Just As I Think That This Can’t Get Any Worse, I Am Always Unpleasantly Reminded That, Yes. This Can

Trying to enjoy the last hour and a half of Zuzana Čaputová being my president and trying not to cry

Some are calmer and it's just something that pulls me closer to certain things. But I love some special interests so much that when anything even remotely related to it is mentioned, the excitement breaks the scale and turns into physical pain. Full body reaction, discomfort with vague pain in my chest. So filled with joy that I burst and it turns into misery again. But special interests give my life a meaning and were almost always the reason why I chose not to kms.

My special interests feel like they are studying themselves on their own while things that don't interest me are sometimes impossible to study. Often when I'm researching a SI, questions start spawning in my mind and they spiral to the point where finding the answer becomes impossible and I become frustrated. It's like I'm trying to zoom in to an infinitely small point that I know I'll never get to, but it still hurts.

autistic people: what does having a special interest feel like to you?

(and if u want to say, what is your current special interest?)

wanna date !? 💜⚡️

frankenhooker - elizabeth shelley

Ok so I was in the uni city for 2 days to carry some more stuff there and to acquaint myself with the environment and while there I bought pralines for my friend to cheer him up because he's going through a tough time plus we probably won't see eachother for a long time. But I knew my parents would see the box so I bought them both some smaller boxes so that they (mother) wouldn't be irritated. I got a bar of chocolate for free with the purchase and mother was like "you can eat it so you can keep having acne"😃 I should have been a bitch and not buy them anything, especially that expensive but see, being away from them was pretty beneficial to my mental health and I lost my grumpiness while away so...

there r real teens out there who think discovering nirvana is a special achievement 

Masoch 1980 (movie)

here it is. It was on youtube for a few years, but I think it has been taken down this year. I had downloaded it because I am insane so I am now re-uploading it on vimeo at this link https://vimeo.com/1012742172?share=copy

Unfortunately, there are no subtitles :(

I might be able to translate a good amount of it but I don't know how to make subtitles.

It's a pretty bad movie in my opinion. It follows Rümelin's autobiography very loosely and the actors are... not great. Costumes are shit, haircuts are debatable. And yeah, that's kind of it. I do not understand how this got to the Festival di Venezia I think it's a bit ehhh you know what I mean. I don't like it. I really don't. It's a good movie to watch while stoned out of your mind cause the actors have a very strange line delivery.

Here is also the soundtrack. Yes, I have this downloaded too. :)

Also, I literally just found out that the actress playing Aurora, Francesca De Sapio, was in the Padrino II.

Anyway, Sacher-Masoch fandom, watch party when???

On another note, if you want another Sacher-Masoch related media coming from Italy look no further than Crepax's Venus in Furs. This one is actually very nice, and you can also find it in English. Unfortunately, I can't find it any more online T_T. I had a link to it but now it's dead. If I can find a physical copy I'll scan it and upload it somewhere 'cause it really is a shame :(. Here are some of the pictures I can find online to give you an idea. It's very nice and it's a very short read.

And also the Intervista Impossibile by Oreste del Buono is fantastic. https://www.raiplaysound.it/audio/2020/09/Le-interviste-impossibili--Oreste-Del-Buono-incontra-Leopold-Von-Sacher-Masoch-f7dd930b-3d68-47cd-95ad-9c73bec45638.html

Speedrunning german language because I have HAVE HAVE to read Die drei Kinder im Herrengarten by Marfa von Sacher-Masoch and all her hopelessly obscure work

I need a new hyperfixation so bad. I feel so broken when my interests don't consume 95% of my waking thoughts.