CRWBY: Hello RWBY characters.
Ruby: Who are you? Are you Gods?
Salem: Please tell me you are destroying the world.
Cinder: What do you mean RWBY characters? Does that mean that brat is the protagonist?
CRWBY: No, no, yes. Higher ups in Viz demanded we make some changes to the show. So we are gonna reorganize the teams based on the origin of their fairy tale allusion.
Yang: I didn't understand a single word you just said.
CRWBY: Andddd... reshuffle!
*magic poof*
TEAM GERMANY:
Ruby: Why do I no longer like strawberries and cookies?
Weiss: Take this pretzel and shut up.
Ruby: Weiss? We are still partners?
Weiss: Of course we are, nothing can separate us.
Ruby: That's great. Where are the others?
Weiss: It appears they are not German enough for our team.
Ruby: Look! There is another one of our teammates! *turns into rose petals*
Weiss: Ruby, don't jump a complete stranger like that.
Ruby: *tackles them down* Hello, I am Ruby Ro... oh.
Salem: Somehow this curse keeps getting worse.
Weiss: Scheisse!
TEAM FRANCE:
Oscar: I hope ze Ruby is my partner, hon hon hon. Ugh, what the hell happened to my voice.
Ozpin: Oscar, you are taking a dangerous route I cannot follow.
Oscar: Oz, what ze happening?
Ozpin: You are turning French. *soul gets ejected from Oscar's body*
Oscar: Nooooooo. It feels like part of me is missing now. I have a sudden urge to fill it with cheese and wi... Sacrebleu, I am really turning into ze Frenchman. I need to talk to someone, where are my teammates. *hears loud noises* There they are.
*walks up*
Oscar: Bonj... Hello, I am Oscar.
Cinder: We know who you are Farm Boy. Now, as the leader of this team...
Jaune: Who the hell put you in charge of this team?! Why are you even on this team, Cinderella story has many origins!
Cinder: Because I am Cinderella with glass slippers nimrod! Only French one has glass slippers!
Jaune: Great, I'm on the team with Pyrrha's murderer.
Cinder: Oh give me a break, they revived her. She is over there tossing Mercury. You are just salty because now there is no excuse for you not getting laid.
Oscar: Wait, why am I the only one with ze French accent?
Blake: Because you are an impressionable kid.
Oscar: Blake! You are ze here too!
Blake: *chuckles* Yes I am.
Jaune: Oh shut up!
Cinder: Make me!
Blake: How long will it take before they start making out?
TEAM ENGLAND:
Yang: Of course it's raining. Can this place get any worse?
Jax: Hello peasant.
Yang: I am gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Jax: Me and my sister need someone to observe our polo game. Now move your arse.
Gilian: Polo? I am not playing polo with you Jax. You always rile up my horse with your Semblance!
Jax: So what? Are we suppose to just sit here and drink tea?
Gilian: I wouldn't mind that. Peasant, bring us some tea! And make sure it is Darjeeling, otherwise I might throw up.
*Yang knocks out both*
Yang: Can't pretend twice in the row.
Blake: Yang, is that you?
Yang: Blake! Where are you?
Blake: I am on the other side of the Channel!
Yang: What's going on on the other side?
Blake: Jaune and Cinder fighting... scratch that... making out. Oscar is losing himself to his French side. Toss me some fish and chips before his Frenchness fully overtakes him. You know what, throw some for me as well.
Yang: Are we suppose to be enemies now that you are French and I'm English?
Blake: Yes we are, but that's so hot.
Yang: Oh yeah. Wait, someone else is here.
Robyn: *pickpocketing Asturias siblings* No time to explain, I'm repurposing their funds.
TEAM NORDIC:
Winter: This is something new. I... I've never had a partner or team. I just hope it's not...
Qrow: Hello Ice Queen!
Winter: Branwen...
Qrow: It turns out Ice Queen is based on Snow Queen, how original.
Winter: What are you even doing here? Don't you have some other places to be, other people to bother?
Qrow: Nope, I am as Nordic as it gets. It turns out I am based on one of the Odin's messengers. Other one being... oh crap.
Raven: Hello brother!
Qrow: Raven... Don't you have some other places to be, family members to abandon?
Raven: And miss out on this? No way.
Winter: Wait a minute... You kidnapped Weiss!
Raven: Oh please, she ran into me. Can hardly count it as kidnapping.
Winter: Oh don't worry, this will hardly count as a beatdown. *draws swords*
Raven: Pfff, another Maiden to beat.
Nora: Heya Qrow, what did I miss.
Qrow: Not much kid, just some of the reasons I started drinking.
TEAM USA:
Ozpin: Come on James, don't be a buzzkill, we are doing the Wizard of Oz walk.
Ironwood: I am starting to believe that it wasn't a coincidence I tried to kill you.
Ozpin: Ha ha ha, good old James and his deadpan humor.
*walks down the road holding hands with Glynda, Theodore and Lionheart*
Adam: So, drinking alone on the sideline.
Ironwood: What are you doing here Taurus? Aren't you suppose to be on Team France?
Adam: Well, I tried. But they argued I don't count since most of my allusion comes from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. And Blake filed a restraining order... typical.
Ironwood: You know I can have you arrested.
Adam: Arrest a teammate? Who does that?
Ironwood: I do.
Adam: Fair enough. You know, I stabbed a teammate before.
Ironwood: Cheers.
Adam: Cheers.
TEAM ITALY:
Penny: *sad lonely robot noises* Wait, who is there?
Neo: *signs* It's me, Neo. *sits next to Penny*
Penny: Aren't you based on an ice cream?
Neo: *signs* It's an Italian ice cream. Do you want to be alone?
Penny: No. *shifts closer*
Bothersome beast, comforting friend
Amphibia Bumper
RIP James Earl Jones, whose long list of accomplishments on stage and screen includes being Sesame Street's first celebrity guest star.
not even JRR Tolkien, who famously developed the concept of the Secondary World and firmly believed that no trace of the Real World should be evoked in the fictional world, was able to remove potatoes from his literature. this is a man who developed whole languages and mythologies for his literary world, who justified its existence in English as a translation* simply because he was so miffed he couldn't get away with making the story fully alien to the real world. and not even he, in extremis, was so cruel as to deny his characters the heavenly potato. could not even conceive a universe devoid of the potato. such is its impact. everyone please take a moment to say thank you to South Americans for developing and cultivating one of earth's finest vegetables. the potato IS all that. literally world-changing food. bless.
By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest
Panther queen au.
Three little blonde triplet cat faunus girls greet yang
One with ears " I am pyrrha arc
One with tail " I am penny arc
One with claws " i am Alyx arc
They then go " and together we are the tree little kittens
"Oh, they're adorable!" Weiss squealed.
"Guess you two have been busy, huh?" Yang nudged Blake's arm.
"You could say that." Blake chuckled with a blush.
"Ruby, are you okay?" Jaune asked.
"THEY'RE BITING ME! THEY'RE BITING ME!"
a collection