gonnagithigh

Latest Posts by gonnagithigh

In the 80s and 90s, my parents smoked cigarettes in the house and the pets lived in the backyard. Now, the pets live in the house and my parents smoke in the backyard.

What's with all the fake graduations? Congratulations, you've "graduated" from middle school! What an achievement!

Did anyone watch the #backtheblue hearing last night?

Agreed but as I'm currently in Hawaii the effect is in reverse overdrive as I'm worshipping the fucking ghost rocks here.

h so there’s an inside joke around the western states (esp between the West Coast Trio) the further east you go the more likely you get possessed since the Eastern states kind of radiate… some off vibe. Note necessarily bad vibes, but there’s some sort of Eerie Haunted Flair they get when travelling east. Like there’s Stressed And Angry revolutionary soldiers all spitefully lounging around the area to rub it into people’s faces. They’re not really wrong in this assumption, either, because there’s some sort of collective fascination for the supernatural among some of the Eastern states, mostly near the coast. Not everyone obviously - I don’t think New York would pay too much mind to that. Then there’s some other states who are incredibly into that stuff (see; Connecticut. I’ll get into that some other day) and then there’s Pennsylvania who straight-up sees ghosts, or to others he claims to be able to do so.

It baffles so many of the West states because they’re not super Ghost savvy so if someone like Oregon went over there one day he’d be absolute fucking baffled to see someone like Delaware casually mentioning that he’s spoken with an apparition of a dead girl before and he’d speak of her like she was some sort of highschool friend he caught up with.

Why do the folks who foam at the mouth appreciating the 2nd Amendment also get off to those "Back the Blue" stickers? Don't they know? The 2nd Amendment is there so we can "Shoot the Blue" when government turns tyrannical and starts crushing our humanity. That slogan is diametrically opposed to the 2nd Amendment.

Will someone tell the iPhone crowd to stop sending video over SMS? No one wants to see your grainy ass clips.

Are masochists exempt from the Golden Rule?

Once a particularly dull minded friend remarked that none of the Love Death + Robots episodes were "very interesting" to him. My first thought was a donkey would not find it interesting either.

Watch "Ariana Grande Acted Like Jennifer Lawrence" on YouTube

YouTube

Ariana Grande Acted Like Jennifer Lawrence

Ariana Grande shows off her comedy chops, not too shabby!

Ever notice how it's almost always the "mother's boyfriend" when a child is killed? Not a coincidence.

People naming kids all sorts of craziness these days. I've been well aware that "Nevaeh" is heaven spelled backwards, so when one of my kids told me her bff was "Nael", my first thought was "lean" spelled backwards. I was wrong, Nael is a real name.

Every white dude I know over 30 just cannot hang out without bringing up the subject of bourbon, talking exhaustively about bourbon, showing me their many bottles of bourbon, and asking me to taste one or more of their many bourbons.

"Yep, this one also tastes like bourbon"

Is yelling "TERF!" in a crowded Tumblr thread still considered free speech?

Me when my youngest child aged out of the toddler / preschool years:

Me now when I'm around other toddlers / preschoolers:

When following old friends you don't see or speak to IRL anymore, Facebook seems to accelerate time when it comes to the "cycle of grief". The newsfeed is literally "lost a spouse, grieving publicly, back in love, remarried", all in the same day.

Self proclaimed "outdoorsy" people are mostly delusional, and a special kind of stupid. All it takes is one episode of "Naked and Afraid" to see that these types are no match for actual nature, which is 99% biting insects, parasites, and starvation.

Will Smith laughing at the joke, seeing Jada's face, then assaulting Chris Rock indicates to me he was not defending his wife's honor but defending himself against his wife's wrath.

Red Table Talk is about to get interesting.

Remember folks, we are just now coming out of a period where ALMOST half of the country thought those millions of people who sported the "I Voted" sticker were UNPATRIOTIC. Stay vigilante.

The fraternity hashtag brings up the expected, but each photo is also hashtagged with alpha. What a joke. These are college aged children that haven't made their way in life, most have never even taken care of their most basic economic needs without mommy and daddy's help. Boys aren't alpha, men are. Finish your education and prove you can take care of yourself and your family in the real world, only then can you call yourself alpha.

Kids, have you ever been simultaneously in love and annoyed with your Tamagatchi pet? Like, Jesus Christ what the fuck do you want now? I just fed you and played with you! That's what parenthood feels like. Have fun with that!

Congress is moving towards permanent daylight savings time. Fuck that. There is nothing worse than work and school starting before the sun rises. Stop fucking with our circadian rhythm!

The Batman, we've entered a new era, one fit for old graying millennials who were scarred and at the same time enthralled by The Crow as a child, eho were introduced to detective noire after school by WB's brilliant Batman animated series, who listened to early industrial goth techno pop and scoffed while the adult world marveled at the new Internet and its unlimited possibilities, whose parents worked hard and provided well but were emotionally absent, who discovered the world of secret and not so secret conspiracies, one where whistleblowers were no longer heroes but enemies of the state. This is our Batman.

[Bruce] is fully committed to being Batman and he’s just not seen by the city at all. He has no desire to be Bruce in this and he wants to just throw it away. He thinks that this is the way he can save himself, by living in this kind of Zen state as Batman, where it’s just pure instinct and no emotional baggage. —Robert Pattinson

BRUCE WAYNE in THE BATMAN (2022)

There are two reasons to condemn Turning Red.

1. You don't believe girls have the right to knowledge, even through allegory, about the transition to womanhood.

2. You are the Devouring Mother archetype, hence see number 1.

Word of advice to the college bound: General business undergrad degrees are all kind of bullshit and useless. Anything that falls under science, technology, engineering, arts, and math will do more to prepare you to create a new world and lead in your future industry.

Pete Carroll Reveals His Feelings On Colin Kaepernick

Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll shared his feelings on free agent quarterback Colin Kaepernick. Check it out.

Do you want to know the state of white man America these days? They still won’t hire a most qualified Black man for the job after he brought up race in the workplace, even the ones with job openings that say nice things about him. 

Fans Think Grimes Wrote Secret Reddit Posts About Elon Musk Detailing Alleged Abuse During Their Relationship

If this is really true, Elon Musk sounds awful.

I’m convinced! Aside from this, Grimes’ mother on Twitter is great  @Garossino. 

A job is basically "do this, do that, do this, do that" until you've had enough, then they get someone else slightly more desperate to participate in the "do this, do that, do this, do that" game.

When Tim Burton was nearly tarred and feathered by DC fanboys for casting Beetlejuice actor Michael Keaton as Batman, he said (paraphrasing here) "if Bruce Wayne really had a square jaw and broad shoulders, he wouldn't have to dress like a fucking bat".

I think that Robert Pattinson’s choice to Not Bulk Up and have the macho man Batman build honestly helps sells the believability of the secret identity. No one in Gotham is going to look at Bruce “I look like a traumatized crusty white dog” Wayne and say hes the Batman “I am the night” Vigilante.

Pattinson’s Bruce Wanye looks one stiff breeze from being knocked over and you want to say he’s out punching five dudes three times above his weight class?? Are you insane?? He’s Gotham’s skrungly. Their emo bitch useless billionaire who wears sunglasses inside because he’s a weirdo.

In order to be a good parental role model, I no longer smoke weed. Edible, topicals, patches, and sublinguals are the way to go.