[ID: A Google Doc With The Italicized Text: “orpheus Loves Eurydice.” “loves” Has A Blue Underline

Laika’s still up there. not her body, sure, but her soul is. i saw it through my telescope one night when i was looking for aliens. she was sniffing for table scraps under saturn’s ring. she chases comets and bites down on satellites. i saw her napping by neptune, she was kicking her feet. passing through the oort cloud is like the stroke of a hand on her fur. eyes like marbles and four little paws like flames. she bobs through jupiter’s moons like cold moscow streets. up there the stars are a great big field. and look, she’s running so fast. god damn, look at her go.

language is so fun. yippee! language is a game and im winning. competitive ranked language. professional language player

I love you phonetics I love you descriptivism I love you minority languages I love you dialects I love you accents I love you suffixes and prefixes I love you fossil words I love you outdated letters and pronouns I love you etymology I love you preservation of endangered languages I love you visible remnants of the way a language used to be I love you linguistics

see i already knew this bc when i do any sort of problem solving it's literally caveman noises "oh? oh? ugh... oh! oh? oh! oh!!!!" zero comprehensible language ive streamlined the process with my perfectly smooth brain

i love you hubble telescope i love you webb telescope i love you cassini probe i love you voyager 1 probe i love you voyager 2 probe i love you new horizons probe i love you galileo probe i love you juno probe i love you messenger probe i love you all aluminum and titanium spiders sent into the big black night bringing us images of skies forever away

How Ponify ruined my life

Possibly the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me occurred today. So I’m in a creative writing class at university right now and we had to print out twenty-five copies of our first, one page assignment to distribute to the class. I had to print mine at the computer lab as I don’t have a printer, but here are the three crucial facts that made this the worst mistake of my life.

1. Sometimes, when you log into Google on Chrome, it activates all of your extensions, even ones you’ve deactivated.

2. In high school, my friends and I got really into Ponify (a words replacing chrome extension) and switched the preferences so we could read political articles and have congress get into a “rousing snow ball fight” and the like.

3. Ponify reverted to its original My Little Pony lingo when opened on a new computer’s chrome.

So when I distributed my twenty-five copies of this I noticed the word “everypony”, my heart seized up and dropped into my stomach, and with my imminent death approaching, I began furiously correcting all twenty-five of them. My teacher, confusedly, agreed to let me correct them as I was too infuriated and ashamed to say my mistake aloud. 

I just realized, however, that the line “as she watched the binding fall away in her hand” was changed to “as she watched the binding fall away in her hoof”. 

And I just had to send this email:

And basically I’m ready for death how was your day

"how do you get stuff done?" bitch with tears in my eyes 😭

everyone always says that the best profession you can have if you love hearing tea is working in HR but I disagree. as a lawyer you literally get the tea from all angles and from everyone involved and get to ask questions about it and make people swear that it’s true under the penalties of perjury. you also get to gather receipts and be like, but your honor, the receipts

POV: You wanna but you don't wanna study