Soulmate

Me: I love space so much

My grandpa: Do you love it like a scientist or like a poet?

Me: What’s the difference?

Pa: The scientist loves the mystery they can spend a lifetime solving, the poet loves the mystery they can spend a lifetime loving

“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

...I'm gonna buy a rubber duck

i think i might be sleep deprived, but i haven't slept enough to be able to tell

oh my god, the smell of hair bleach

there is possibly a gigantic being on my ceiling, as it is night time and i am essentially blind without my glasses, i cannot tell, but it is very likely my gigantic scary spider friend that pops out randomly and terrifies me to no end

if i die, i want my bones to be used as flower food

Shane, being tall: being short is ok

Ricky!Ryan, dagger eyes: if the sky falls, tall people will be killed first

these kids