Jokes That Will Never Stop Being Funny

just saw bna opening and i'm dissapointed in myself for not watching it, so i'll go watch it

i just wanna suffocate under my thick blanket while it's cold outside

if i die, i want my bones to be used as flower food

i got some oreos, hopefully no spiders in 'em 😎

you ever had the strange and unexplainable impulse urge to paint your lips with nail polish?

Legends

And there's another notch in the cord,

the strings are frayed,

and it looks like it might unravel,

or break apart, perhaps,

but it doesn't.

it never does.

holy shit

i love it

Idk

i got two notifs

they were me

that's horrible!

heres some random updates so you can get a grasp on whats happening here in the philippines:

professors are urging their students to let them know if theyre not gonna come to class so theyll know that theyre still alive

parents are telling their kids not to come home late, or if they will, to take an uber even though its priced like 5x more

people are sharing constitutional rights on twitter, to teach everyone what to say to the popos just in case

nobody trusts the police anymore

police have a QUOTA of “drug addicts” they need to kill

almost 13k dead without due process, but chines drug lords and presidents son who were involved in a drug smuggling worth 6 billion are still walking free

all it takes is a facebook rumor to put you on the hit list

politicians who are criticizing the administration are being impeached

politicians who love the administration admit that their duty is to the president, NOT to the people

theres been talks in extending the presidents term

It literally feels like an unofficial dictatorship

please help us

i want to know what Neil thinks of this metaphor for him

this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck