckles)

Cinder: (Opens office door, Sees graffiti)

I AM JAUNE ARC

Cinder: ...And who in Salem's name are you?

Jaune: RRRGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaune: (Shakes Cinder) JAUNE ARC! JAUNE! ARC! JAUNEARC! JAUNE ARC! MY NAME IS JAUNE ARC!

Jaune: (Pulled off, Dragged away) Oh, you're dead, Cinder. You're dead! YOU'RE DEAD, CINDER!

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Cinder: I've decided to start carrying my weapon closely after I was assaulted last night by an unknown assailant.

Jaune: (Distant) DAMMIT!

More One Piece AU (ft. Rhodes D. Jobber)

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh