Georgecauldron800 - Untitled

RWBY Gone Woke

Jaune: (Tied up) Damn you, Adam! When I get out of here, I'll-

Adam: You'll do what, human? "Save the day"? I don't think even YOU could stop me now!

Jaune: We'll see about (Breaks free) THAT!

Adam: Dammit, she's free!

Jaune: That's just a taste of what I've got! And now to finish this! (Pulls out gun)

Adam: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out, time out!

Jaune: What?

Adam: You've been carrying a gun this whole time?!

Jaune: Of course I have a gun. I'm a huntsman.

Adam: And with- With this gun, you planned to shoot me?

Jaune: ...Yes.

Adam: Wow! Wow, that- That- That's crazy, man!

Jaune: How is it crazy?

Adam: No punching? No shield tossing? Just- You were gonna just shoot me?!

Jaune: Yeah, that's why I'm here. We- We're fighting, you know. You're a wanted criminal. What, did you think we were fighting this whole time just for me to wag my finger at you?

Adam: It just comes off a little extreme, don't you think?

Jaune: ...You're a terrorist.

Adam: Ah! There it is! Everyone I disagree with is a terrorist!

Jaune: YES! You're the leader of a terrorist organization!

Adam: Aw~! Baby's first buzzwords!

Jaune: You're literally a racial supremacist.

Adam: Oh, it must be so scary, being so far out of your human echo chamber~!

Jaune: Oh, fuck off! Alright, open wide.

Adam: Wait, wait, wait!

Jaune: What?!

Adam: ...So you won't even debate me?

Jaune: ...What?

Adam: You don't even want to have an honest debate with me?

Jaune: An honest debate?

Adam: What, are you too afraid?

Jaune: What is there to debate?! You're a terrorist!

Adam: Then why not debate me?!

Jaune: Why would I- Fine! Fine! I'll debate you! What are we debating?

Adam: ...

Adam: You're trying to trap me.

Jaune: HOW?

Adam: Oh, you'll twist my [SAMPLE TEXT] and make me look like the bad guy, aren't you?

Jaune: YOU'RE WEARING A MASK SHAPED AFTER A GRIMM! YOU ALREADY LOOK LIKE THE BAD GUY!

Adam: You know what you have? You have this "woke mind virus" that's been floating around!

Jaune: The fuck are you talking about?!

Adam: I'm sorry to say this, but you're brainwashed. You won't even hear the other side!

Jaune: ALRIGHT, ENOUGH! I see where this is going, and I get it, okay? Woke. Terrorist. I get it. This is all very political, but I don't really care. But you know what? There's one point you made that I kind of agree with; violence doesn't have to be the immediate answer.

--------------------------------------------------

Later, at the combination taco/chicken place...

Adam: Oh my god, you are so right... This is amazing...

Jaune: A taco in one hand, a bucket of mashed potatoes in the other. THAT'S what I think everyone should be free to enjoy!

Adam: I- And I'm not joking when I say this, but when I took just one bite of this with a sip of this iconic soft drink and now my entire ideology has completely changed! I am no longer filled with violence and spite! I believe in... in good shit now! I believe in the popular opinion!

Jaune: Man, that- That is fucking fantastic to hear...

Adam: Isn't it?

Jaune: I was worried that I was going to have to paint the walls with red- with your blood, y'know?

Adam: Yes, my blood is red.

Jaune: And now we're just chillin'! I mean, this is like a reference for me!

Adam: It's good!

Jaune: It's very good!

Adam: Would you like a sip of my iconic soft drink?

Jaune: Nah, sorry, I don't actually like that stuff-

Adam: (Whips out weapon) YOU SON OF A WHORE!

Jaune: WHATAREYOUNOTGONNADEBATE MENOW?! AREYOUNOTGONNA DEBATEME?!

Excluding the crucial fact that office jobs pay you an income….if staying home to raise children and do chores and bake bread was really so much easier and more joyful than working in an office on some objective level, why aren’t men doing it? Why aren’t they chomping at the bit to be ~leisurely house husbands~ to a working wife? Why aren’t they stepping up to depend solely on someone else’s income in exchange for round-the-clock domestic labor, if it’s really as blissful and their propaganda suggests? Curious.

Rest in Peace James Earl Jones. You truly were one of the best. 🫡

Since your doing the DP and Wolverine prompts does this mean that Nora’s used Jaunes dead body as a weapon or just his sword?

Deadpool used Logan's bones because they are metal, so in this case I chose a third option that I came up with. --------------

Nora arrives at a forest where a cross marks the site of a grave.

Nora: (Narrating) For a long time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be back. VIZ Media bought RWBY, there was a whole boring rights issue, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then, it turned out that they wanted me! the one girl who shouldn’t even have her own show! That was all so stupid. Look, we know the title of this thing, so I know what you’re wondering. How are we going to do this without dishonoring Jaune's memory? And I’ll tell you how. We’re not.

Nora then starts digging

Nora: (Narrating) I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Jaune is not dead. Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story, but that’s not how his Aura boosting thing works. You think I want to be out here in beautiful downtown North of Vale, digging up the one and only Rusted Knight? No, thank you. But the fate of my entire world is at stake. He may not be living his best life, but he sure as hell ain’t dead.

Nora finally reaches the bottom and finds the coffin.

Nora: Bingo... Yahtzee...

She then begins to tear apart the coffin.

*Smack! Tap! Scratch! Bang!*

Nora: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

*Crack!*

She makes a hole in the coffin and then…

Nora: Damn it!

She didn't like what she found.

Nora: Son of a bitch! *Hits the cross* Fuck! Motherfucker! My world is fucked!

Moments later....

Nora leaning against a fallen tree

Nora: *Talking to his right while the camera is only focus on her* That was weird. I’m much calmer now. Look, I’m not a woman of science, but you seem incredibly passed away.

The camera zooms out to show a very dead and skeleton-like Jaune, but still wearing his armor.

Nora: But it’s good to see ya. I gotta be honest, I’ve always wanted to ride with you, Jaune. You and me, getting into a Ladypool and Rusted Knight. Just fucking shit up. Can you imagine the fun,... the chaos,... the residuals?

She then starts playing with Jaune's helmet.

Nora: (Mimicking Jaune's voice) That's right Nora. There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of RWBY cash.

Nora: Me too, Jaune. *Gets upset* No, no, no, no. Ugh, he had to get all noble and die for real. God damn it! *Looks back at Jaune* I could really use your help right now.

Suddenly, a group of futuristic soldiers appear out of nowhere. Nora sees them and hides along with Jaune's corpse.

Nora: Wait! I’m warning you! I’m not alone!

Soldier: Nora Valkyrie! You’re under arrest by the Time Variance Authority. Too many crimes with this, come out!

Nora: I hate this guys.

Soldier: Last chance! Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully!

Nora: I’m not gonna give you my weapons! But I promise not to use them. *Looks at you the reader* Did you know that Jaune's armor is made by a lot of pieces together? Here we go, maximum effort.

Nora jumps out of her hiding spot, and uses Jaune's corpse as cover. The soldiers are confused.

Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC It starts to play.

Nora: *Looks at Jaune* Okay, Jaune. I guess we’re getting that team up after all.

Nora grabs a piece of Jaune's armor and throws it at one of the soldiers, killing him instantly. The other companions of the deceased are stunned, but seconds later they run towards them as more soldiers appear.

Nora takes two pieces of armor from Jaune's shoulders and uses them to stab two of the soldiers. One in the back, and the other one she slashes and then stabs him in the head. Following with a kick that makes the piece come out the other side of the guy.

She then uses her leg armor and begins to swing around, hitting the soldiers in the face. She knocks one to the right, another to the ground, and one to the left. She then takes her phone and takes a photo of herself kissing one of the deceased on the helmet.

She then takes both of Jaune's arm armors, bones and all, and begins to slap each and every one of them like it's a game. With what remains of the armor already shattered, she kills the remaining ones. I use Jaune's fingers to stab one of them. Jaune's head to hit another one in the genitals. What's left of the legs to stab quite hard right into the chest of another soldier who was running.

Nora: What is this?

Nora notices a part of the armor that looks like a sword handle and pulls it out. And just at that moment a blue sword blade appears as if it were a lightsaber.

Nora: *GASP!!!!* IT'S THE SWORD OF DESTRUCTION!!!

Nora: I am soaking wet right now.

Nora: (Narrating) To be clear, I’m not proud of any of this. The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia, it isn’t who I am, it isn’t who I wanna be. Who I wanna be? Well, to help you understand that, I gotta take you back. My little joy ride I took through space and time, to the day that changed everything.

Nora: (Narrating) But that will be for another day, because the idiot who wrote all this is a little tired.

Strange Academy: Blood Hunt #1 - "How to Save a Life" (2024)

written by Daniel Jose Older art by Eric Gapstur, Scott Hanna, & Erick Arciniega

RIP to a true legend❤️