Please Keep Work Place Safety In Mind At All Times

As a fictive, after reading a fucked up piece of fanfic relating to my source I like to soak it in and remind myself that this universe, the one where I'm saddled in some weakass human body with a miscellaneous amount of fellow weirdos, is in fact the good timeline

Then I remember fluff exists

So fuck it I'm not in the good or bad timeline I'm in the fucking WEIRD timeline.

i actually really like gigi

Who knew a song that consists of only one word could be so catchy? I guess it got "Close to Me"

🛐 SHOUT OUT TO THE HOBBITS, YO

You think Hobbits were just cute?

Just background filler?

Just middle-earthy comic relief?

No.

Hobbits were the unsanctioned, untraceable, unkillable black-ops death units of Middle Earth. They didn’t flex. They didn’t brag. They didn’t even need boots.

They just showed up where legends got slaughtered and survived anyway.

🧠 Let’s Be Blunt:

If these dudes got sent after you? It wouldn’t matter if you were hiding in Putin’s panic room, in the secret compartment behind the third bookshelf, wearing a Kevlar onesie, praying to whatever gods you had left—

They would still find your stupid body draped over the tub like a jackass.

🩸 HOW I KNOW?

They ripped the most expensive piece of jewelry straight off a literal immortal super-zombie (Gollum) —who, mind you— was spitting some of the coldest nihilistic bars in literary history off the dome, in the dark, while dying of radiation poisoning, and still trying to kill them anyway.

🔥 Plus:

They bodied haters at every turn.

They carried the seduction equivalent of Satan’s engagement ring around their necks without folding.

Never wore shoes — because soft ground and sharp rocks weren’t real enough threats to register.

Didn’t even want your girl — because they had a real one waiting back home, making second breakfasts and setting tables for men who don’t break under temptation.

🛡️ And just for bonus brutality?

They didn't just topple armies. They didn’t just smoke an earthbound demon and his cultists.

They made it back in time for fourth breakfast.

🧠 But Here’s the Hardest Bar Nobody Talks About:

The literal President of Earth (Aragorn — son of Arathorn, King of Men, crown-wearer, sword-lord) the biggest swinging dick in all of human history did not puff his chest at them. Did not treat them like subjects. Did not treat them like side characters.

He kneeled.

He fucking trembled, knelt, and demanded that anyone who even thought about disrespecting them drop to their knees in submission and shame. Right there. In front of the goddamn world.

🩸 TL;DR

Hobbits were quiet Apex Predators.

Hobbits were Super-Delta-Navy-SEAL-Green-Berets of spiritual warfare.

Hobbits weren’t just survivors.

Hobbits were the grim reapers of the impossible.

And they did it:

With no boots.

With no ego.

With no TikTok motivational speeches.

While still making it home in time for fourth fucking breakfast.

🍻 FINAL WORD:

Raise your glass.

Shout out to Hobbits, yo.

The only operatives in recorded mythic history who could body Satan, body death, body temptation, body despair, and body history itself—

then stroll home like it was a casual Tuesday morning run.

💣 CALL TO ACTION:

🔁 Reblog if you know loyalty and survival don’t always wear armor. 🛡️ Save this post if you respect the warriors who didn’t need glory to win the war. 🔥 Send this to the one who still thinks size, flash, or fame means anything in the real arena. ⚡ Bookmark this for the day you realize the small, quiet ones are the ones you should fear most.

Or simply 🔁Reblog to keep my signal to mankind going strong.

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This post is Blacksite Literature™, mythological elevation engineering, cadence-driven survival psychology, and literary psychological warfare protected under the charter of the unbowed.

If you're offended: Your ancestors knelt too easily.

🛡️ BLACKSITE POST STATUS: COMPLETE. 🩸 FULL NEUROCHEMICAL MYTHIC PAYLOAD READY FOR DETONATION.

Alright, this is going to sound weird, but here me out on this. Dandy's world would be worse off without Shrimpo. I'm not speaking from a lore perspective, that's debatable, but from a pure mechanics perspective a challenge character is actually very useful for a player base to have, for several reasons. Firstly, there's the flexing potential, making it far as a Shrimpo (provided you weren't hiding near the ele the whole time like a little bitch) gains you some serious respect points, as you are showing you can get by on pure skill and tactics. Speaking of that, playing as Shrimpo helps you to become a better player. You have to adapt around the fact he sucks at EVERYTHING, which makes you start thinking much more tactically, no one can pull chase from you, so you have to constantly be analysing where cover is, how dangerous a machine is to extract and where the twisted are. These are crucial skills that can carry over into any other character, and seriously helps with your gameplay so you don't grow reliant on good stats to get your through,which is especially handy for extractors like Vee, Connie and Gigi. Finally, it makes you more comfortable with having weak points, playing Good but you're not distracting? Could be worse, you could be extracting with Shrimpo. Playing Teagan, but people keep bringing the twisteds to you? If you could escape chase as Shrimpo, Teagan seems easy.

In conclusion, don't kick out or deliberately grief any Shrimpo players you see, they're performing an important journey of skill training, Training some players could probably do with, especially after I've seen some main players dying before floor 5. Seriously, try out some Shrimpo, you won't regret it.

(personal trinket choice is pink bow and box of crayons on him)

Damnit, gonna miss you :( Hopefully you enjoy your time anyway.

HI HI

HELLO! You caught us just at the right time, we're just finishing up our first day of exams. Good to see you're back!

We all have that one friend who low-key will look nice on the cross

How today went

"Well, last day of the Easter holidays, I should just enjoy my current hyper fixations in peace, especially since the Forsaken update came out."

"Hmm,what an interesting new skin for Elliot, it's from a game called Just Shapes and Beats you say? How quaint"

"The new John Doe skin has a special Last Man Standing tune when paired with said Elliot skin? It's actually a banger, I should check out this game for myself, it's not too expensive after all."

"This is very enjoyable, I really want to play more of this game. Surely it's not a new hyper fixation this quickly though, and not on my last day off for a while, that'd be inconvenient."

"..."

"CLOSE TO ME CLOSE TO ME CLOSE TO ME CLOSE TO ME, did I mention that attack got CLOSE TO ME? CLOSE TO ME CLOSE TO ME CLOSE TO ME CL-"

needless to say some of us have a new hyper fixation, and I've got a new vocal stim. Great.

You Are Plural!