grey--scales

Latest Posts by grey--scales

beautiful women named “Participate in OCD clinical trial” keep messaging me

saw barbie

gettin full-named and receiving psychic damage

A little Stephanie Brown comic

As much as I love the movie, they really shouldn’t have named the child character Cassandra Cain. I understand why they did, I really do. But come on.

Firstly, because the character is kind of a mix of Stephanie Brown and Jason Todd. They should have either gone with Stephanie or said fuck it and used them both. 

Secondly, racebending is a thing, the thing they actually have already done. In the movie. 

Thirdly, Black Mask gets exploded. Like, fucking finally. Batman stories almost always end with the villain committing atrocities yet they still live to keep committing atrocities in the next issue, and after everything the audience has been through for decades, it felt great to see Black Mask die. And on a meta level, Stephanie and Jason are THE two characters who deserve to see him blown to bloody pieces. It would have been even more cathartic for us to see him die trying to kill Stephanie. 

Fourthly (is… is that a word? I’m kind of feverish right now, and typing real slowly), imagine Stephanie later dying her hair blond as an homage to Harley, her mentor and guardian in the movie-verse. This way you can have a blond Stephanie just like the nitpickers would say they wanted to AND some found family cuteness.

Fifthly (fuck it, English ain’t hard, but making coherent points is), imagine Bruce Wayne meeting this Stephanie (and Jason if you decided to add him after all), and Stephanie goes ‘I know a Bruce. And you’re not even half as nice as he is.’ And then Bruce finds out she was talking about Bruce the Hyena.

stephanie brown is worth any wrist pain <3

my piece from the Gotham City Unmasked Fanbook!

undercuts

[ID: A 3-page comic and an illustration of Conner Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Bart Allen, and Tim Drake from DC Comics.

Comic Page 1

Panel 1: Cassie enters the living room, stretching. In the foreground, Kon holds an electric hair clipper.

Tim, off panel: Hey Cassie. Cassie: *yawn* Hey Tim, hey Kon. Kon: Hey Cassie.

Panel 2: Cassie touches the back of Kon’s head. Kon turns towards her, putting the clipper down.

Cassie: Hair coming in? Kon: Yeah. Cassie: Huh. I’ve always wondered how that feels. Kon: The undercut? Cassie: Yeah.

Panel 3: Cassie continues touching the back of Kon’s head, curious. In the background, Bart speeds in with armfuls of bags in street wear.

Cassie: Ooo, stubbly. Kon: You wanna try? Bart: HEY GUYS SUP Cassie: Hey Bart. Kon: Hey Bart.

Panel 4: Cassie sits by the table with Kon. Kon turns towards Bart, who’s simultaneously in the kitchen putting away his purchases and drinking water, and in the foreground doing a thumbs up holding a pillow, having changed into a sweatshirt.

Cassie: Kon’s fixing his undercut. Kon: And Cassie’s maybe getting one. Bart: Yeah you’d look great! Kon: Yeah she would. Cassie: Thanks.

Comic Page 2

Panel 1: A close up on the upper half of Bart’s face. He looks wary.

Cassie, off panel: You wanna get one too? Bart: I dunno, are you guys gonna make fun of my hair again?

Panel 2: Bart looks up at Tim, who’s hanging upside down from the ceiling and holding a phone.

Tim: In fairness, half bald would be an improvement from completely bald, kinda. Bart: Hey Tim. Tim: Hey Bart.

Panel 3: Kon turns towards Tim, who continues to hang upside down whilst smiling smugly. Cassie gestures at the back of her head, turned to Bart.

Kon: “Kinda”? Tim: Mm. Kon: Wow. Cassie: Isn’t the suit uncomfortable with the hair? Bart: In hindsight yeah but like, do I have the face for an undercut?

Panel 4: Cassie thinks thoughtfully. Bart leans his cheek against Kon’s shoulder. Kon shifts slightly to make space for Tim.

Cassie: Has there ever been a “bad” undercut? Bart: Worst case you could do wigs again. Cassie: Ugh. Tim, off panel: Batwoman says undercuts are better with suits like hers. Kon: Batwoman has an undercut?

Comic Page 3

Panel 1: Cassie and Bart look up at Tim. Kon looks at them, curious; Tim also looks at them, but disgruntled instead.

Cassie: I’ll get one if Bart gets one. Bart: I’ll get one if Time gets one. Tim: Why am I involved.

Panel 2: Cassie and Kon huddle around Bart, gesturing towards him. The trio do their best at making the most angelic expression they can muster. Tim gives them a deadpan stare.

Cassie: Think about Bart! Bart: What about Bart! Kon: For Bart, Tim!

Panel 3: Tim continues to give them a deadpan stare.

Panel 4: The deadpan stare continues. The other three cheer.

Tim: … sure? Cassie, Bart, and Kon: YEAH!

Illustration

Kon sits behind Tim, inspecting the back of Tim’s head closely, holding an electric hair clipper; Tim’s head is bowed slightly, looking down at Bart whose head is laid on his lap; Cassie lays arms crossed on Bart’s stomach. The atmosphere is easy and comfortable. They all have undercuts.

End ID.]

can someone draw this with Bruce and Damian instead?

Batblob but he’s just the whole dsm5

you’re a genius and i couldn’t resist making a shitty version of this on my phone

Pretty please? I'll be your best friend.

How do you see Stephanie Brown, and what do you think that others get wrong?

I see Stephanie Brown as someone who has always, always refused to break.

I think that’s the first thing that people always lose sight of with her. In the Nu52, Steph’s trauma and history and stubbornness ended up being erased in favor of her being a fish-out-of-water newcomer to the scene.

Steph has not had an easy time of things. She is an abuse survivor, who had to deal with her mother’s struggles with opioid addiction. Friends and family of her parents couldn’t be trusted, and so she grew up, alone, longing for someone to come along, to understand, to help. She built up an idea of Batman as that perfect adult she never had, of the person who actually could help her, could understand her, and would.

But no one came. No one helped. Therapy and jail and stints on the Suicide Squad only made her father more dangerous, rather than helping him, and she was becoming more and more aware of the full extent of his abuse towards her mother.

So she saves herself.

First, and foremost, Steph saves herself.

Steph is kind, and happy, but what I think people don’t understand is that her kind of joy is a choice. It’s a fight, every day, and she is fighting tooth and nail for it, every day. It’s not always easy, she doesn’t always succeed. But she is, at the heart of herself, railing against the cycles and systems of abuse that has defined her life, has defined the lives of her friends and the people she is trying to help.

Her life is, fundamentally, an attempt to break that cycle, and to help others break it to. She believes in second-chances, because you need them, because people make mistakes, and stumble, but if you are going to heal, if you are going to improve, you need those chances. To break a vicious cycle, you need an exit, and she is fighting hard for those exits.

And I think people struggle to understand that, to understand that her happiness, her kindness, are a choice made in spite of the cruelty of Gotham and the world. It’s not that it doesn’t affect her; it shapes her entire life, and she burns with that injustice, burns with the fact that every system failed her, failed her mother, failed Cass.

And that’s why she stays, that’s why she keeps fighting, because if Stephanie Brown is ever going to be more than the daughter of a supervillain, the girl who looks just like Arthur Brown, the teenaged mom, the girl who was Robin for seventy-one days… she has to.

And she is. She’s Batgirl. She’s Robin. She’s Spoiler.

And that’s something worth smiling about.

How would you characterize Tim Drake, quirks and all?

I’ve been having an IDENTITY CRISIS trying to figure this boy out because I think I kin him but then I’m like “but do I really know him though? Is my knowledge on him REALLY enough to Kin him?

I don’t want to bother you or anything! Im just curious to see if maybe from your response it can validate me LMAO.

Oh my dear lovely anon, you came to the right place. Tim Drake breathes and I kin it with all of my being.

Either way, I've been analyzing his character for the past two years through fanon and what comics I can get my hands on and this is kinda what I know so far.

Hope you enjoy.

To really understand Tim's character you have to look at his childhood. Now, in canon, his parents are neglectful at times but they aren't as bad as fanon likes to portray them. In both, Tim is usually left on his own in either a mental/emotional or physical state. He learned very early on that his parents are role models and authority figures, not caregivers or emotional support. So he grew up to value independence to an extreme extent.

Relying on people is a gamble but relying on himself is always secure. He's the kind of kid who will ask the teacher if he can do a group project alone because he knows he'll get an A that way and will avoid the drama of teammates. Tim flies solo extremely often half because its easier and half because the boy has trust issues.

One thing unpredictable parents gives you is paranoia, and this boy has it in loads. He's slow to trust because again, people are a gamble. He has a million backup plans but people are unpredictable and still stump him sometimes. Even within his own family, Tim feels out of place. He's caught in a constant state of "waiting for the second shoe to drop". It's a nasty habit but every time people make plans with him he'll never expect them to follow through.

Tim is incredibly secretive, enough that he has and will lie to his teammates and even Batman himself. He is often seen as the smart "perfect Robin" (think Ravenclaw) when really, Tim is the most cunning and tactical of any of them. Tim will do whatever is necessary for the sake of the mission and for the sake of lives. He will play dirty. Think Lawful Chaotic: he has a set of moral rules but no one can figure them out. He's a Slytherin through and through, he's resourceful and incredibly conniving.

That being said, the poor kid is traumatized, depressed, and starved for affection. It may take years to gain his trust but once that trust is given, Tim is the most loyal person on the planet. He will fight for the people he loves and will destroy the world making sure they stay safe. He never gives up when there's still a chance, even if its infinitesimal, Tim will fight like it's a certainty.

It may seem like Tim sucks at partnerships but his loyalty and cunningness makes him one of the best partners to have on a team. The Core Four is a true testament to how much Tim's habits change when it comes to the people he loves. He is adaptable and will be whatever you need him to be. Yet, that comes with a price as well.

See, Tim only ever receives love after being useful. His parents gave him praise after achieving something or being a good Drake model---something that was useful to them and not an actual Tim trait. Tim finds a loving home only after becoming a stand-in Robin. This typically manifests in Tim constantly needing to feel needed or useful in some way, shape, or form.

He's a team leader not only because he finds it hard to delegate tasks to people (trust issues) but because he finds security in people relying on him. Tim will stress himself out to the brink just so he can continue to be useful to the people around him. If you asked him to list his favorite traits about himself that didn't have to do with pleasing others, you'll stump him. The second he isn't useful all his insecurities and paranoia will fester until he pushes people who love him away.

With all these mental blocks, it comes as no surprise that Tim has terrible self-esteem. The Red Robin series makes it painfully obvious how little Tim cares for his life, he'll pawn it off if it'll advance a case. He's cautious and strategic about his attacks, yet reckless and self-sacrificing at the same time. He has little regard for himself because no ones ever proven otherwise.

At the end of the day he's prized for his intellect the most and that's what he's notorious for. He's the "smart" Robin. And while that is true, with earning Ra's respect and managing to pull off the entire Red Robin run, that does dismantle a lot of the other Robin's intelligence. Tim is smart, but so is literally every other Robin. Tim however, is calculating. Tim's intellect is precise and strategic. He is the dumbest idiot alive but he has a plan for everything, he can predict the smallest things and read people through and through. He's great at chess and monopoly because he can predict his opponents and plan far in advance, but the second you make him play something on the Wii like bowling or the airplane game, he's terribly stupid. Considering his lack of interest in school, he relies more heavily on street smarts and his heightened common sense.

Tim tries to know a little about everything but accidentally hyper fixates on one thing, so if you happen to bring it up, he'll talk your ear off. It makes him seem super smart but he's really just a bored nerd with too much unmonitored access to the internet.

He can be serious at times without meaning too because he doesn't like to waste too much of his time. He thinks time is precious and every second matters, that's why he spends so much time working rather than doing anything else. Robin gave him something to work towards, made him useful and his life worth living, he needs it. When it was taken from him it was crushing so he'll do anything to make sure he can stay in this line of work. Once again, feeling the need to prove himself to those around him instead of trusting that he is loved unconditionally.

But he really is a goofball. He's a nerd at the end of the day, a very tired, busy nerd, but a nerd nonetheless. He has passions and hobbies and will geek out over anything that's related to those things. He's funny and charming, incredibly witty, and knows how to be charismatic for show.

Tim was raised in the public eye so he has a lot of proper habits that will never get beaten out of him. His posture tends to be stiff and perfect until he's comfortable enough to change it or too out of it to care. He has impeccable manners and will be a proper gentlemen out of habit. He knows the differences between all the cutlery at expensive restaurants and knows when to use them without looking like an idiot.

Time passes by him easily so he will lose track of dates and the time of day. He stays busy a lot because he won't have to feel any other emotion other than stress and he's used to stress, stress is comfortable for him. He often forgets that too much stress isn't healthy.

Death is also a morbid comfortability for him. He witnessed each of his parents die in some way or the other and continuously watched his siblings perish (whether fake or not). This gives him a pretty interesting take on life. Like I said, he thinks time is precious so he doesn't like to waste it. But at the same time, he has terrible time blindness. It's an paradoxical quirk of his.

Tim's entire personality is being a contradictory genius. Try to pin point a quirk of his and you'll end up spirally because it shouldn't make sense, yet it does. Tim is confusing because he's such a paradox of a person. His personality doesn't align with what his trauma tells, or what his thoughts project, or how he was raised, or even his morals, and yet, here he is. And it makes perfect sense all at the same time.

He's a puzzle, but man is he interesting to figure out.

joyfire

If you asked the guys, they’d say they hated the parties. They had a point, she guessed, because really— if Steph had to pose for the cameras like they did, she’d probably hate it too. It was bad enough that she had to explain over and over again that she and Tim weren’t dating anymore, (“We’re actually just friends now… good friends. Please get the microphone out of my face.”) but they had to put up with a lot more than that. 

Anyway, Steph liked Wayne parties. They had nice food. She’d be the first to admit though, they could get a little crazy, which is how this one was turning out.

It all went downhill while she was helping herself to a slice of cake—her phone rang: Dick calling from across the room. So that was suspicious.

“Um, hello?”

“Hey! Listen, I need a favor.”

Steph glanced around the foyer until she saw him by the front door, clutching onto Damian’s shoulders for dear life. It didn’t look good. “Okay, shoot.”

“One of the board members had too much champagne. He’s been saying some, uh, kind of impolite things about Damian and his mom, so…”

“Oh lord. Any casualties?”

“Yeah, not yet, but that’s kind of what I’m worried about. I was wondering if maybe you could take him home? Probably better if— yes you are— he leaves before— child, no— somebody gets hurt— stop struggling I told you NO— or worse. Oh, for the love of— Damian!”

“I can do that, I guess,” Steph told him, regarding her cake regretfully. She supposed she could steal some from the kitchen later. “Yo, Tim, I’m leaving.”

He nodded at her, so she swept through the dance floor. Damn, though, she looked good. That was another nice thing about Wayne parties— they usually came with really sweet dresses. Oh man, she was totally going to… focus. She was going to focus now, before Damian shanked a WASP with half a cake platter. 

Stephanie brushed past a few party goers on her way to the door. She was almost there when she heard him. “I’m just saying, the little bastard doesn’t belong in a boardroom at all, and I— Well hey there, honey, where are you going in such a hurry?”

Seriously? Did that really just happen? Wow, that was so not gonna fly. Steph swung around.

“I was just… you know, maybe I don’t have to leave just yet.” She smiled at him. “What’s your name?”

“Anthony,” he told her. She didn’t like the way he was looking her over. Gross. 

“Prescott, isn’t it? You’re on the board?”

“That I am.”

“Listen, Anthony, can I ask you a favor? My phone just died, and I need to send a couple of texts. Would you mind…?”

“Oh, not at all.” He dug into his pocket and fished out an iPhone, which he unlocked and handed to her. Oh hell yes this was about to get awesome. Stephanie grinned. 

“Thanks! Now let’s see… I want… contacts! There we are. Now what have we got to work with here…?” 

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m just trying to decide who to call about your manners. Let’s see we’ve got… Dad… Mom… Ooh! Grandma. Now how what would your grandma think about the way you’ve been behaving?”

“Oh my god, please don’t—”

“Well now I just have to find out, don’t I? Let’s give her a call!” Stephanie pushed the button. “Ringing, ringing— oh sir, you do not want to do that.” He’d lunged for the phone.

“Give me back my phone you little—”

“Honey, that isn’t helping your case. Hey! Is this Anthony’s grandmother?”

Anthony panicked. He grabbed her arm, so she flipped him— he fell on the floor, and she planted one of her wonderfully glittery heels on his chest and kept right on talking. “Fantastic! It’s great to meet you. My name is Stephanie, and I just met your grandson at a party. Yes, he is very good looking.” She rolled her eyes so Anthony knew he wasn’t. 

“Listen, I’m calling because he’s been very rude to me. Yeah, Mrs. Prescott, you know how they are. I really don’t appreciate it. I should probably mention that I’m a teenager. Yes ma’am. Eighteen. He’s what, at least forty? It made me uncomfortable.”

Stephanie was really liking Mrs. Prescott. “There’s actually one other thing. I have this friend, and your grandson called him a little bastard. I mean, if we’re being completely fair, that’s what he is, but it’s the tone, you know? My friend is ten years old, and he’s very upset. Thank you so much, Mrs. Prescott! I was hoping you would say that.” Stephanie leaned down so Anthony could hear her. 

“Your grandmother wants to talk to you.” She handed him back his phone. “You know, I was just thinking— it’s a pity you’re so old because she probably can’t cut your allowance anymore. Then I remembered that they—” she pointed to the Waynes— “control your salary. So great job, dumbass. You absolutely just insulted the wrong ten year old. Have fun with grandma.” 

And she waltzed away like the badass she knew she was. People were staring at her, but hey, she had caused a scene. And she was gorgeous. She really couldn’t blame them. Even Dick and Tim were gawking at her with their mouths hanging open. Damian actually looked impressed. 

“Good enough?” she asked him.

“Good enough.”

“Awesome. Let’s hit the road. We both have better things we could be doing.”

Damn, she loved Wayne parties.

“Are you here all night?” Jason asked, “or are you planning to, you know, be a human? I think those go home sometimes.”

High above Jason’s head, a swarm of bats entered the cave, winding among the stalactites and screeching a kind of garbled response.

Dick, however, said nothing. He remained bent over one of the long tables on the cavern floor, examining a map Jason could barely see from his own seat a short distance behind, ignoring Jason and his sarcasm both. 

Jason didn’t enjoy being ignored. 

Fine. 

“I have some tasks you could take over,” he suggested, in his least helpful voice, “if you’re in the market for an excuse to keep working. I know you make those sometimes.”

Nothing.

“I have some weapons to clean, if you want to do that. You could type out all my old cases, if that works, because I only have the originals and those are hard to work with.”

Still nothing.

“Take out the trash?” Jason tried. “Wash the dishes? I put a load of laundry in a couple of hours ago, but there’s a wool jacket in the mix, so be careful what you put in the dryer.”

Dick didn’t move. Jason was enjoying himself now.

“Write a sonnet? Map the White House?” Jason held up a finger Dick couldn’t see, like he had just remembered something interesting. “I think there’s a library on 8th that exploded a few days back, so if you could just grab the rubble from the street and rebuild it by hand, that would be great.”

No reaction. 

“Whatever,” said Jason, “I’m out of here. Get some sleep maybe? I know the whole work-to-outrun-despair routine is your ‘thing,’ or whatever, but it never looks good on you. Have you considered—”

Jason cut himself off as Dick finally turned away from the table. Looking him in the eye, Jason felt suddenly and inexplicably afraid. 

“Go on,” said Dick, quietly.

Keep reading

anyway

Jason playing a guitar

sometimes, Bruce just says things without a single input from that big brain of his (the justice league won’t let him forget this anytime soon)

the only thing you need to know about the batman movie is that this bruce is dumb enough, emo enough, and guilty enough to adopt an acrobatic orphan and think it’s absolutely the right decision

Cass is out on patrol and sees Polka Dot Man trying to rob a Dollar General. After she shoos him away, she wanders down an aisle and soon finds the most absurd item in the store.

Cass, in full costume, approaching the cashier: How much?

Paul the Cashier, a fifty year old man who has been working night shifts in Gotham for over thirty years: Just take it. Christ.

—

Later that week:

Tim, stepping into the shower, sees this peeking out at him from behind his shampoo:

Tim: …okay

Tim, texting Cass: Did you give me a Rainbow Batman?

Cass: Pass along the Rainbow Batman for good luck

—

Jason, returning to his safe house after a long night, opens the fridge and sees Rainbow Batman standing knee-deep in his potato salad.

Jason: fuck is this

Tim, texting him seconds later: Pass along Rainbow Batman for good luck.

—

Over the next few months, Rainbow Batman circulates its way around most of the Bat-team. It bounces from Jason to Dick to Damian to Steph. Eventually it gets to Duke, who is tasked with presenting it to Bruce. He waits until Bruce is in a decent mood, then puts it on the driver’s seat of the Batmobile one night as they are all wrapping up a case.

Bruce, opening the Batmobile door: —thank you for your help, Dick. I know you’ve been busy. And Duke, I appreciate you altering your schedule for us. Steph, your intel was excellent. I’m very pleased with the outcome of this mission. You all managed to keep the insubordination at a tolerable level.

Jason, whispering to Dick: Damn, two thank-yous, a compliment, and only one passive-aggressive comment? Did he get laid or something?

Bruce, spotting the Rainbow Batman: I…

Bruce:

Bruce: This??

Bruce: Is this…

Duke, about to explain: Cass found it—

Bruce, clearly trying to process something, blurts out: Is this your way of telling me you all know about Clark?

Everyone:

Jason: called it

cassie must give real good hugs huh

Bruce going through his utility belt checklist and noting who the items are for

Phone charger (Duke, Tim)

Juice box (Damian, Dick)

Fidget toys (Dick, himself)

Kindle (Jason)

Lollipops (all children 👨‍👧‍👦)

Gummy worms (Cass)

Tampon (Steph, Cass. Just in case.)

Epi-Pen (Tim)

A very small dinosaur figurine that Duke gave him (himself)

Pen and mini sketch pad (Damian)

Tootsie Rolls (if Clark stops by)

Condom

Tamagotchi (Cass, Damian)

Shrimp??? 🍤

who put shrimp in my utility belt

I mean it. We’re not going out until someone tells me who did it.

This behavior is unacceptable. This is disgusting.

Well? I’m waiting. Someone has to know who did this.

I’m serious. Who put the goddamned shrimp in here? No, no, we’re not leaving yet. Get back here. Do you think I’m joking? Do I look amused? We’re all staying right here until one of you comes forward.

I can’t believe the disrespect I have to put up with from this family

Shrimp?!

Fine, you know what? Now no one gets to go out. We’re all staying right here in the cave. How do you feel about that? Are you satisfied with yourselves? Condiment King is pouring mustard all over city hall and we’re stuck here because of your bad choices.

Garth says he doesn’t own a tux because he lives underwater and doesn’t need one, but he also clearly owns an entire wardrobe of “human” clothes that all fit his aesthetic so my conclusion is all of his clothes are just gifts from friends. His entire look was handpicked by his buddies. squad-appointed vibes, if you will.

was thinking serious whump-y thoughts the other night about the Justice League getting hit by a fear toxin or whatever that makes them freak out and attack each other & then my brain went ‘Flash gets hit but instead of making him violent it activates his flight reflex so he’s just Running’

Superman: the good news is, the only one still affected is the Flash and he’s not a danger to anyone but himself right not

Flash: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Superman: the bad news is, he’s just running circuits around the world

Flash: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Superman: and we can’t catch him. any suggestions on how to deal with this welcome

Wonder Woman: he’ll tire himself out eventually.

red hood and the outlaws? no, no, you misheard me. red hood and the INlaws. local teenage crime lord gets unwillingly mentored by his big brother’s most determined friends.

Today is the day Two Face will rob the Second National Bank of all its two dollar bills

Ok new fic idea

Bruce gets transported to another dimension where everything is normal. There’s no magic, there’s no vigilantism, no super hero’s

Also his parents are alive

And he’s freaking the absolute fuck out, he’s trying to explain everything and say he’s not suppose to be there and they’re like, “uhhh, let’s call Clark?” And Bruce is like, “YES LETS CALL CLARK”

And Clark and Diana come over and they’re like, “Bruce you good??”

And Bruce is flipping his shit explaining to them, then he smacks the shot out of Clark and everyone is like, “BRUCE WHAT THE FUCK??” And Clark has a nose bleed and Bruce is just standing there freaking out more

Then suddenly he’s like, “where are my children??” And they’re like, “what children? Bruce you have no children?”

And Bruce is like, “My children I adopted! I have 6 kids! 7 of o count Stephanie and I do! WHERES MY KIDS. Talia! Talia I’ll get Talia, she and Ra’s have to understand”

And they’re like, “who????” And Bruce is like, “the mother of my child? The one who got away? We couldn’t agree on certain things. Like not murdering people or taking over the world”

And basically everything is like, “Bruce has lost his shit” meanwhile THAT Bruce is now is the Batman timeline and HES freaking the fuck out. Everyone is freaking the fuck out because that’s not Bruce, and poor Bruce is like, “I’m not ready to be a father??”

But then OUR Bruce is like, “ok I’ll actually prove it” and takes off his shirt and shows all his scars and everyone is like, “holy shit. What is happening?? You’re definitely not Bruce??”

Basically a want all hell to break and Constantine come son and fixes it the end

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Dick Grayson:

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